FIRST DAY OF CLASSES

It happened once.

It happened one day at six o'clock in the evening.

It happened one day at six o'clock in the evening in a very large city. In Moscow.

An advertisement was placed in one newspaper:

Dear comrades!

If you know clowns from the circus or from life, tell them that a school for clowns is opening on the street named after the grandmother of cosmonaut Anton Semenov. In it, clowns will be taught reading, writing and the ability to behave well. Then there will be work on television or in the best circuses in the country. We are waiting for you, dear clowns.

We are waiting for you tomorrow.

Come.

The next morning, a whole demonstration of clowns lined up at the entrance to the school. There were fat clowns and thin clowns, white clowns and black clowns. They made noise, shouted, jumped and played various musical instruments. On watering cans, on violins, on harps, on frying pans.

A very important guest arrived in a big black car - the Minister of Education and Entertainment.

Then a stern citizen wearing glasses and a man’s green hat came out of the school. She took the report out of her briefcase and read:

Dear clowns, we will work hard.

Here part of the demonstration disappeared. These were the noisiest clowns.

We will all do exercises!

Another part of the demonstration disappeared around the corner. They were fat clowns.

And let's wash ourselves properly!

This is where the black clowns ran away. They were not Negro at all, but non-Umyvai.

There are only two clowns left. Boy and girl.

Then a very young woman, the school principal, ran onto the porch. She said:

What are you doing, Vasilisa Potapovna? This way you will scare away all the students. You didn't even say that we have a living corner. We will sing songs. Go to the zoo. And it’s not convenient for us to open a school. It turns out that there are more teachers than students.

“The same amount,” objected the woman in the hat. This was the main teacher of the school. - There are two of us and two of them.

And Uncle Shakir? “He’s the third,” the school director disagreed.

Comrade Shakir is not a teacher. Comrade Shakir is a janitor.

This means he can teach sweeping. So he is also a bit of a teacher. And it turns out that there are more of us...

Thank God that the postman came and brought a telegram. Vasilisa Potapovna in a green hat read:

MEET ME. I ALREADY TOOK OUT.

THE CLOWN SANYA FROM TAIGA AND HIS FAITHFUL COLAN.

I don’t understand anything,” she said. - Why did he fly out of the taiga? And for what? Since he knows how to write telegrams, he has no business here.

Here the training master from the machine intervened:

Clown Sanya is probably a hunter. He lives in the taiga. Polkan is his faithful dog. They flew to you on a plane to study.

But how did he write a telegram if he is illiterate? - Vasilisa Potapovna continued to ask.

“I don’t think he wrote it,” the minister explained, “he dictated it over the phone.” Straight from the taiga.

Suddenly a plane appeared in the sky. Two points separated from it, above which two parachutes flashed. It was the clown Sanya and the faithful Polkan who arrived.

Hooray! - everyone shouted.

Only Polkan turned out to be not a faithful dog, but a faithful goat. It was a hunting, service and guard goat. A new special Michurin breed. She was also a sled dog and a tracker. She was raised by Sanya himself in the taiga at a dog kennel. You will learn more about her.

“Well, that’s it now,” said the director. - There are three students, we can open a school. You can cut the ribbon.

This is usually done by the most honored guest. This guest was the Minister of Education and Entertainment. And Vasilisa Potapovna handed him the scissors.

Just a minute,” said the girl director. - Our school is fun, and opening it should be fun.

She took off the scarf from her head and blindfolded the guest. And he went, snapping his scissors. The minister walked up the steps. And at the door stood a bearded janitor, Comrade Shakir.

Chick!.. - the scissors clicked.

And Uncle Shakir’s huge beard fell to the floor. Many orders on the chest became visible.

The minister became shy, got back into the car and drove away.

Then Vasilisa Potapovna took the scissors and cut off one citizen’s string bag of groceries.

Finally, the clown Natasha - the youngest student - cut the ribbon and Irina Vadimovna invited everyone to the class. She said:

I am Irina Vadimovna. I will teach you to write and read. In addition, I am the director... This,” here she pointed to the green hat, “is Vasilisa Potapovna.” She is the main educator. Will teach you good behavior.

Then the clowns began to stand up.

“I am the clown Sanya from the taiga,” said the clown Sanya from the taiga. - My Polkan is sitting next to me at the desk. We never part. Polkan, voice!

Polkan shouted:

Me-e-e-e-e!

I hope you don't sleep in the same bed with Polkan? - asked Irina Vadimovna.

No. He sleeps under the bed.

It's wonderful that you are such lovebirds. But still, Polkan’s place is in the yard or in a living corner, and not at his desk.

Uncle Shakir came and tied Polkan to a peg in the yard. Polkan was unhappy. And then he screamed out the window for a long time.

“My name is Natasha,” said young Natasha. - I want to appear on TV and act in films. I want to become the most famous.

“And my name is Shura,” said the third clown. He was very red. - I'm a little crazy. I'm with a shift.

He blushed deeply.

Interesting, interesting,” said Vasilisa Potapovna. - What is your shift?

If I think hard about something, it immediately appears. I have this property.

Everyone thought about this property. And Irina Vadimovna asked:

Please think about ice cream. So that it comes with cream. In cups.

Shura began to think so hard that even the hair on his head began to move. And ears too. Bam! And a bowl of ice cream appeared on the table in front of him. And it contains two brushes. One is dental, the other is shoemaking. And two tubes - black and white. With toothpaste and shoe polish.

I knew it! - Shura exclaimed. - This is all because I didn’t brush my teeth and shoes today.

Natasha touched the brushes. And the clown Sanya took Shura by the arm and took him aside.

I wanted to bring a dozen cedar cones from the taiga. For gifts. Yes, I forgot in the chaos. Is it possible to make sure that I have at least a couple? But the healthiest ones.

Shura thought hard and deeply for his comrade. He just went wide-eyed. Clap! And two big lumps appeared on Sanya’s forehead! And what’s interesting is that they are not cedar at all.

Wow! - the businesslike Sanya gasped. - And I also wanted to ask for an imported flashlight. Now I would be all glowing!

It seems that we have all become acquainted! - said Irina Vadimovna.

But then the door opened and another person entered. He was completely grown up. Shaven, with a tie and a large briefcase.

“I am Comrade Pomidorov,” he said. - Arrived for training courses for caretakers. Here are my documents. Management sent me.

Your management made a mistake,” the head teacher said instructively, “you need a neighboring house.” Improvement courses for caretakers there. This is a school for clowns.

Management can't be wrong! - Pomidorov objected.

“Okay, stay,” the headmistress allowed. - Sit on the first desk. It will be more interesting for you and me. Let's start the first lesson.

But then the bell rang and the first day of classes ended.

APPENDICES for the first day of classes

Application one. WHERE POLKAN CAME FROM

(Note from the newspaper “Modern Lumberjack”)

Listen to it, guys, and then try to tell it to your parents. Or clueless younger comrades. It's called:

"INCIDENT AT THE DOG KENNEL"

It happened at a distant taiga outpost. The goat Masha gave birth to seven kids. Perhaps too much. It's autumn, there are problems with the grass.

“It won’t feed me,” the hostess decided. “Six are still going back and forth, and the seventh will have to be drowned!”

But the owner’s son, the young taiga hunter Sanya, decided to save the seventh kid. Just at this time, the border service dog Naida gave birth to puppies. Just two. Although they expected four.

The young hunter placed the seventh kid among the puppies. And Naida began to feed him.

Time passed. The little goat grew by leaps and bounds. A month later, he already firmly knew his nickname Polkan, knew how to serve a thrown ball and easily followed the commands “Sit!”, “Lie down!”, “Run!” and “Voice!”

Sanya persistently raised Polkan. Every morning he ran ten or two kilometers with it.

He taught me to follow a trail, jump over a fence, walk on a log and a taut wire.

Polkan became an amazing creature. He could sit in ambush for hours. He could easily pierce a metal barrel with his sharp horns. He knew how to pull a sleigh and a cart. And at the same time he did not forget to give milk. After all, in the end, Polkan was a goat.

And once Polkan detained a violator at the border. This was a seasoned spy for a seasoned foreign intelligence service. He was well prepared to fight the dogs. He knew the tricks against biting, but he didn’t know the tricks against goring. And Polkan took it, one might say, with bare horns.

Polkan was awarded for this feat. The famous goat was presented with a certificate of honor and a valuable gift - a button accordion.

Polkan did not really need this tool. And young Sanya played it constantly.

It seems to us that the experience of the young Michurin hunter is worthy of all study and implementation in the national economy.

Correspondent Zhuvachkin

Appendix two. WHAT DID THE CLOWNS DO AFTER CLASSES

As soon as the bell rang and the first day of classes ended, Comrade Pomidorov took his briefcase under his arm, said goodbye to everyone and left.

The girl director Irina Vadimovna jumped on a motorcycle and rushed off to the city.

And Vasilisa Potapovna lined up the clowns in numerical order and led them to the school yard, where there was a special two-story extension. There were rooms for students and a dining room.

At the entrance stood the sister-hostess, who is also the brother-cook, Aunt Thekla Parkinen. With plenty of bread and salt and delicious borscht soup.

Oh, how elegant and beautiful you are! And my name is Aunt Thekla. Very easy to remember. Here are the glasses, and these are the glasses, and behind them is the aunt...

Beet! - Natasha said.

But Aunt Thekla was not even offended. She fed everyone lunch and invited them to come and nibble on delicious crackers at any time.

Then the clowns were called to look at the rooms.

Natasha got a large room with a chandelier, a sofa and even a kitten. There was a list of things on the wall. It was written there:

There is only one chandelier.

There is one sofa.

Kitten Vaska is one piece.

Natasha was delighted with the kitten Vaska - “one thing”. She immediately rushed to Aunt Fyokla to ask for one saucer of milk for Vaska. And Shura and Sanya were placed together. Their room had two chandeliers, two sofas, two wardrobes, two table lamps. There were even two TVs. And two mirrors, so as not to be jostled in front of one in the evenings.

Look, guys, does everything appear twice here? Maybe there are items here that are smaller. For example, how many floors are there? And ceilings?

How many football players are there? Walking excavators? Bowhead whales?

Not much? Is it true? They simply don't exist.

When there are no objects, they say that they are zero. There are zero football players, zero excavators, zero bowhead whales.

Appendix three. ABOUT THE STUDENT'S WORKPLACE

Our clowns have settled down well in their school. I think you guys are also living well at home. At least, workplace you have. This is a comfortable table.

It needs to be filled with pens, pencils, erasers, plasticine, chewing gum and all sorts of joy. And so that the light falls from the left. If the light is on the right, then the shadow from your hand will interfere with creating drawing masterpieces.

If your parents have not arranged such a place for you, if they misunderstand something, sing them a song about the workplace.

My words, your music. So sing:

SONG ABOUT THE WORKPLACE

Children who do not have a job:

At mom and dad's

We know this

I have my own desk at work.

Or a machine.

So give it to us too

Permanent place

To master each

And I, for the sake of progress,

I ask parents -

Give the children a notebook

And by pencil.

Children are children who...

Let in our apartment

The furniture is cramped -

Wardrobes and sofas

They're standing in the way.

But still a child

Workplace

Parents urgently

And I, for the sake of progress,

I ask parents -

Give the children a notebook

And by pencil.

Children, guys...

Scientists and enlightened people

Our country is very

And very necessary

So we won't be idle

We are writing urgently

We must study.

Just U...

And I, for the sake of progress,

I ask both dads and moms -

Give the children a notebook

And by pencil.

If the song doesn't work, draw a poster with a table, a chair and a table lamp. Hang it on a brush or broom and walk around the apartment shouting the following slogans:

“EVERY CHILD HAS A WORKPLACE,”

“I DON’T WANT TO BE A SLAUGHTER, I WANT TO BE AN ACADEMIC!”

“STARTING TOMORROW YOU WILL NOT RECOGNIZE ME.”

And this is the most dangerous call for parents:

“GIVE EACH CHILD A KITTEEN!”

They won’t give you a kitten right away, but you will probably get a job.

SECOND DAY OF CLASSES

First, Vasilisa Potapovna decided to educate the clowns a little. She said:

Dear students! If a person is cultured, he simply must be able to write and read.

And it’s not true! - Natasha immediately objected. - For example, I am cultured. I'm not fighting. I don't spit where I shouldn't. But I can’t write.

And I'm cultured! - Sanya the clown shouted. - I have two whole handkerchiefs. One is mine. One for Polkan. But I can't read.

But cultured person must know everything,” Vasilisa Potapovna insisted. - That's why he reads newspapers!

“I listen to the radio,” the modest Shura objected. - And I know everything too. How many degrees are there in the Moscow region? What are the current events in Africa?

What are the current events in Africa? - Natasha asked. - Is Aibolit still there?

So it turns out that studying is not necessary? - Vasilisa Potapovna was confused.

It turns out that’s how it turns out,” Shura answered.

There was a crash of a motorcycle. It was Irina Vadimovna who arrived. Pomodorov appeared behind her with a briefcase under his arm.

What were you doing here?

Vasilisa Potapovna explained to us that studying is not at all necessary! - joyful Natasha shouted. - You can listen to the radio and know everything.

What if you need to write a letter to a friend?

We'll call him on the phone.

What if there is no phone?

“We’ll draw this letter,” Natasha continued. - Using pictures.

OK! - said Irina Vadimovna. - In that case, we will conduct an experiment. Clown Sanya and I will go to a living corner. He will draw a letter. And you will read it.

The clowns were happy and began to wait. And Comrade Pomidorov was reading a newspaper.

In the living corner, Irina Vadimovna said to Sanya:

Do you remember the telegram you sent us from the taiga?

Certainly.

Draw it here.

Sanya thought deeply. Then I took a pencil and drew this picture:

The director looked and said:

I don `t understand. After all, the telegram was like this: “Meet me. I've already taken off. Clown Sanya from the taiga and his faithful Polkan. And no flies.

And there are no flies here. This is a bee. She's buzzing. So you have to read: w-w-w. And this is a child. Together it turns out: w-w-w-wait. Next I am drawn.

What are you doing?

I'm already flying.

What does this have to do with it?

And given what happens: well-w-w-wait. I'm already flying. That is, I’m already on the plane. I mean, he flew out.

What. “It’s logical,” the boss agreed. - Just draw the plane... And there was also something about Polkan in the telegram.

Sanya agreed and completed the drawing. This is what he came up with:

In other words:

Baby, I'm already flying with Polkan.

Then Sanya whistled, and Polkan came rushing from the yard, clattering his high heels on the parquet floor. Sanya stuffed a letter into his mouth and ordered him to take it to the clowns.

And then Polkan burst into the classroom with a message in his mouth. Everyone rushed to him. Natasha was the first to arrive, as usual. She began to read:

Oh, it's all very simple. When Sanya was little, he was bitten by a fly. So he even flew up. He was sick and suffered for a long time. And he decided that when he grew up, he would become a doctor and treat animals.

And what? - said Vasilisa Potapovna. - A very touching story. Maybe that's how it was.

No,” Shura objected. - This needs to be read differently. Look: Polkan, already, doctor... This is a poem.

Polkan is already sick,

Like a little child.

Fly all to me

He's seriously ill.

Let’s make amendments,” said the poetic Shura. - Let's take the fly into account.

And we need to take into account the tail,” Natasha inserted.

And let's take the tail into account. Here's what will happen:

Polkan is all healthy,

Like a little child.

He's flying towards us like a fly,

Twirling his tail.

Vasilisa Potapovna was amazed. How from such small letter so much poetry came out? One moment Polkan was sick with a high fever, and now he is healthy, “twirling his tail.” Vasilisa Potapovna herself only shook her head.

At this time, in the living corner, Irina Vadimovna was talking with the clown Sanya.

You used to live, Sanya, in the taiga. Your goat was hunting squirrels. There are open spaces, fields, motorcycles all around. Now you have to work. Learn to write and count.

Just write! - Sanya objected. - I don’t have to count. I really want to correspond with one girl. I saw her in Ogonyok. And I decided to be friends with her. - He pulled out a magazine wrapped in cellophane from under his shirt and showed a portrait. - She is strict and serious.

Very good girl! - Irina Vadimovna praised. - We will definitely get to know her better. I think I even know where she lives.

Polkan is all healthy,

Like a little child.

He's flying towards us like a fly,

Twirling his tail.

They give it! - Irina Vadimovna laughed. - You sent them a telegram, and they composed a whole poem.

Then Sanya told everything about his letter.

Such a letter should be sent along with the writer, said Comrade Pomidorov. - So that he can figure it out himself. How do I know that this is a l-child, and not a f-s-child?

Maybe we can do another experiment? - said Irina Vadimovna.

Let's!

There is a popular appeal: “Hide matches from children.” Write it using drawings.

The clowns conferred for a long time in the corner with Comrade Pomidorov. Then they brought a drawing. There was a woman in the corner. She was washing something in the washtub. And there were many, many matches around.

What does it mean? - asked Irina Vadimovna.

And Vasilisa Potapovna just blinked her eyes from behind her glasses.

“This is the laundress,” said Natasha. - These are matches. So it comes out: LAUNDERMATCHES. That is, HIDE THE MATCHES. This is clear to anyone, even the underdeveloped.

No,” Irina Vadimovna did not agree. - Here even a highly developed person will not understand anything. Either it’s “Hide the matches,” or it’s “Wash the wood.” You’re having trouble with drawings... What about last names? Does Comrade Pomidorov need to draw a tomato in his passport?

The clowns were sad. Indeed, you can't get very far with drawings.

“Now let’s draw our conclusions,” the headmistress said sternly but cheerfully. - People communicate with each other through conversation, letters, telegrams, notes and gestures... for example, clicks.

She said so and gave Sanya a click. Because he stuck his hand into the aquarium and communicated with the fish by fishing.

We can even talk to people who have long since died. And understand them, because we can read the books they wrote.

“I really love old books,” said Natasha. - They are so huge. You can build a house out of them. If you crack someone with such a book, he will immediately become wiser. Twice.

And Irina Vadimovna continued:

And all our speech consists of individual requests, thoughts, descriptions.

They are conveyed in sentences. Here is an example sentence: “The boy got stuck in the snow.”

Let everyone come up with a proposal themselves,” Vasilisa Potapovna suggested.

Comrade Pomidorov was the first to come up with:

Citizen Petrov went to the bank and got stuck there.

Clown Sanya picked up:

Citizen Petrova went to the bank and got stuck there.

Natasha developed this idea.

Their children Petya and Tanyusha went to the bank and got stuck there. Poor.

But Shura the clown was silent.

Why are you silent? - asked Irina Vadimovna. - Think of something.

What can we come up with? Everyone is already stuck... In this bank.

APPENDICES for the second day of classes

Application one. UNKNOWN

This, guys, is a photo from Ogonyok magazine. Portrait of the girl with whom the hunting Sanya wants to correspond. What can you say about her? How old is she? What is her job? Why is he sitting in this chair on the street? If she has children? How do they behave?

Let mom write down your story. And in twenty years you will read it. And you will be very happy.

Appendix two. AUNT THEKLA'S LESSON

Here are the glasses, and these are the glasses,

And behind them is Aunt Thekla.

She prepared a delicious lunch and said:

I don’t know what they teach you at school, but I would like to teach you proper table manners. The main thing is to eat more. It is very useful. How more people eats, the more fat he gets. The fatter he gets, the healthier he gets.

But in our taiga, fat people feel bad! - Sanya said. - If he wants to sit on a horse, the horse will lie down. If he wants to climb a tree, the tree will bend.

Well-mannered people don’t climb horses or sit on trees,” said Aunt Fyokla. - They live at home and watch TV. And the guests are looked after. Here you are, Shura, why aren’t you courting Natasha? Please give her the cutlets.

Shura reached for the cutlets, but Sanya the clown ran around the table and grabbed the plate from the other side.

Give it back. I want to be educated.

And I want to be educated.

I want to be polite too!

Then the plate broke and the cutlets flew to Natasha on their own. And the pasta went the other way. They fell on Aunt Thekla. And she got a beautiful old-fashioned hairstyle. From pasta.

Aunt Thekla got angry and hit both of them with a spoon. Thus ended the conversation about politeness and education.

Appendix three. FIGURE FOR ATTENTION

This is the room in which the clown Natasha has been living for two days. You see, it's a complete mess. Everything is lying around everywhere and hanging in the wrong place. Tights are on the chandelier, fashionable boots are on the table, and in the closet behind the glass the kitten Vaska is jumping - “one thing.” This probably happens in your rooms too.

If Natasha urgently needs to go on a business trip, she won’t leave before a week. Because only an experienced detective can find a coat, boots and a toothbrush.

Try to find in the picture five items needed for a trip to another city - a toothbrush, a comb, a suitcase, a wallet and an alarm clock.

THIRD DAY OF CLASSES

In the morning everyone came to the door and were shocked. Because there was a lock on the door. And there was a note pinned next to it:

“Vacate the premises immediately. Courses to improve management skills will be posted here.

Comrade Tarakanov."

Irina Vadimovna told the students:

Last time we said that we convey all thoughts and desires to each other in sentences. This note contains three sentences. “Vacate the premises immediately.” “Courses for improving management skills will be posted here.” And "Comrade Cockroaches". Clear?

“I see,” Sanya said. - It’s just not clear.

What's not clear?

It is not clear what to do with the premises. To release or not.

In no case. We continue our studies. I ask you to retell this note in your own words.

Can I? - Natasha screamed. - I've already thought of it. In your own words you need to say this: “Dear clowns, get out of here as soon as possible. Here they will teach not you, but the caretakers. Friend of all insects."

Very good. But what does this have to do with insects’ friend?

Since he is a friend of cockroaches, in other words, he is a friend of insects.

Tarakanov is such a surname,” Pomidorov intervened. - This is my boss. He commands all the caretakers in the area.

Irina Vadimovna began to angrily pull the bell. And Natasha screamed:

Oh, Shura! Shura! Think about it and make sure we have the key!

Shura thought about it and hummed. Then he put his hat on the ground and said:

Once! Two! Three!

The hat flew up and hit him right on the head. And everyone saw that a trickle of water was gushing out of the ground. It turned out to be a wonderful spring, a key.

Nice key! - said Irina Vadimovna. - Wet. You just can’t reveal anything to them.

Then she asked Pomidorov:

Where does the insects' friend work?

He sits in management. Or running around the city. The caretaker is checking.

He won't run far! - shouted the hot Sanya. - Polkan, come to me!

Polkan was tied to a peg in the yard. He galloped up with the peg. Sanya gave him a note from the door to sniff and commanded:

Polkan rushed forward along the trail. Just the sound of hooves.

Stop! - Irina Vadimovna shouted. - Stop! He'll bite him to death.

Where there! Polkan was no longer in sight!.. Sleigh too.

Then Irina Vadimovna roared her motorcycle and flew out after her, scalding everyone on the turns with pebbles.

The rest of the clowns also rushed in pursuit, but Vasilisa Potapovna spread her arms and caught them. She said:

Stop running! Let's continue our lesson outdoors!

The clowns obeyed and did not run anywhere.

“Now we will take pieces of chalk,” said the teacher, “and all as one, in a single formation, we will draw and analyze this terrifying phrase: “He will bite him to death.”

Shura immediately drew Polkan gnawing on Comrade Tarakanov.

Comrade Pomidorov drew Comrade Tarakanov gnawing on Comrade Polkan.

And Natasha, as soon as she saw the asphalt and chalk, began to draw classes and jump.

That is, classes went on as usual.

Polkan ran along the trail, his head down in the ground and his horns pointed forward. Behind him on a long leash is Sanya.

Comrade Cockroaches, who locked their school, was a harmful person. But he knew the traffic rules well. He crossed the road only where there was a sign like this:

But Polkan also behaved wisely. If the light was red, he never ran forward or got under the wheels. Walked only on green.

He did not violate it himself, and he did not give it to others. One old woman suddenly rushed forward to cross the road in front of the bus. Polkan grabbed her skirt with his teeth and held her in place. That is, saved.

The pale driver jumped out of the cab and kissed Polkan.

But Irina Vadimovna and her motorcycle were not lucky. Sanya turned into an alley. She wanted to rush after him, but saw a sign:

It means that cars are only allowed to move straight ahead. It turns out that thoughts and orders can be conveyed not only by words, but also by signs.

Irina Vadimovna drove “only straight” and lost sight of the nimble Sanya and his faithful horned friend...

The trail of Comrade Tarakanov led Polkan and Sanya to the metro.

The attendant argued for a long time. She brought Sanya instructions. And she said:

You see: “Cats and dogs are prohibited from entering the subway.”

Sanya pushed the instructions aside:

Dogs and cats are prohibited. But with service and guard goats it is not prohibited!

The attendant looked through the instructions with hope, but there was nothing else there. She conceded.

She just ordered Polkan to wrap up his horns. How skiers wrap sharp ends to avoid scratching passengers. Sanya took off his scarf, wrapped Polkan's horns and rushed down the escalator.

Vasilisa Potapovna taught classes. Shura and Natasha played classes. Comrade Pomidorov was disciplined.

“Everything we say,” the teacher asserted, “we say in words.”

No,” Natasha objected. - We speak with our mouths.

We speak with words! For example, there is the word “candy”.

Candy is not a word. This is food. Very tasty.

Vasilisa Potapovna began to boil:

We speak in words. Children, call on your imagination to help. And you, Comrade Pomidorov, too.

The students concentrated.

Imagine that I had candy. We ate it. What's left?

“A piece of paper,” Natasha said quickly.

No, not a piece of paper.

A bag?

Not really. Not a bit of a bag. Here you are, Comrade Pomidorov, tell me what’s left?

I was left with a feeling of deep satisfaction. Feeling grateful to the teaching staff.

What does gratitude have to do with it? - the teacher shouted. - They ate the candy, but the word “candy” remained.

Candy is not a word. “This is food on a piece of paper,” Natasha said again.

Guard! - Vasilisa Potapovna quietly said the word “guard”.

If there were candy,” said Pomodorov, “we would have sorted it out.”

Natasha took Shura aside:

Try, tense up. Tutorials are urgently needed. The best is "Golden Key". And no less than a kilogram.

Shura nodded and immediately began to hum and crackle. Then he put his hat on the ground.

Now the oil will hit! - said Pomodorov.

But the oil didn’t hit. When the hat was lifted, a beautiful golden key lay under it. No less than a kilogram.

Who needs it! - Vasilisa Potapovna was indignant. - We need candy.

“And we also need the key,” said the economical Pomidorov. - We can now open the lock.

And sure enough: they inserted the key and the lock opened.

Hooray! - the clowns shouted.

“Candy is a little thing in a piece of paper,” said Vasilisa Potapovna. - What is “hurray!”? Is this the little thing in the box?

The clowns looked around:

No cheers.

That's right, there is no such thing. And there is such a word. There is also the word “please”. But there is no such thing. Because words and objects are completely different things. It happens that one word refers to two objects. Let's say there is the word "hat". This word is used to describe both the headdress and the bungler.

Exactly,” Natasha agreed. - It happens that there is one word, but several objects. For example, there is only one train at the station, but there are ten cars.

The carriages have nothing to do with it. Wrong example.

And at our work we have such an object - the boss. The same subject can be called a second word - “leader,” said Pomidorov.

And I am such an object! - Shura was surprised at himself. - You can also call me different words. I am both a “clown”, and a “citizen”, and a “student”.

She finished classes and sent the clowns to the cafeteria.

Tomorrow I ask no one to be late!

Her heart was uneasy.

Where did my motorcycle manual go? And where is this beloved “clown”, “hunter” and “citizen” with his four-legged animal world?

The four-legged animal world is Polkan.

You see, there is one subject, but three words.

APPENDICES for the third day of classes

A story to retell

A NEW FRIEND IS BETTER THAN THE OLD TWO

Just recently in the newspaper “Modern Lumberjack” we described an incident in a dog kennel. How a service dog raised a kid.

And yesterday, in the capital’s metro, dozens of passengers could happily watch the continuation of the story.

A well-built young man entered the carriage, leading a beautiful, proud animal on a leash. This was another service goat.

Polkasha, - said the young man, - to your feet!

And the goat silently followed the order.

The young schoolboy Vitya Merezhko, who was in this carriage, was so shocked by what he saw that he stood up and gave his seat to the animal.

Questions poured in from all sides:

Does she know the commands?

Does she give milk?

Should she be vaccinated against rabies?

How many times a day should she be taken out for walks?

And the young man answered all questions positively.

A foreigner entered the carriage. Or maybe not a foreigner, but his hat was from a foreign power. And made of straw.

Polkasha became so excited that she stood up and immediately took a bite from her hat. The young man also became agitated and embarrassed, and he and the goat left the carriage. Only the hooves clattered on the marble floor. I think it was the Kievskaya station.

I think our readers will be pleased with the rapid introduction of service goats into life. And the relevant senior officials will support the valuable endeavor of young people by opening a Service Goat Breeding Club in Moscow.

Because this new friend of humanity can not only detain a criminal, go hunting, but also provide milk, and, in extreme cases, meat.

Correspondent Zhuvachkin

Appendix two. TASK ON TRAFFIC RULES IN THE CITY

This, guys, is the street - Kutuzovsky Prospekt. Somewhere here is the Main Department of Supply Managers. It's on the other side of the street. And on this one stands the agricultural citizen Uncle Vitya Chizhikov.

You see, next to him is the goat Masha, a wolf and a bag of cabbage. The goat is simple, not a service goat. And the wolf is half-predatory.

The fact is that Uncle Vitya lived in a suburban area. In a house with a vegetable garden. Cabbage grew behind the fence, and a goat walked along the fence.

The area began to expand. And on the site of my uncle’s house they decided to build a powerful horizontal skyscraper.

Uncle Vita was offered a good apartment. But he doesn't want to. Because I’m used to living on earth with a wolf and cabbage. He loves to work in the garden and breathe the air.

So Uncle Chizhikov came to the Department to ask that they not give him an apartment, and that his house be moved by crane out of town. Or they would install it on the roof of a city building. And they would put a vegetable garden on the roof.

To get to the Office, he needs to cross the street. He cannot take everything at once: the wolf, the cabbage, and the goat. He only has two hands. And one is already taken. It contains a briefcase with statements and a gift. (There is a rooster sitting there.)

If he takes the wolf, the goat will eat the cabbage. If he takes the cabbage, the wolf will eat the goat.

What should he do? To move on correctly. And so that no one eats anyone.

Appendix three. END OF THE STORY ABOUT POLKAN AND COMRADE TARAKANOV

At the Kievskaya station, Polkan pulled Sanya out of the car and rushed along the trail to the escalator. He ran out, clattering his hooves, into the street and led the owner to the building of the Supply Management Department.

Irina Vadimovna stood there at the gate.

Hello! - she said. - That's right, the comrade of all cockroaches works here.

She turned to the watchman:

Let us through. We are visiting Comrade Tarakanov.

What for?

“We brought him milk,” Sanya said.

Where is it? Let me tell you,” the watchman looked at the whole trio with an attentive glance.

It’s in Polkan,” said Sanya. - That is, in a goat. Pass it along with Polkan. And with me.

Somehow everyone is coming to us with goats today! - the watchman was surprised. - And I’ll see if there’s a pass for your milk. Prepare your documents.

Polkan and Sanya had no documents. Irina Vadimovna too. Of course, the watchman could have let them through. But he was the nephew of Comrade Tarakanov. And he didn’t want his uncle to be bothered in vain.

Well, them with their milk! Uncle's peace of mind is more important. Otherwise they will gore him.

FOURTH DAY OF CLASSES

Everyone arrived on time. And Irina Vadimovna immediately asked:

Well, what did you understand without me?

All! - the clowns shouted. - That we speak in sentences. That sentences are made up of words. That objects are called words.

Great. - Irina Vadimovna took a bird out of her purse. - Who is this?

Sparrow! - Sanya understood.

Right. I took it from the cat. We'll release it now.

Sparrow rushed through the window.

You see, he flew away, but the word “sparrow” remained with us.

“Dear children and Comrade Pomidorov,” Vasilisa Potapovna intervened, “give similar examples.

Please, - said Pomodorov. - Citizen Petrov went on a business trip, but the word “citizen” remained.

Natasha immediately joined in:

His wife, citizen Petrova, flew off on a business trip, but the word “citizen” remained.

And Sanya also shouted:

Their dog Tuzik flew off on a business trip, but the word “dog” remained.

But Shura was silent.

Why are you silent, Shura,” said the headmistress, “think of something.”

Why come up with this? Everyone has already left.

Suddenly the postman appeared. With a letter.

Oh, how much fun you have here! What are you doing here?

We go over the difference between objects and words! - Natasha explained to him. - Do you know this difference?

Who doesn't know her? Everyone at our post office knows. I can even sing you a song about this... Look how many musical instruments you have.

And the teachers sat down at their instruments, and the postal representative sang:

SONG ABOUT OBJECTS AND WORDS

Let's say I'm carrying a package

For Dr. Petrov.

Package - item

And in it - hello.

“Hello” is such a word.

Children must remember

And know how two-two

What is there in this world

Objects and words.

Thank you,” says Petrov.

“Thank you” is the word.

For this word I'm ready

Kiss Petrov.

Children must remember

And know how to do it twice.

What is there in this world

Objects and words.

Here with full bag newspapers

I'm walking into the distance again.

And the bag is my item.

And “distance” is such a word.

Children must remember

And know how two-two

What is there in this world

Objects and words.

After this song, for some reason, Comrade Pomidorov became thoughtful and sad.

Is there anything you don't understand? - asked Irina Vadimovna.

How could a package come to Comrade Petrov if Comrade Petrov had just left on a business trip?

Indeed,” the headmistress agreed. - But I think it was another Petrov - his brother.

The postman left. Irina Vadimovna still has a letter in her hands. It was like this:

The national economy of our region needs competent supply managers. A large facility is needed to enhance their learning.

Therefore: I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO LEAVE THE PREMISES TO STAY IN THE SCHOOL.

Comrade Tarakanov

Head of the Department of Supply Managers

“There is one mistake in this paper,” said the headmistress. Which?

There is no stamp in it,” said Comrade Pomidorov. - Therefore it is invalid.

It's very good that it's invalid. But this is not the mistake. After all, an order can be understood in different ways. You can do this: “Stay in school! I don’t allow anyone to leave the premises.” Or you could say: “I don’t allow anyone to stay at school. Leave the premises." It all depends on how you read. Between which words should you stop? On paper, this stop is indicated by a dot. Or a comma.

We will make a stop so as not to leave anything behind! - Natasha screamed.

The most important thing is that they don’t capture us at night,” Pomidorov said. - Such cases have happened. And then they will never be evicted.

Thank you, Comrade Pomidorov. We'll take care of that.

When the clowns left for lunch, she called Uncle Shakir:

Enemies want to take over our school.

Foreign military?

No, caretakers. You'll have to hold the line tonight. We'll give you a gun. And cartridges. Load the cartridges with salt.

In no case! - Vasilisa Potapovna intervened sternly. - What are you talking about? Shooting people with salt is so cruel. It's better than granulated sugar. This is already good.

APPENDICES for the fourth day of classes

Application one. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW YOUR ADDRESS

Here is the envelope of the letter sent by Comrade Tarakanov. The address is written on it: “Moscow, street named after the grandmother of cosmonaut Anton Semenov. Clown school."

Every person, or factory, or kindergarten has an address.

Letters, newspapers, and gifts are delivered to a person at this address. And sometimes the person himself, if he is small and lost.

You must remember your address by heart. Do you know your address well? This book was published by Comet Publishing House. The publisher's address is: 191002, St. Petersburg, Zagorodny, 10. If you liked the book, write to us about it. Moreover, the book should teach you how to write. And we will immediately understand how you learned. And if there are no letters from you, it means you were unable to get this publication.

Appendix two. THE CASE OF UNCLE SHAKIR ON A DARK NIGHT

Uncle Shakir stood with a gun on guard at the school door. I was standing. I was standing. Tired. Then he brought a chair to the post. And he was already sitting at his post. With a gun on his shoulder. Sat. Sat. Sat. Tired.

Then he brought a cot to the post. And I decided to lie down at my post for a while. With a gun on his shoulder. He decided to fight sleep. Fought. Fought. Fought. Fought. Fought. I was thinking about brooms. Asleep.

But the enemy does not sleep. Some people appeared. They took hold of the cot... They wanted to take sleepy Uncle Shakir out to the city square. Stuffed into a midnight trolleybus. For him to go there, I don’t know where. Somewhere, I don’t know what, walks around and asks: “Your ticket?”

And Uncle Shakir didn’t have a ticket, but he had a gun. And he is a hot-headed man: and it is unknown how it would all end... But...

But then Polkan intervened. He firmly remembered the order of his master Sanya: “Let everyone in and don’t let anyone out.”

Polkan growled:

Be-e-be-e!

And he rushed at the carry-aways. They flew in different directions. And Uncle Shakir was abandoned.

Uncle Shakir shouted:

Guard! Mine is being taken away!

He grabbed the gun from under the blanket and threw granulated sugar wherever his eyes looked...

Appendix three. WHO WOKE UP AT NIGHT AND JUMPED INTO THE YARD

At night, when the shot went off, one of the clowns woke up. He put on his shoes, jacket, hat and ran out into the yard.

Here's a hanger. Guess who jumped out of the house at night.

FIFTH DAY OF CLASSES

The next day Uncle Shakir said:

I'm standing at my post. I'm holding a weapon. I look with one eye. Vydyrug...

What's the hole? - the clowns shouted.

-...Suddenly some dark force appeared. And she pushed me into bed.

Everyone began to ask where this dark force came from. And Natasha asked:

Where did the bed come from?

“I don’t know,” answered Uncle Shakir. - I think I brought it myself. I felt like I was in a daze.

And he told everything in detail.

...He lay in bed, hypnotized, and took aim in different directions. He was very brave. But still, an evil force enveloped him and plunged him into sleep. He lost consciousness.

Then it was as if a mine exploded underneath him. He was thrown to the side along with the cot. And Polkan fell on him from above or below.

Uncle Shakir woke up - there were enemies all around. He and let's shoot. What was the strength.

Then the clown Sanya picked up his heroic story:

I hear shooting at night. I thought the hunt was open. I leaned out and saw Uncle Shakir firing from a gun. Polkan screams. Some people are hiding in the distance. One is fat, another is tall, the third is green. Then everything became quiet. I went back and stuck it.

These are our people,” Pomidorov said. - Caretaker. Dynin, Grushin and Tarakanov himself. I recognized them immediately. In height, thickness and greenness.

Why didn’t you, Sanya, chase them? - Natasha asked.

I put on someone's shoes in the dark. On high heels. You can't run around in them.

Irina Vadimovna thanked Uncle Shakir for his faithful service. And she allowed him to rest for two days.

Uncle Shakir decided to renovate the school fence during these two days of rest. All kinds of sandbox swings. And generally work properly.

Who will be on duty at the site today? - asked Comrade Pomidorov.

I'll be on duty today! - said Vasilisa Potapovna. - They won't pass.

Irina Vadimovna told her: “Thank you” and offered to teach classes. And she jumped into her motorcycle. And before she even had time to be in the saddle, her trusty motorcycle carried her out into the street. She decided to go to the ministry and find out who wanted to drag Uncle Shakir away and why.

The Minister of Education and Entertainment greeted her with joy:

How are you? Has Uncle Shakir already grown a beard?

Not yet. And we have no time for beards at all. Uncle Shakir himself was almost stolen.

I do not know who.

She told about the latest events. About letters and attacks.

Today they are dragging Uncle Shakir. Tomorrow they will carry out Vasilisa Potapovna. And the day after tomorrow - students. So we will be left without people.

The minister said:

This room was given to us temporarily. Previously it belonged to the caretaker. Brooms, brooms and counting machines were stored there. The caretakers felt cramped. That's why Comrade Tarakanov and his comrades are trying to survive you.

I'm afraid they'll overdo it...

That’s right, this Tarakanov is a great enthusiast. He is very assertive. You need to hold out. A new building will be built for them soon.

Let's hold on.

Irina Vadimovna started the motorcycle. Then the minister called out to her from the window:

Here's a gift for Uncle Shakir. Wig beard. Now it is fashionable... Among the intelligentsia.

Vasilisa Potapovna taught the lesson:

You already understand that fairy tales, stories...

- ...reports consist of proposals. And sentences are made up of words.

Aunt Thekla entered the class with a jar.

What offer do you have? - asked the teacher.

I have a suggestion for everyone to drink fish oil. Kids, eat fish oil.

This is a very good offer. How many words does it consist of?

Of the three, - said Natasha - From CHILDREN, from EAT and from FISH OIL.

What is she doing wrong? - asked Vasilisa Potapovna.

The fact is that we are not children,” Pomidorov said.

The point is that you shouldn’t eat fish oil, but drink it,” Shura said.

No. The mistake is that FISH OIL is two words. One word FISH. The second is FAT.

The door swung open and a skinny citizen with a beard entered. He shouted:

How many words does the sentence BEARDED UNCLE consist of?

And he himself answered:

Of the two. From UNCLE and BEARD.

The citizen took off his beard, and everyone saw thin Irina Vadimovna.

She taught the lesson.

Now I will give you the words SPORTSMAN, CART, READING, LUCKY, HORSE, NEWSPAPER. And you make a few sentences out of them.

Comrade Pomidorov was the first to realize. He stood up, as if at a meeting, and said:

Please speak.

Please.

A SPORTSMAN READS A NEWSPAPER, A HORSE DRAWS A CART.

Great.

Is it possible to do so! - Natasha screamed. - A HORSE IS READING A NEWSPAPER. A SPORTSMAN DRAWING A CART.

In our management department, a CART is what they call an abusive letter,” Pomidorov explained. - Therefore, you can also say this: THE ATHLETE READS THE CART.

Here Pomidorov’s imagination ran wild, and he shouted:

THE ATHLETE READS THE HORSE!

And what? - Irina Vadimovna supported. - Imagine - a living newspaper. Title EVENING HORSE. On the sides there are photographs and articles.

“I would definitely sign up such a horse,” Sanya said. - It is very convenient in rural areas. The postman arrived with it, we read it, and it went to the neighboring village.

But The Evening Horse has not yet been released. And the sentence ATHLETE READS A HORSE is incorrect. We took a word from one sentence and put it in another. And there must be order in the sentence.

There should be order not only in the sentence,” Pomidorov said gravely, “but everywhere.” By transport. At work.

“I’ll sing you a song about announcements,” said Irina Vadimovna. - It talks about the order of words in a sentence.

Vasilisa Potapovna sat down at the piano. And Irina Vadimovna began to sing.

SONG ABOUT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Known announcements

We need it in order to

So that the population knows

Reading the ads:

What? Where? When? And why?

For what? And for whom?

“The kindergarten needs a laundress.

Call the kindergarten."

"The dog is lost"

Nicknamed Marmalade."

“Summer cottage for rent

With a goat and a garage."

“There will be a lecture at the theater

About life abroad."

"We need a cart with a horse

And loaders to the warehouse."

“The living space is changing:

Moscow to Leningrad."

"The teacher teaches singing

And drawing."

And "Nanny needed"

To a good family."

Typesetter in a printing house

Suddenly I dropped the set...

Mixed up in ads

Words and sentences

And in these WHERE? WHEN? FOR WHAT?

All hell broke loose.

“The kindergarten needs a laundress

With the cart to the warehouse."

“The teacher changes:

Moscow to Leningrad."

“Summer cottage for rent

And a loader with a garage.”

“There will be a lecture at the theater

"Goat Abroad"

"The dog teaches singing

And drawing."

And "Horse Wanted"

To a good family."

The population laughed

Reading the advertisements.

And who couldn't laugh?

I was perplexed.

The clowns laughed. And Comrade Pomidorov was perplexed:

He was probably reprimanded.

To the typesetter. So that there is no more confusion.

That’s right,” agreed Irina Vadimovna. - I think they also deprived me of the bonus. And they removed him from the Board of Honor if he was hanging there.

We don't have those hanging around! - said Pomidorov. - We have worthy ones hanging.

The bell rang. Classes are over.

APPENDICES for the fifth day of classes

Application one. MYSTERIOUS DRAWING FOR WIT

Guys, this is a commission. She looks around the school: is everything okay here, are the students being bullied, are they sleeping properly?

Aunt Thekla treats everyone to tea. Try to find out who Comrade Tarakanov is here?

Appendix two. SENIOR TEACHER IS ON NIGHT DUTY

A story to retell

In our age, when everyone is nervous, it’s stupid to stay up all night! - Vasilisa Potapovna decided. - I'll go to bed. Let my technical thought not sleep.

She brought a cot and a blanket. Then I found a small iron barrel and placed it on the very edge of the roof. Just above the porch. She tied a fishing line to the barrel. The other end of the fishing line was extended to the gate.

Now, if some swindler or caretaker opens the gate, there will be such a roar!.. It will rouse not only Vasilisa Potapovna, but also the entire city police. Just pull the gate towards you.

The teacher went to bed. The stars laughed in the sky. She lay there and remembered her tent-carriage youth.

And on the roof of the school lived one curious crow. The kind that sticks around everywhere. She took it and went downstairs to see what they had made here without her? Sat on a rope...

How the barrel will fly off! How it will rumble! How Vasilisa Potapovna will jump out of the folding bed! How he will scream! How the crow gets scared - and faints!

The heroic teacher realized what was going on. I installed the barrel again. And she began to give the crow artificial respiration. Somehow I pumped the crow out and went to bed.

Then a police patrol arrived. Find out what happened here? Who rattles your barrels at night? Are you scared of the police?

As soon as the policeman pulled the gate towards himself to enter the yard, the fishing line would become taut! How the barrel will collapse! And let's rumble!

The policeman jumped on the barrel and used sambo techniques to calm him down. At the same time, the noise was so loud that the motorcycle almost ran away.

Vasilisa Potapovna jumped out of the folding bed again. He sees that everything is in order, there are police around...

They and the patrol installed the barrel in place. Order... The teacher went to bed. And the patrol went to the motorcycle. He’ll push a gate to get out, and the fishing line will stretch. How the barrel will jerk!

The barrel will fly off and hit the policeman under the knees! How he will rush at her! How much he will give!

Vasilisa Potapovna did not have much rest that night. But the caretakers didn’t even come close because of this noise.

SIXTH DAY OF CLASSES

In the morning, the headmistress was the first to arrive at school. She pulled the gate towards herself. And the barrel crashed again.

Vasilisa Potapovna didn’t even wake up. So she was tormented at night.

But then Polkan became enraged. He attacked the barrel with horns. And let's butt heads. Overnight he got tired of it worse than bitter radish. Polkan drove the barrel across the yard, broke through the fence and jumped out into the street.

A construction worker was walking behind the fence. He had a crowbar in one hand and a shovel in the other. He was fat and suspicious. (In fact, it was the caretaker Dynin in disguise. From the fire organization. His comrade Tarakanov sent to spy on the clowns.)

The disguised Dynin sees that a barrel is being rolled towards him. He barely managed to jump on it. And in order not to fall, he began to move his feet. So I went on the barrel.

It turned out to be a funny picture. Polkan is pushing a barrel down the street. She rolls with a roar. And the caretaker Dynin is running along the barrel with a shovel and crowbar. He runs in one direction and goes in the other. So I rolled up to the main caretaker's house. He drove right up to the porch. To the watchman's nephew.

Then Polkan calmed down and ran home. And Dynin went to report everything to Comrade Tarakanov.

So, they say, and so. It's difficult to get into the school. The object is guarded. People, and barrels, and police, and service goats. But they have a violation. Water is pouring into the area. The pipe must have burst.

“We will fine you,” said Comrade Tarakanov. And he ordered to continue observation.

And classes were going on at school. Irina Vadimovna explained to the clowns:

You learned that our speech consists of sentences. That sentences can be divided into words. But words can also be divided. Into parts!

There are as many parts to a word as the number of times we open our mouth. For example, I say MA-MA. I opened my mouth twice. This means that the word MAMA has two parts.

And the word MANAGER has two parts! - Pomodorov happily made the discovery. - MANAGER and HOZ. ZAV is the manager. HOZ is a household.

And I understood everything! - Natasha screamed. - The word CHAIR consists of five parts. Because it has four legs and a back.

Here the uncertain Shura intervened:

They completely confused me. In your opinion, Irina Vadimovna, the word CHAIR consists of one part. We open our mouths once. And they say - from many parts. From seats and legs... Then it turns out that the word CENTIPEDE consists of forty parts. She has forty legs.

No,” Irina Vadimovna reassured him. - The word CENTIPEDE consists of five parts. CENTIPEDE. It's very easy to count.

Absolutely impossible! - Natasha said.

That’s right,” agreed Irina Vadimovna. - C'mon, my mistake. A break is announced for two hours.

She called the sleepy Vasilisa Potapovna. They started a teachers' meeting. And at that time the clowns were walking around the area near the school and screaming.

GUY-KA - two parts.

MAY-KA - two parts.

BA-LA-LAI-KA - many parts.

One comrade Pomidorov shouted differently. After all, he knew how to count.

He shouted like this:

One, two - VET-KA.

Three, four - CAGE.

Five, six, seven, eight - TA-BU-RET-KA.

Then the clowns took their toll musical instruments, lined up as if for a demonstration, began to walk around the school and divide everything into parts. Whatever caught my eye.

One, two - GAL-KA,

Three, four - PAL-KA.

Five, six, seven, eight - PO-LI-BAL-KA.

One, two - PI-VO.

Three, four - WATER,

Five, six, seven, eight - PE-SHE-HO-DY.

In the outbuilding of the school, in the kitchen, a lot of work was going on. Vasilisa Potapovna and Aunt Fekla Parkinen, under the leadership of Irina Vadimovna, prepared a pie for the clowns.

They kneaded the dough. They chopped the cabbage into a thousand pieces. They wanted to use pie to teach clowns how to count. Finally the pie is ready. Irina Vadimovna brought Polkan to class. I painted his antlers with red paint. I combed my hair. He became like an old writer. Then they called the clowns.

Irina Vadimovna said:

Today is Polkan's holiday. World Cabbage Day. He has a pie. This pie must be divided among everyone. How many guests are there?

Natasha began to bend her fingers:

Shura, Sanechka, Natasha, Pomidorov and Polkasha.

How much did you get?

Natasha showed her fingers:

That's how much.

Yeah, five,” said Irina Vadimovna. - Now invite Uncle Shakir to the table.

Sanya immediately ran after the watchman. Uncle Shakir came all dressed up. In a fashionable wig beard. And, embarrassed, he sat down at the table.

Now how many of you are there? - asked the headmistress.

“Six,” Pomidorov answered.

Great. There are six of you at the table... that is, animals... That is, five and one. And only six...

“...pie eaters,” inserted the nimble Natasha.

Right. Six guests. And you must divide the pie between them. How to do it?

Very simple! - Natasha screamed. - Let's take turns biting him.

“Nothing will come of it,” Sanya said. - Once my Polkan bites, no one else will have to bite. Look at his teeth!

Let him bite the last one,” Shura suggested.

Then it may turn out that he will not get anything at all! - Sanya objected. - Comrade Pomidorov also bites well. And the holiday is in honor of Polkan.

I can do without your pie! - Pomidorov was offended.

Here Irina Vadimovna intervened:

OK then. Everyone is here. You can bite the pie right off the plate. It’s even convenient - you don’t need to wash the dishes. What if you go to visit the Queen of England? Will you also take turns biting the pies? And Polkan will take part?

The clowns fell silent.

Isn't it easier to divide the pie into parts? - Vasilisa Potapovna suggested.

Hooray! - Natasha screamed. - We divide it in half like this. And just like that, in half. It turned out to be a lot of pieces. Let everyone take it now.

She took a piece herself. Sanya took a piece. Shura took it. And Comrade Pomidorov took it. That's all. There are no more pieces left. Uncle Shakir and Polkan were left without the pie.

Haven't you eaten your pieces yet? - asked the headmistress.

Then put it back. And think again.

“We’ll cut them again,” Sanya suggested. - Each piece in half. There will be quite a lot of them. There's enough for everyone.

So they did. And everyone took a piece again. Sanya took it, Natasha took it, Pomodorov took it, Shura took it. Uncle Shakir took it. And they gave it to Polkan. And there are still two extra pieces left.

Well? - asked Irina Vadimovna. - I see there is a remainder. Not completely divided. Will you put everything on the plate again and cut it again?

“There’s nothing left for Polkan to put in,” Natasha said. - He has already eaten his piece.

Here Vasilisa Potapovna could not stand it.

If you keep putting and cutting, you will turn the cabbage pie into just cabbage. We must learn to count. There is no other way out.

“Yes,” the shy Shura objected. - You and Aunt Fyokla take these pieces for yourself. And you will also be guests.

No! No! - Aunt Thekla screamed in a tragic voice, as if on stage. She was very shy. - I'm full, I'm full, children.

Can I have a piece? - asked the headmistress.

Certainly! - the clowns shouted.

God bless! The pie was divided. And there was no need to think about mathematics anymore.

Everyone happily ate the pie and drank tea.

This is the pie... that is, the lesson is over.

It was a very tasty lesson. That is a pie.

Sanya went to accompany Irina Vadimovna to the motorcycle.

“Irina Vadimovna,” he said. - The nights are getting cool. Polkan may catch a cold. If he starts sneezing, you can't stop him.

What are you proposing? Should I buy him a fur coat?

We need to move him indoors. Under my bed.

“We will build him a good one-room booth,” said the headmistress. - In the meantime, let him spend the night under the porch.

It was a great way to arrange Polkan under the entrance to the school.

Sanya asked Shakir for a saw and cut a hole in the porch. Not on the steps, of course, but on the side. Polkan got his own house. True, sometimes different feet stomped over his head. And garbage fell. But Polkan was not a sissy.

APPENDICES for the sixth day of classes

Application one. NIGHT DUTY SHURA AND NATASHA

A story to retell

Shura and Natasha stood at the post and talked. And they divided into parts everything that caught their eye.

Oh, SUN! - Natasha said.

Oh, SE-LO! - Shura picked up.

Oh, FO-NARY! - Natasha said.

OH, GAS! - Shura supported.

And then it got completely dark, and the stars came out. Shura immediately noted this:

Oh, STARS! OH, COME OUT!

OH, SCARY! Oh, STA-LO! - Natasha said.

And suddenly, under the porch, someone stirred and sighed.

Oh, Shurochka! Make sure we have sabers in our hands.

Shura thought and hummed. Once! And they had a rake in their hands.

What have you done? - Natasha asked in a whisper. - Are we going to stir up hay?

At this time it was still dark. The key began to rustle more loudly, and fog came from it. And under the porch someone was puffing. It became completely scary.

“Oh, Shurochka,” Natasha said quietly. - Make sure that we have spades in our hands. So that we become like knights in helmets.

Shura buzzed again. They had fire helmets on their heads, and hooks appeared in their hands.

Have you gone completely bad? - Natasha asked. - Do we really want to put out fires?

Still, it’s more fun with a hook! - said Shura.

Then Natasha hits the porch with the hook. And from there, as if from a barrel:

Meeeeeeeeeee!

Either there are spies there, or supply managers... In general, devilry- not ours.

Guard! - Natasha stated.

Oh, mom! - said Shura.

And something worked for him. Because a stern aunt in curlers appeared on the porch. With a broom and dustpan. It was Shura's mother from the city of Kasimov. She apparently was sweeping the floor at home in her beloved city, and Shura called her from there.

Mom waved the broom a few more times and then looked up.

Oh, Shura has arrived!

They started hugging! But mom hugs and keeps looking around.

Oh, what is this?! This is Moscow!

She realized that an unknown force from her brother-in-law pulled her out of the house and brought her to the capital of our Motherland. That she, like a peasant serf, without evening dress, without high-heeled shoes, and even in curlers!

This is just HORRIBLE! (This word, guys, has one part.)

This is just HORRIBLE! (And this word has two parts.)

Come on, send me home, BE-ZO-BRAZ-NIK! (And this word, guys, has many parts.)

She lightly cracked her son with a broom. Although Shura was clean, dust-free, and did not need to be swept.

Shura buzzed to send his mother to Kasimov. Bam-bang! Mom stayed where she was, and Bobik the dog from the same city appeared.

Then grandfather in the chair.

Then the TV in front of grandpa.

In short, everything that was in Kasimov appeared in my mother’s room. And it became completely unclear who arrived to whom.

Either mom and grandpa are going to Moscow, or Shura and Natasha are going to Kasimov.

Suddenly mom noticed Natasha.

Who is this lady with a stick? And why do you have a samovar on your head? You're disgracing us!

Ugh! Finished my studies! - Grandfather spat.

Now I won’t go anywhere until I figure everything out! - Mom raged.

And I won't leave! - Grandfather shouted. - I’ll go to the Tretyakov Gallery!

But for some reason the TV disappeared. And the grandfather himself disappeared.

And my mother’s broom disappeared.

Don't think about sending me back! - Mom ordered.

I want to detain you!

Shura hummed with all his might. But as luck would have it, everything disappeared. And the dog, and the grandfather, and, finally, the mother herself.

But she managed to hit Shura on the head with the disappearing shovel. If it weren't for the helmet, Shura would have had a beautiful bump. And she would not have disappeared as quickly as mom.

A ringing sound came from the helmet, and Polkan jumped out from under the porch in response to the noise. Servant and guard. Then Shura and Natasha realized who was sighing and puffing below. And all their fears went away.

Appendix two. SECRET MEETING OF MANAGERS

Story by picture

You see, guys, a secret meeting of the caretakers. At the top is a clock. They show 12 o'clock at night.

In the high chair is Tarakanov himself. He says:

Ugliness! For more than a month now, our crowbars and brooms have been lying in the yard under a tarp. And the room is empty... That is, it is occupied, but not by us... In general, it disappears. Can't we, the caretakers, the pride of the area, cope with clowns? Moreover, they have our man, Pomodorov, infiltrated there.

“He is no longer ours,” said the thickened Dynin. - He's already theirs!

Here the supply manager Grushin intervened:

I have a plan. Give us three days, three fire trucks and three electric welding masks.

Fine! - said Tarakanov. - Write me a statement in triplicate.

At this time the clock began to strike.

Question: If three caretakers write one application in triplicate, how many sheets of paper will be wasted?

Appendix three. VERY SHORT

That night, Aunt Thekla stroked the kitten Vaska, sitting on the porch, and looked at the star.

And I feel sorry for him, this Tarakanov. His last name is so nasty. He suffered with her all his life. My poor Tarakanchikov!

SEVENTH DAY OF CLASSES

Finally morning came. Clowns came to class. And Irina Vadimovna came, or rather flew in on her motorcycle.

Today we will have a lesson in nature,” she announced. - At the Moscow Zoo.

There's more nature there! - Pomidorov agreed.

The clowns happily went to visit striped tigers, black swans and white ice cream sellers.

Vasilisa Potapovna remained near the school. She walked in circles around the shiny motorcycle.

“Of course, it’s not pedagogical when the teaching staff rides on such rattles!” - she thought, making the first circle.

“But there’s something in it!” - she thought, making the second one.

“And who can live without a motorcycle these days?” - she decided, having completed the third.

Having made herself more comfortable, she grabbed the handles even tighter. She wanted to look at herself.

“I must be very beautiful!” - she thought.

Uncle Shakir! Do you have the biggest mirror? - Vasilisa Potapovna asked Uncle Shakir.

Will now be!

He went to the clowns' annex and took the mirror from the hanger. The mirror lay on his back and looked up. And the blue sky was reflected in it. And Aunt Thekla Parkinen looked from the kitchen into the yard.

Oh, they bring the sky! - she said.

Then Vasilisa Potapovna pressed some kind of pedal. The motorcycle beneath her growled and lurched forward.

Stop! - Vasilisa Potapovna shouted.

Whoa! - Uncle Shakir shouted with a mirror.

Only the motorcycle didn’t listen to anything. He exploded with a roar and flew out of the school gates with the teacher.

On the way, Irina Vadimovna said to the clowns:

Words, as you remember, are divided into parts. MOTHER. DAD. And the parts can also be divided. To the sounds.

What are sounds? - Natasha asked.

This is all we hear with our ears. When we close our eyes.

The clowns did everything immediately. They immediately closed their eyes. And we heard just a terrible sound: UUUUU-AAAH-RRRRRR! Because Vasilisa Potapovna on a motorcycle flew by.

The clowns got scared and ran away with their eyes closed. They jumped out onto the roadway.

A trolleybus was driving straight towards them. He will hum:

Everything on the street was mixed up. Clowns darted in front of cars like chickens. Cars honked and flew after the clowns. It’s good that the policeman whistles:

And how he lifts his wand. All movement stopped.

Irina Vadimovna began to pull out clowns from different places. Clown Sanya from the taiga ended up on a tree. Shura and Natasha dragged each other from under the nose of the trolleybus. Only Pomodorov ran proudly and calmly in front of the trolleybus.

“Now I know what sound is,” Natasha said. - This is when Shura cracks you on one side, and a cyclist hits you on the other. You can't see anything, but your ears are ringing.

“It’s not like that,” said Irina Vadimovna. - Tell me, how is your ears ringing?

3-3-3-3! It's like a fly got in there.

How was the trolleybus buzzing?

WOOOO! Comrade Pomidorov barely ran away from him.

How did the policeman whistle?

TRRRRRRRRR!

This is 33333-333, UUUUUUU and TRRRR are the sounds.

The clowns were shocked. Especially Pomodorov.

I will definitely tell my mom about this. And to the management.

A zoo appeared ahead. Irina Vadimovna said:

Now we will buy tickets and a chocolate bar for everyone. By the way, what sound does the word CHOCOLATE begin with? - she asked Natasha.

I don't want chocolate. I want a popsicle.

Fine. What sound does ESKIMO start with?

Don't know.

How does it end?

With a stick.

No,” Irina Vadimovna smiled. - Eskimo starts with the sound E and ends with the sound O.

At the zoo they looked at different animals.

This is a tiger,” said Irina Vadimovna. - When he is unhappy, he makes the sound RRR! And these are snakes. Their favorite sound is SHSHSHSHSHSH.

Then the clown Sanya shouted:

And these are wolves! In our taiga they howl - UUUUU!

The wolf in the cage was delighted and also shouted:

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU its!

Comrade Pomidorov was surprised:

When I was at my grandmother’s near Novgorod, I also heard this UUUUUUUUU! I thought it was an electric train. At that time I was still thinking: “Wow, there are so many electric trains near Novgorod!”

And the wolves kept howling: UUUU yes UUUUU!

Wild goats in a nearby paddock became restless. They screamed: EEEEEEEEE!

Then the camels and donkeys screamed, and finally the giant elephant trumpeted. At least run from the zoo.

And the clowns remembered all these sounds.

And it turns out that the zoological caretaker Kabachkov-Tykvin had been watching them for a long time.

He followed the clowns, hiding behind a mug of beer. So that Comrade Pomidorov would not recognize him. And he didn’t expose it.

Near the line for donkey rides, they almost collided nose to nose. Kabachkov dodged in time and hid among the children. He even had to ride on a small cart.

But he was on the trail again. When he saw what a disgrace Sanya the clown had caused with the wolves, he was delighted:

We jumped, my dears!.. We quickly call the police. We're taking everyone. And the building is ours!

He took out his caretaker's whistle and wanted to whistle. But…

Notice, guys, what sound does the word BUT end with?

...But at that time he stood pressed against the cage with monkeys. What you can't do at the zoo. Because the huge orangutan Zeus stretched his paw through the bars and took Kabachkov-Tykvin by the belt. With his other paw he took away the beer. I tried a little and spat it out. It's bitter.

Kabachkov began to silently struggle. Where there! Zeus held him by the waist with the strength of a crane.

At this time, the monkey Pear stuck his paw into the pumpkin pocket and pulled out the keys to the cage. She took the whistle with her other paw. So Zeus and Pear saved the clowns from the police.

And the clown tour came to the elephant house. Irina Vadimovna read:

AFRICAN ELEPHANT.

Lives in Africa. He needs three boxes of carrots a day. Five boxes of potatoes. And two boxes of oranges.

Will he really eat it all? - Natasha was amazed.

“No way,” Pomidorov answered firmly.

How many boxes are there in total? - asked the headmistress.

APPENDICES for the seventh day of classes

Application one. NOTE FROM THE NEWSPAPER “EVCHERNIY GOROD”

A story to retell

THE PEAR IS HANGING, YOU CAN'T EAT IT

This afternoon at the Moscow Zoo, for an unknown reason, unrest began among the animals. The animals began to howl and growl. First wolves, then tigers, then other predators and animals.

The caretaker of the zoo, Kabachkov-Tykvin, gaped at the noise and lost his vigilance. Then the tropical monkey Pear pulled the keys out of his pocket. She opened the lock and ran away.

Look! - people shouted. - Monkeys are running!

The monkey grabbed a hat from a retired passer-by, Yuri Kiselyov, and with this hat climbed onto an electric pole.

Kiselev climbed after her.

The monkey ran along the wires. Sparks flew. The wires are burnt out. The frightened monkey fell straight into the ice cream box. To the horror of the seller.

She grabbed four packs of popsicles on a stick and jumped into the pool with the walruses. She lay on the water and took turns biting her ice cream.

The angry pensioner continued the chase. But when he got close, Grusha put two popsicles in his hands, and he almost drowned. He had to leave the monkey and urgently eat ice cream. Moreover, he could not understand - should he pay for this popsicle? He didn't intend to buy it.

During this time, the monkey managed to swim to the shore on a walrus and climb into the office of the zoo director. There she stuffed the main seal behind her cheek and dragged away the trash basket.

Then she climbed the tallest tree. Sitting there without clothes and wearing a green hat, she threw garbage from a basket at passers-by. Mostly orange peels.

Several volunteer visitors climbed the tree. The monkey flew around them, licked the seal and put the inscription “Moscow Zoo” on the volunteers.

Having gathered on one branch, the volunteers could not stand it and were forced to fall down.

Here, finally, the caretaker Kabachkov-Redkin took action. He placed a table with delicious food under the tree. The monkey climbed down, took the seal out of his mouth and began stuffing his cheek pouches with nuts.

The seal was saved. And the African Pear disappeared outside the zoo along with the green hat.

Kabachkov-Sveklin received a reprimand.

Correspondent Zhuvachkin.

Appendix two. TOUR OF MOSCOW

Story in pictures

The motorcycle with Vasilisa Potapovna worked wonders. He spun in place like a top. I was riding upright on one rear wheel. On one front. Jumped over puddles. I easily rode up and down the stairs. Professional motorcycle racers couldn't do this.

On one street, Vasilisa Potapovna joined the escort of motorcyclists accompanying the guest of honor. They threw flowers all over her because she was driving in front.

But the motorcycle turned white again and again carried the senior teacher around the city.

And where did she go that day? She was at Bolshoi Theater- the pride of opera and ballet. And the Kremlin is the heart of Moscow. There are many ancient buildings and churches there. There is the Tsar Cannon and the Tsar Bell. (Everyone who has ever been to Moscow is familiar with this place. Many know well that it is located next to GUM. GUM is a store where everything is sold.)

Vasilisa Potapovna ran into the Tsar Bell. He looks and there is a fragment lying nearby:

Fathers! I broke it!

From the Lenin Hills she had a brilliant view of Moscow. But now it's closed. Because she was carried to the high-rise building of the University. Studying there a large number of Russian and foreign students. And they all ran away from Vasilisa Potapovna’s motorcycle in horror.

Vasilisa Potapovna will remember Komsomolskaya Square for a long time. And not because three stations gathered there. But because here, because of her, a car with sour cream ran into a car with sunflower oil. And immediately it became like a winter day. Everything white is snow and everything yellow is oil. The passengers were sliding as if on a skating rink. The trains could not start and go to all ends - north, west, south, east.

Everyone was saved by cats and dogs. They came running from all over the city and began to clean the square and lick passers-by.

U Poklonnaya Gora, where Napoleon waited in vain for the keys to Moscow, the police tried to catch Vasilisa Potapovna with a net. At the last minute, the crazy motorcycle made a full turn and... flew away. An ordinary fire engine was caught in the net. Fat Dynin jumped out and began swearing at the police.

Thank God that Vasilisa Potapovna ran out of gas and stalled. And right next to the school.

The returning clowns rolled Vasilisa Potapovna into the yard.

And we saw an elephant! - they shouted vying with each other. - And we looked at the tiger!

But Vasilisa Potapovna was not surprised by this. She saw enough of this today!..

Appendix three. ATTACK ON COMRADE POMIDOROV

That night Comrade Pomidorov was on duty at the door. He did everything as directed. And the instructions were simple - don’t let outsiders in.

If the supply managers show up, call Uncle Shakir and set Polkan on.

IN extreme cases call the police.

Tomatoes stood on the porch. It struck midnight. If someone else were in Pomidorov's place, he would have been afraid of the darkness. But the instructions didn’t talk about this. And Pomodorov was not afraid.

Suddenly a fire truck arrived. People with square faces entered the porch. And they pointed a fire hose at Comrade Pomidorov.

Hands up! Give up the premises!

Who are you?

We are bandits! Crooks!

In short, we are the underworld! - explained the eldest, the fattest.

Do you have documents proving that you are criminals? - asked Pomidorov.

We have pistols! - They lied to benefit the cause.

Pistols don’t count,” Pomidorov said. - I can take a pistol too. This doesn't mean I'm a criminal. Do you, for example, have a police certificate?

We didn't take it with us!

When you take it, then come. And so we won’t succeed.

The fire bandits with welding faces left, almost crying.

And make sure there is a stamp on the certificate! - Pomodorov shouted after them. - We have a serious matter here. And not some factory “Button”!

He stood proudly on the porch all night, like a speaker on a podium. Such an unbreakable rock. And Aunt Thekla brought him tea on a tray.

“My dear Pomidorchikov,” she said, “is completely frozen.

EIGHTH DAY OF CLASSES

On this day, everyone was ordered to come with pens, notebooks and pencils. Everyone did just that. And Pomidorov even brought a typewriter.

Vasilisa Potapovna met the clowns on the porch and checked whether they had taken everything they needed and whether their hands were clean.

Where are your pencils and notebooks? - she asked Natasha.

I forgot it in the room. Under the closet.

And I never forget anything! - Pomidorov said proudly. - Because I have everything on an elastic band. The tie is with an elastic band. - He pulled back his tie and snapped it. - The documents are on an elastic band. Even the gloves in the raincoat have elastic bands.

The clowns were happy. They began to pull objects away and click them on Pomidorov.

“Shame on you,” said Vasilisa Potapovna. - You offend your friend by slamming him with different things.

Sanya and Shura listened, and they themselves clicked and clicked.

Then the headmistress intervened:

Do you want me to show you a trick?

We want! - they shouted.

Irina Vadimovna took gloves with an elastic band from Comrade Pomidorov’s raincoat and gave one to Sanya, the other to Shura. And she told them to keep their gloves in their mouths. And she ordered them to disperse.

This is a strange activity. Nothing like it. But that’s what the trick is! Sanya and Shura moved further and further apart, the rubber band became tighter and tighter.

Ready? - asked the headmistress.

Ready! - answered the quick Sanya and released the glove. She's going to fly! How he would slap Shura in the face.

Well? - asked Irina Vadimovna. - Like?

I do not like! - Shura answered.

Do you understand what the hint is?

Got it! - Shura answered.

“I didn’t understand,” Sanya said.

Then we'll repeat it.

She gave the clowns gloves again. And again she ordered us to disperse.

Shura, are you ready?

Ready! - Shura answered.

The glove will fly! How Sanya will crack this time. Then he understood what the transparent clarity was.

No one else clapped Pomidorov. Irina Vadimovna started the lesson.

Yesterday we learned what sound is. Today I will show you how sounds can be recorded. Let's take the sound A. What words begin with it?

Watermelon! Automobile!

“I start with this sound, if you take me seriously,” said the clown Sanya.

If you take me seriously, I am Alexander.

And I am Alexander! - Shura shouted.

And I end with this sound. Because I am Natasha.

And my wife ends with this sound. Because she is Pomidorova.

Well done! Now I'll show you how this sound is recorded. This is the letter - A.

All the clowns also wrote the letter A.

Irina Vadimovna took the guitar and sang:

Everyone knows: the letter A -

The letter is very nice.

And besides, the letter A

Main in the alphabet.

Love this sign

And Andrey and Allochka.

Stick like this, stick like that,

And in the middle there is a stick.

Everyone clapped and began to sing along and draw.

Since you are so good, I’ll show you how to write the sound U. It is written with the letter “U”.

The clowns wrote down the letter "U" in their notebooks.

Now let the smartest one of you tell me - what is the difference between a letter and a sound?

Each of the clowns considered themselves the smartest, but no one knew what the difference was. And Comrade Pomidorov did not consider himself the smartest. And yet he knew the difference.

We write letters and see them with our eyes. And we hear sounds with our ears.

Well done, Comrade Pomidorov!

Then the phone rang in the teachers' room. Irina Vadimovna ran to talk. And the lesson was taught by the strict Vasilisa Potapovna.

Let's play the best children's game with you.

To football! - Sanya shouted.

“In a rubber band,” said Natasha.

In guessing thoughts,” said Shura.

In dominoes,” Pomidorov explained.

The game is called “Loading the Ship,” the teacher explained. - We need to come up with objects that we call words starting with the letter A and the letter U, and drag them onto the ship.

The clowns understood everything and started loading.

Irons! - Natasha shouted.

Great! - Vasilisa Potapovna praised. - Load it!

Bleak! Ducks! - came up with fishing and hunting Sanya.

We took it on the ship.

Is this a caretaker course? You need to take part in a big farming competition.

But we are not caretakers. We're students.

Nothing, nothing. Not all at once. Even though you are students, you were allowed to compete. You must field a team of five people with a guard dog.

Show up at the stadium.

What's the prize for the winners?

A large supply cup in the shape of a vacuum cleaner. And another personal prize - a golden broom. The winners will go to the big championship games in Rio de Janeiro. Who accepted the telephone order?

Director. Irina Vadimovna. Who gave it?

Tarakanov's deputy for sports is Sverchkov.

In the classroom, loading was in full swing.

Apricots! - Pomodorov shouted. - Pineapples! Oranges! Two boxes!

And everyone really wanted fruit. Shura went wild and started shouting fruity words indiscriminately:

Apples! Pears! Grenades! One box!

And then it began to hum and crackle. Earned it.

Stop him! - Natasha screamed. - Turn it off. Otherwise there will be an explosion!

And everyone realized that Shura would now produce the wrong grenades. Just look, a war will begin at school. But no one knew how to turn it off.

Shura clicked, and sure enough, live grenades appeared on the table. The whole box is iron. At least now go attack the enemy.

And just then Irina Vadimovna came in.

Get down! - she screamed.

Everyone collapsed on the floor.

The lesson is over! - the headmistress continued. - Don’t panic, march out of the classroom at a crawling pace!

Shura, Sanya, Natasha, Vasilisa Potapovna and Comrade Pomidorov crawled to the exit without panic. Irina Vadimovna walked behind.

But the clowns liked the game. And they continued to load the ship.

Students! Students! - Natasha said.

Directions! - continued Pomodorov.

Suddenly all the words starting with the letters U and A disappeared. The clowns rummaged through the brains, but literally nothing was found.

Hives! - Sanya suggested hesitantly.

All! - Natasha screamed. - Loading is over!

One loader dropped the hive. The bees jumped out and bit everyone terribly.

Irina Vadimovna called Uncle Shakir (he was an old front-line soldier) and asked him to do something with the grenades. Hand it over somewhere or discharge it.

Uncle Shakir took the box into the yard and buried it deep, deep. In the garden near the fence. He did this wrong.

APPENDICES for the eighth day of classes

Application one. LARGE SPORTS AND MANAGEMENT COMPETITIONS

A story to retell

Irina Vadimovna nevertheless decided to field a team to participate in the supply games. And then the clowns came to the stadium. It was noisy here. Music was playing and balloons were being sold. Huge posters hung above the stands:

THE ATHLETE MANAGER KNOWS NEITHER SADDNESS OR TEARS

MANAGERS OF ALL INSTITUTIONS, UNITE!

The competition program was as follows:

1. Sweep a path of 100 meters with a broom.

2. With the help of a dog, detain a malicious thief.

3. Find a fault in the watering machine.

Write down the missing part and fix the car.

4. Arrange a delicious table for both yourself and the judges.

And it was all like a relay race. That is, it was possible to proceed to the next type of competition only after the previous one was completed.

The competition has begun.

Ten people from different teams came out with brooms to the dusty paths. A pistol shot and the brooms started working. A cloud of dust rose. The participants rushed forward.

But Natasha is standing. Why do you think she is standing? What is she waiting for? But then her path will be the cleanest.

Of course, Sanya and Polkan began to detain the thief.

The competition took place in this order. There were ten sheets of slate lying on the stadium. The robbers (they were caretakers in disguise) took the slate and carried it into the distance. The athletes let a guard dog follow the trail. Not every dog ​​will follow a slate trail. Because it doesn't smell like sausages. But even when the dog finds the crook, try to bite him. He has slate in his hands, and he is blocked by it.

But Polkan did not bite. He ran and hit the slate sheet with his horns. The leaf collapsed and covered the hauler of building materials. And Polkan stood on top like a monument in a cultural park.

After that, Shura began to fix the watering machine. There were ten of them at the stadium. One didn't have a wheel. The other has cabins. The third has numbers. Etc.

And the sports supply managers had to run to the base, to the warehouse to order and get these things.

The car that Shura got did not have a steering wheel, that is, a steering wheel, and there were no wipers to clean the glass.

Shura got to work. He seemed lost in thought, how he began to hum... At first everything turned out wrong for him. Instead of a steering wheel, a loaf of bread appeared in the cabin. And instead of a windshield wiper blade, a real janitor with a broom appeared. Uncle Shakir.

But Shura did not calm down and started working again. Fuck! And instead of a loaf, a round cake appeared. And instead of brushes, toothbrushes appeared on the glass. It was already better than at the beginning.

Stubborn Shura did not subside. And the third time everything turned out just great! The car was fixed. And there was still cake left.

All that remained was to make a delicious table. Aunt Fekla Parkinen and Vasilisa Potapovna entered the fight.

They cut sausage, peeled vegetables and dried dishes with towels. The table is set. And as a decoration there is a chocolate round cake from a watering machine. Judges are invited.

Uncle Shakir, wearing a new wig beard, sat down at the table with them. Everyone decided that he was a great scientist.

Very tasty table! - the judges said.

And to the music, the team of clowns was awarded a big prize. Cup in the shape of a vacuum cleaner. And the clown Shura was given a personal prize for the excellent repair of the sprinkler - a golden broom.

And a team of clowns was invited to international supply games in the foreign city of Rio de Janeiro.

Appendix two. DESPERATE SLEDGE ON DISTANCE

It was night. The moon was shining. It doesn't matter though. On the porch of the school stood the clown Sanya and Uncle Shakir in a wig beard. Sanya was on duty, and Shakir came to smoke.

Uncle Shakir found himself in a difficult situation. He really liked his wig beard and wanted to wear it. But his own old beard was growing strongly, and he did not know where to put it.

He consulted with Sanya all the time. And I showed him this and that.

Suddenly, at twelve o'clock at night, three strangers burst into the gate.

“Here,” the guys said, “they brought it.”

What did they bring? - Sanya asked.

They brought documents that we were swindlers. Bandits. Certificates from your last place of work.

What for?

And then! Give up the premises!

Hollow! - said Uncle Shakir. - Uzigid bandids also have a revolver and a knife. Where's your knife?

“The knife is a formality,” said the chief fat robber impudently. - You can still cut yourself with a knife.

Go away, hole! - Uncle Shakir ordered.

How do you leave? - the crooks shouted. - Give up the premises. Otherwise we'll call the police.

We'll call the police! - Sanya said.

We don't call anyone. We'll make them ourselves! - said Uncle Shakir.

Then the crooks began to attack. One grabbed Uncle Shakir by the beard and pulled. He wanted to drag his uncle off the porch. And the beard - once again! - and remained in his hands. And he and his beard flew down together. Straight to Polkan's horns.

Uncle Shakir got angry. How to attack two other bandits. Sanya will help him so much! Polkan will give you a kick! The crooks will scream:

AHHHHHH!

WOOOOOO!

How they will run! The inquiries flew in different directions. Like swallows. One bandit ran into a fence in the dark, broke it and jumped out into the street. The other two are behind him. The thickest one got stuck in the hole. Polkan had to run up and help.

The rest of the night passed quietly.

Appendix three. FIRST DICTANT!

Guys! Now you must take a pen or pencil and write down my story. About the heroic Sanya. Not the whole story, but the main part of it. How the bandits shouted as they ran away from the school.

It sounds like this:

A-A-A-A-A-A-A!

WOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Have you recorded it? Well done boys! I give you five.

NINTH DAY OF CLASSES

In the morning, Irina Vadimovna was the first to arrive at the school. She saw a round hole and said:

Pomidorov came and also said:

Shura, Sanya and Natasha rushed from the dormitory building and also shouted:

And Vasilisa Potapovna even said this:

Oh-oh-oh-me!

Well done! You all read this hole correctly. The letter O is written with it. Someone is helping us study it.

Sanya explained who these helpers were:

At night, unknown people arrived in a fire truck. With papers. They wanted to take our school away. But Polkan gave it to them so much that they made this letter in the fence from a running start.

These are my crooks,” said Pomidorov. - They didn’t have documents last time. It was I who sent them for the papers.

These are the bandits of Comrade Tarakanov,” said Irina Vadimovna. - They'll take our school away any minute now. Uncle Shakir, what are you doing?

Uncle Shakir was making something in the corner with a hammer and a plane.

I make cheesecakes.

The starlings have already flown away.

The Sykvortsy flew away, the Shinigiri arrived.

Put down your birdhouses, uncle, and please fill up the hole in the fence.

Uncle Shakir began to saw and make noise. The clowns began to get distracted.

Then Irina Vadimovna said:

While Uncle Shakir is working, we will go around the city and look for the letters O. Whoever notices the letter, let him shout it. He will be given candy as a reward.

The first to see the letter O was Sanya the clown. Even two.

Look, the bus with the letters O is coming.

They gave him two candies.

Natasha saw a huge observation wheel with booths and screamed:

Look what a big O I see. Give me a kilogram of sweets.

She was also given one piece of candy.

Clown Shura removed the cover of the water supply hatch:

Look. I also have the letter O. Look how heavy it is.

Everyone began to look at this letter. Except for Comrade Pomidorov. Because he fell into this very hatch.

Oh! - Natasha screamed. - Comrade Pomodorov is sitting in the letter O! Give me some candy soon.

But the candy was not given to her, but to Comrade Pomidorov himself. Because he was the only one who was not covered in candy.

And Natasha asked:

Irina Vadimovna, explain to me the mysterious secret. Why is our street named after the grandmother of cosmonaut Anton Semenov?

And Irina Vadimovna told.

There once lived a pilot. The famous Anton Semenov. He did miracles on his plane. Could fly both in the sky and in the water, like Submarine. He could fly under a bridge and land his car on the roof of a moving bus.

He knew how to make a "dead loop". This is when the plane writes a large letter O in the sky. And while the plane was flying upside down, Anton Semenov opened the cockpit hood and jumped down. And the most amazing thing is that he knew how to get exactly into his cockpit, into his pilot’s seat, while the plane was exiting the loop. At the lowest point of the celestial letter O.

Then he was in the cosmonaut corps. And he flew the most in space.

And the command decided to name one of the city streets in honor of such a skilled pilot.

The decision was approved. We prepared signs. The people were called. Music was playing. And then one famous journalist Zhuvachkin asked Anton:

Tell me, to whom do you owe your success?

The journalist expected Semyonov to say something special - about the team, about his native school, but he said:

I owe all my successes to my grandmother Vera Petrovna.

Here you go! - the press got excited. - Is it possible?

It still happens! - Anton answered. And he told the exciting truth.

At the beginning of his childhood he was a big quitter, lazy and lazy. I didn’t want to wash my face, do exercises or study homework. His grandmother forced him to do all this. She got up with him, jumped rope, washed and dried herself with ice water. I studied homework and drew with him. And she sculpted from plasticine simply better than anyone in the class.

When he graduated from school, Vera Petrovna persuaded him to go to the aviation institute. She also studied military equipment, went skiing, shot a gun, jumped with a parachute.

In the end, he learned to be neat, combed and educated throughout his life. Even when he flew in space for many days, he thought about his grandmother all the time. He was very tired, he had little strength left, but he returned to earth neat, shaved, in a washed shirt and ironed trousers.

Hooray! - people shouted after listening to the story. - Long live Anton Semenov’s grandmother!

And the main boss said:

Our grandmothers are the best in the world. They raise real heroes. I simply bow to this progressive old lady.

And the famous journalist Zhuvachkin suggested:

Why not name this street after her? Is she like that?

Everyone agreed. Since then, the street has been called NAMED AFTER THE GRANDMOTHER OF COSMONAUT ANTON SEMENOV.

The clowns remembered their grandmothers and sighed.

And they decided that when they learned to write, they would definitely write warm letters to their grandmothers.

When the clowns returned from their walk, Irina Vadimovna gave them homework:

You already know the sound O and the letter O. And there is also the sound Y and the letter Y. It is written like this: Y. I ask you to find words that begin with this sound. If you don’t find such words, come up with words so that Y is at the end. And then you will be GOOD!

APPENDICES for the ninth day of classes

Application one. THE INQUIREMENTS OF COMRADE TARAKANOV

A story to retell

Comrade Tarakanov scolded the caretaker with all the strength of his talent:

Ugliness! Nightmare! Horror! Horrible! Where is the big housekeeper's cup in the shape of a vacuum cleaner? Where is the golden broom? Dozens of skilled craftsmen cannot defeat four clueless clowns and two teachers!

There’s only one teacher there,” corrected fat Dynin. - And the second teacher.

Especially! I'll give you five minutes to think about it. Let everyone come up with their own plan to capture the building.

...What is five minutes? Is this a lot or a little? One page later there will be a second application. And then you guys will know everything...

...The construction manager Grushin was the first to take the floor:

While the number of caretakers is increasing throughout the country, our building was taken away and we have nowhere to store brooms. They are under the tarp and may sprout. I suggest renting a plane and parachuting onto the school.

To this, the supply manager Dynin objected:

Never. The wind may rise and we will be carried away to the zoo to the lions. And there are lions behind barbed wire, almost as if they were free. You can tear your pants or even disappear.

How to be?

Or maybe announce a military alert on the radio,” Kabachkov suggested. - They will hide in the basement. And we calmly pick up school.

But Comrade Dynin objected again:

I don’t play invaders... They’ll beat me up!

Tarakanov got angry:

You don't like everything. And what do you suggest?

We must do what smart people did during the siege of cities. We went through this in second grade.

What did you go through during the siege of cities?

They were digging tunnels.

Who is behind this proposal? - Tarakanov asked solemnly.

Everyone agreed with the undermining.

Comrade Trushin, prepare the equipment for digging. And please highlight the people.

What if passers-by ask what we are digging for?

You say - an underground passage for the population. For the holiday.

For what holiday? - Grushin was surprised.

For our main holiday. For Supply Manager's Day.

At this point the meeting adjourned. And the school began to be in dire danger.

Appendix two. WHAT IS FIVE MINUTES

Guys! Take the saucer. Turn it upside down and place it on a piece of paper. If there is no paper, don’t be sad, draw on the tablecloth. Take a pencil and trace the saucer. You will get a circle. If you don't have a pencil, take it oil paints or shoe polish.

Now divide the circle into four equal parts. Remember how they divided the pie for the Queen of England? And divide each part with shoe polish into three more.

How cute it turned out. Mom's tablecloth is unrecognizable. But we almost got a clock. You just need to make the arrows.

If you don't know how to draw them, carefully remove them from the wall clock. Dad will interject later.

We've got a clock. When one arrow, a large one, passes one division, five minutes will pass.

Is this a lot or a little? You can boil an egg in five minutes. View half animated film. Turn the apartment upside down. Quarrel with a friend.

Is it possible to make peace in five minutes? Clean the apartment? I'm afraid not. In general, it is much easier to break, quarrel, and overturn than to repair, clean up, and make peace.

TENTH DAY OF CLASSES

Construction vehicles were raging near the school in the morning.

Irina Vadimovna asked through the roar:

How many of you came up with words that start with Y?

The clowns were silent.

Be silent correctly,” said Irina Vadimovna. - There are no such words. Name the words where Y is at the end.

Bulldozers! - said Pomidorov, looking out the window.

Tractors! - Sanya supported him.

Underground passages! - Natasha said.

Fine. Now name the words with the Y sound in the middle.

Comrade Pomidorov, without looking up from the window, began to say:

Comrade D-Y-nin, comrade Kabachkov-T-Y-quin.

What do zucchini and pumpkins have to do with it?

These are such caretakers. And in general there are no workers here at the construction site. Only disguised caretakers. Comrade Tarakanov himself is in charge... or rather, in charge.

They were up to something again. But let's not get distracted. I want to introduce you to one good letter. For this I need an assistant. Come on, Sanya, invite your Polkan here.

Sanya leaned out the window and shouted to the whole street:

Polkan, come to me!

Polkan stopped chewing grass, raised his head and ran to the front door. Rogami opened it, clicked across the parquet floor and entered the classroom.

Me-me-me! - Polkan shouted.

You hear the syllable ME performed by Polkan. If Polkan were a guard cow, he would have told MU. Both begin with the sound M. Come on, Polkan, repeat your ME.

Me-me-me! - Polkan shouted. And from somewhere below, from under the porch, a faint “Me-me-me” was also heard.

What's this? - Natasha screamed. - Someone is laughing at our Polkan. Someone is teasing him.

Me-me-me! - Polkan shouted again.

“Me-me-me!” - came from below.

Maybe it's an echo? - asked Shura. And he shouted: - Y-Y-Y!

But from below I still heard “Me-me-me!”

Sanya was already on the street at that time. He ducked under the porch. Soon he came running back, holding a small goat in his hands.

The headmistress was so surprised that she almost buzzed in the manner of Shura.

Who is this?

Son of Polkan,” Sanya announced.

This is our day! - Irina Vadimovna said cheerfully. - Call Aunt Thekla here.

We ran for our aunt.

“Congratulations,” said the headmistress. - Meet Polkan’s son. Keep this creature warm.

Aunt Thekla wrapped the creature in an Orenburg down scarf. Moreover, the creature managed to bite off a piece of the scarf. And Irina Vadimovna took the lesson further.

The sound M, with which the word ME begins, is written like this: with the letter M. The words MOM, SOAP, MILK begin with this letter.

I saw this letter on the street at the entrance to the subway! - Natasha informed everyone.

What does the letter M look like?

On the broken bench! - Sanya said.

And everyone imagined the bench on which the elephant sat.

“And it also looks like a swing,” Natasha said.

And exactly. The clowns presented two columns, and between them a board on strings.

And now it will be an important event! - the headmistress said solemnly. - We will write down the first syllable in our lives. Or maybe even the first word. First we write the letter M, then A. We get MA.

If you write MA twice in a row, you get MAMA! - fast Natasha shouted joyfully.

And Shura, and Sanya, and Comrade Pomidorov solemnly wrote the word MOTHER.

Congratulations! - said Irina Vadimovna. - You wrote the first word in your life.

“And I can write a second one,” Shura said. - This is the word “MUMU”. That's what the candies are called.

Immediately all the clowns wanted candy. And Shura too. It hummed.

Now something will happen! - Natasha whispered.

“Cow,” Pomidorov decided.

Irina Vadimovna really wanted to turn off Shura or at least distract her. But she didn't know how to do it.

Clap! Shura worked.

There was no cow. There were no sweets. There was a small, dirty dog.

I don't understand anything! - said Shura.

And I also cannot explain this natural phenomenon,” said Irina Vadimovna.

They called Valisisa Potapovna. She is a teacher with extensive experience.

Vasilisa Potapovna thought, and then understood everything.

This student was once read the story “Mumu” ​​by the writer I. Turgenev. The student forgot about it. And now he doesn’t even remember what it was about. But in the corners of his memory, in the corners of his head, fragments of knowledge lingered. That is, information. And when he was thinking about Mumu sweets, the corners slipped him a half-forgotten dog.

Natasha looked at her brother-in-law's head with respect:

It's round. Where are the corners?

Here Shura agreed with everything. He shouted:

Exactly, exactly this story was read to me. There was also a janitor, Uncle Shakir.

Not Shakir, but Gerasim,” corrected Vasilisa Potapovna.

That’s right, that’s right,” agreed Shura. - He still spoke poorly.

“You see, everything has been explained,” said Irina Vadimovna.

At this joyful moment Sanya asked:

Irina Vadimovna, to write a letter, how many words do you need to know?

At least ten.

So I can't text yet?

With that girl from Ogonyok! Remember? You even said that you know where she lives.

Then Irina Vadimovna said to the clowns:

Now you will write the word MOTHER three times in a row. And as a reward, I will take you to an interesting place. To the Tretyakov Gallery.

The clowns shouted:

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

And they wrote: MOM, MOM, MOM and MUMU, MUMU, MUMU.

It turns out that learning was interesting and fun. Remember this, guys. Only Pomidorov asked for time off:

I have repeatedly visited this cultural center as part of supply delegations. I'd rather watch this construction site. She seems suspicious to me. Why is there an underground passage needed here when there is a courtyard and no street.

APPENDICES for the tenth day of classes

Application one. LECTURE-TOUR OF THE TRETYAKOV GALLERY

The Tretyakov Gallery is such a museum. Paintings by Russian artists are collected here.

They hang on the walls in beautiful rooms. People walk and look at them. No one makes noise or runs around. Even our clowns. Irina Vadimovna slowly explains:

Here is a painting by the artist Vasnetsov “Bogatyrs”. It depicts ancient warriors. They protect the border from various raids.

So they are border guards?

Perhaps.

Why are they without a dog?

There were no border dogs back then. And there were no spies. At that time, entire detachments or even armies of nomads violated the border. They began to ruin the country. And the task of the heroes was not to detain the violators, but to quickly gallop to the city to their army and warn of the danger...

It seems to me that the average hero is similar to Comrade Pomidorov,” said Natasha.

Yes,” agreed Irina Vadimovna. - Only he should have a seal hanging instead of a club.

Whose picture is this? - asked the shy Shura.

This is very famous picture"The Rooks Have Arrived". Artist Savrasov. On the one hand, she is a little sad, and on the other, she is all bright.

“Here in Kasimov,” said Shura, “it’s also very sad in the spring.” And there is no club.

Tell me, Sanya, what do you feel when you see this picture?

That we have a club.

“And I’m starting to shiver a little,” Natasha said. - And I want to get a new raincoat out of the closet. Because it's spring.

You and I probably understand painting in the same way,” said Irina Vadimovna. - Because I also want to roll out the bike. And buy sneakers.

Irina Vadimovna, asked Sanya, why do you need art when you have a camera? And everything can be photographed.

How do you photograph antiquity? Old time. For example, heroes?

I'll invite artists. I'll put you on the horses and take a photo.

Let's say. And there is such a famous painting “The Death of Pompeii”. There, stones are falling from the sky. Buildings are collapsing. So, will we stage artists there too?

It won't work.

Right. It won't work. The artist often conveys his mood with his paintings. Draws special lighting. Which doesn't happen in life. He can make the same landscape both sad and cheerful. Both summer and winter. Both light and dark. Will the photographer block the sun?

The clowns began to think about all this.

Here's another picture. Artist Kramskoy. "Unknown."

Clown Sanya stopped and couldn’t believe his eyes. This is the girl from Ogonyok. With whom he wanted to correspond. He went to school because of her. Taiga abandoned. And she's hanging here.

What's this? An old painting? - Sanya asked. And his voice trembled, like Polkan’s or little Polkanchik’s.

“Ancient,” the headmistress honestly admitted.

And the girl is old? Is there no such thing now?

I think no.

Sanya was terribly saddened. Irina Vadimovna asked:

Well, now you won’t learn to read and write?

I'll answer you tomorrow...

Everyone was in a rather sad mood. Like in the painting of the great Russian artist Savrasov.

Appendix two. NOTE FROM THE NEWSPAPER “EVCHERNIY GOROD”

A story to retell

FLOATING MANAGERS

Today, an interesting event took place on the street named after the grandmother of cosmonaut Anton Semenov.

Sun was shining. A group of construction workers were enthusiastically building the crossing.

Suddenly, under the fence of one building, the workers came across an iron barrier. It was either a beam or a metal container. In other words, a box.

Builder Grushin immediately brought a gas welder, on which the builders of a neighboring house were cooking soup, and began to cut a hole in the box with fire.

The metal began to hiss and then gradually explode. There were grenades in the box.

Guard! - shouted the heroic builders.

And as one they all took refuge in the basement of a neighboring house.

And the fire was raging above the passage. And the sky was dotted with fragments and flying gas welding cylinders. It was like a festive fireworks display.

A pit has formed at the construction site. It filled with water from a nearby spring. It turned out to be a pond.

This pond will be a decoration of the city! - said the chief caretaker of the district, Comrade Tarakanov. - Pupils from the supply school will be taught to swim here. They will not only work well, but also dive and swim perfectly.

No, it’s not in vain that popular words go around:

A CONSTRUCTION WORKER MEANS A WELL DONE.

Correspondent Zhuvachkin

Appendix three. STORY BY PICTURE

Here, guys, is a living corner of the school. Aunt Thekla Parkinen went to feed the animals. She was carrying another glass of tea for Comrade Pomidorov and sausages for Uncle Shakir.

Then grenades began to explode. Aunt Thekla got scared and mixed everything up. Hay for the kid, worms for the fish, nuts for the squirrel, sausages for Shakir, tea for Pomidorov and watermelon rinds for Polkan.

Find her mistakes. And feed everyone properly.

ELEVENTH DAY OF CLASSES

The eleventh day was very sad. Clown Sanya has disappeared.

Irina Vadimovna wandered around the city on a motorcycle, looking for him.

The lesson was taught by the senior teacher.

Vasilisa Potapovna said:

Dear students! Now I will introduce you to the sound N. It is written like this: N. This is the letter N. What does it look like? She looks like... she looks like...

For two guys who are carrying a basin! - Natasha said quickly.

Where did they get it?

They dragged me away from the can factory.

This is not pedagogical,” said Vasilisa Potapovna. - I don’t agree with this.

This letter looks like two advanced construction workers carrying an advanced stretcher! - Pomidorov corrected Natasha.

“This is a different matter,” Vasilisa Potapovna was delighted. But then she became wary. - And they didn’t... not... by chance...

No, of course not,” Pomidorov reassured her. - Why do they need them?

That's good. Now let’s add to these builders the letters we know: A, O, U, Y. What will happen?

ON, BUT, WELL, US! - Natasha said.

And Pomidorov opened the typewriter and also scribbled:

ON, BUT, WELL, US.

Vasilisa Potapovna was happy.

Now, students, let’s write down the letter D. This letter represents the sound D.

The clowns recorded D. And suddenly there was a crash.

What is this? - asked Shura.

“It’s my brain that’s cracking,” answered Vasilisa Potapovna. - I just can’t figure out what the letter D looks like.

On a boat with a sail at sea! - Natasha screamed.

For an old hat, too,” said Pomidorov. - Draw a face under it and believe it.

And also on the roof of the house,” Shura said. - If the house itself is in the fog.

Vasilisa Potapovna happily agreed.

And now,” she shouted, “let’s put the letters A, O, U, Y against D!”

The students “leaned in.” They came out with: YES, DO, DU, DU. Vasilisa Potapovna should live and be happy. And her brain is cracking again.

Why are you chattering again? - asked Comrade Pomidorov.

“I don’t know,” the teacher answered.

“It’s not her who’s cracking,” said Natasha. - And here is the citizen in the green hat who is on the branch.

Natasha, Pomidorov and Shura rushed to the window. And sure enough, a citizen in a fur coat and a green hat was sitting on a branch. And it crackled.

Yes, this is not a citizen. This is the monkey Pear! - Pomidorov explained. - She escaped from the zoo. I read about her in the newspaper.

Why is it cracking?

Because she has a police whistle behind her cheek. She stole it.

Let’s lure her,” Natasha suggested.

The clowns began to show the monkey candies, sandwiches, and pencils. But the monkey was cunning. She sat on a tree and waited for all this delicious food to be away from the clowns and closer to her. Pear had been caught many times, and she knew well how it was done.

Then Natasha said:

I came up with an idea. Let's get everything tasty here. Especially if there are nuts. She ran downstairs to Uncle Shakir and brought a birdhouse from his workshop. Natasha poured nuts into the birdhouse and threw it to Grusha. The monkey caught the birdhouse. She put her paw into him. She grabbed the nuts in her fist and pulled her paw out of the birdhouse. It drags, but the fist won’t let go. But Grusha doesn’t want to unclench his paw - so as not to let the nuts out.

Then Shura ran and brought another birdhouse. They also poured nuts into it and threw it to the rattling monkey.

She grabbed it again, put her second paw in, but again couldn’t pull it out.

“Oh,” Natasha said. - She looks like a boxer. Only instead of gloves there are birdhouses.

And they ran downstairs again and brought another birdhouse. They abandoned him again. The pear caught him and stuck his third paw behind the nuts... But he couldn’t pull him out.

Pomidorov thought and said:

There is such a famous fable “The Monkey and the Glasses”. It was invented by the fabulist Comrade Krylov. I’ll soon write a fable too: “The monkey and the birdhouses.” “In old age the monkey became weak with birdhouses...”

And Pear is holding on to the branch with his last paw. There was nothing to do, we rushed for the fourth birdhouse.

But she won't be able to run! - says Vasilisa Potapovna. - She'll fall.

“And look down,” Shura answered.

Vasilisa Potapovna looked. There is a pond below the branches. The day is just warm...

They threw her a fourth birdhouse. She grabs it! And rather stick your paw in. It's a mess. All the paws have birdhouses, but this one does not.

We called the zoo.

Take your fool. It interferes with people's learning.

Soon the car arrived. And in it Kabachkov-Tykvin. He put Pear in a bag. And he just stares with his eyes.

“I,” he says, “are obliged to give you a bonus for the monkey.” One hundred rubles. Let one of yours, preferably this one,” he pointed to Shura, “come tomorrow to the vacant lot near the zoo.” And we will... settle accounts with him.

A cunning plan to capture Shura, and then the school, matured in the head of the insidious Kabachkov-Tykvin.

He chose Shura because Shura was the frailest. After all, everyone knows that Shura watched a lot of TV and never did physical exercise. Then Pear leaned out of the bag and how he cracked Kabachkov with a boxing birdhouse. For some reason she didn’t like this Kabachkov.

APPENDICES for the eleventh day of classes

Application one. A SONG ABOUT SYLLABLE REPLACEMENT

Guys! You already know that syllables can make a word. And also, you remember, if you change words in a sentence, you get rubbish.

Remember the song about announcements? What happens if the syllables in words are reversed?

Let's take the simplest poem. About mom:

Here we see ma-moo.

And ma-we-we-lo.

Ma-ma can-e-t-ra-mu,

Something would be clean.

What if suddenly

Replace all parts

It's okay, you and me

Let's not understand:

Here we are dim-wi mu-ma.

And we have lo-we.

Ma-ma et-mo mu-ra,

It would be something.

Appendix two. A STORY TO RETELL

Guys! Read this statement. And then try to retell it.

To the Chief Superintendent of the District Council

Comrade TARAKANOV

from the Zoo caretaker

Comrade KABACHKOVA-TYKVINA

STATEMENT

Comrade Tarakanov! Native!

I declare to you that we can steal the cleaver of one. That is, a clown. This clown will come to us for a prize in a vacant lot.

We put him in a bag. And we take it away. And then we tell them to give us the school, otherwise we won’t give up their cleaver. That is, a clown.

Written on Thursday.

Appendix three. ABOUT AUNT THEKLA

Aunt Thekla Parkinen was very worried about Sanya:

He doesn't eat anything, so he's gone. If I were fat, I would never get lost.

She fed the clowns lunch. I took pies with jam in a handkerchief and went to the city radio.

Where are you going? - they asked her at the entrance.

To the main boss.

And who are you?

Aunt Thekla. Auntie me.

The watchman picked up the phone and said:

Then my aunt arrived before our boss.

And there they thought that our boss’s aunt had arrived and shouted:

Skip immediately.

And Aunt Thekla walked by with her pies.

What do you need? - asked the boss.

Our clown Sanya is lost. Let them find him... And these are pies!

“Don’t make me laugh,” said the boss. - Africa worries me. There's a revolution in America. I have a new breed of cows bred in Kostroma. I have a reduction in concrete prices. And you and the clown. - But he became interested in pies: - With jam?

With jam. And I always pay for the radio.

Well, judge for yourself, what is more important, the fire in Japan or Sanya?

It's hot in France. People go to work in shorts... Or Sanya?

Five million blacks walk around Africa without work... Or is it your clown?

Do they pay for the radio?

At this point the boss couldn’t stand it and slammed his fist on the table. And there was a pie on the table. With jam. It kind of splashes.

The radio commander pressed some button, and immediately two of these... well, sort of athletes ran into the office.

Take this aunt from me! - the boss shouted. - It’s impossible to work!

The athletes picked up Aunt Thekla and carried her.

He doesn’t eat anything,” Aunt Thekla told them about the boss, “so he’s angry.” All nervous.

The boss heard these words:

That's what. Call the police...

Don’t... - Auntie screamed tragically. - Not this!

- ...to the police. And let them find Sanya for her. Tell me that I insisted... And asked!

TWELFTH DAY OF CLASSES

The next day, as soon as the clowns sat down for exercise, a policeman entered. Sanya the clown walked in front of him, head down.

Everyone was happy. They rushed to kiss Sanya and the policeman.

Ours,” answered Irina Vadimovna. -Did he do something?

On the fence he wrote... Words...

“Not words, but letters,” Sanya shook his head. - We don’t know how to write words.

“We can,” Natasha objected. - For example, the word MOTHER.

What did you, Sanya, write on the fence? - asked the headmistress.

YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! And one more thing: AU! AU! AU! AU!

“Everything is clear,” said Irina Vadimovna. And she smiled sadly - he wrote UA! Because he is suffering. After all, this is how children always cry: “Wow! Wow! And he wrote AU because he was looking. Calling. After all, people, if they are lost, always call each other: “Ay! Aw!” Is it clear to you?

Why is he suffering? - the policeman asked.

A girl he knew has disappeared,” Natasha explained. - With whom he wanted to be friends. He says: life is not good for me now. Now I'll jump into the well.

“Dear comrade,” the foreman shook his head. - Is life better in a well?

“It’s worse,” Pomidorov explained to him. - It's wet and cold there.

If a girl disappears, you shouldn't jump into wells. We need to contact the police.

He took out a notepad.

The name of? How many years? Where was you born?

“I don’t know,” answered Sanya.

You don’t know, but you want to live in a well. Maybe you have a photo?

Here, look.

“Beautiful girl,” the policeman said thoughtfully. - I saw her somewhere... Well, that's it. If your girlfriend doesn't show up, come see us. We will reproduce this photo. We'll hang the portraits around the city. So, they say, and so, a man disappeared. If you know where he is, please report his location. Our population is good, they will find her in no time. There will be order.

He patted Sanya on the shoulder:

And let's do without these UA! Your beauty will be found. There will be complete order.

The good policeman went to his police station.

Irina Vadimovna says:

Now our guest said the word ORDER. What sound does it start with?

From the sound of the software,” answered Sanya.

No. From the sound P. Where can we hear such a sound?

“In porridge,” said Natasha. - When the porridge puffs, it does this: P-P-P-P-P.

“And hedgehogs in the forest puff when they’re angry,” said a more or less revived Sanya.

Irina Vadimovna took the chalk.

And this sound is written like this: P. This is the letter P. What does it look like?

To the football goal! - Sanya shouted, completely alive.

Then Shura raised his head to the sky and said:

I feel like something is about to happen.

And sure enough, Aunt Thekla entered the class.

And I P-prepared you a P-gift. P-pies. With P-jam. P-please. G-get it.

The pies lay on a tray in the shape of the letter P.

“Tasty letter,” the clowns decided.

Now let’s try to connect it with other letters,” said Irina Vadimovna, “with the letters A, O, U, Y.”

If you combine it with the letter A, it becomes PA! - Natasha screamed. - This happens in dancing. And if you connect it twice, it will be PAPA.

“And I’ll connect it with the letter O,” Shura decided. - There will be software. - If you take two POs, you get POPO. There is a famous clown like this, Oleg Popov. I wrote almost the entire thing. Only at the end some sound gets in the way. I don't know how to write it...

The sound that bothers you is the sound V. It is written like this: V. Do you remember?

Certainly. He looks like glasses. My mom has these.

But the main thing is this,” continued Irina Vadimovna, “if you don’t know how to write a sound, don’t be sad. Put a cross. Here's a +. You want to write POPOV, but you don’t know how to write the letter B. Write it like this: POPO+.

Here Natasha will be so happy:

Oh, I can write something like this with this cross! And the word PAR. Like this: PA+. And the word PAWS. Here it is +APA.

The clowns got excited - you can't stop them. Sanya connected the letter P with the letter U. It turned out PU. I thought about it and added PU.

This is the word I came up with.

“But there is no such word,” the teacher objected. - We never say such a word.

But my gun talks. When I shoot from two barrels: PU-PU.

And Shura connected P with the letter Y. And he wrote PY +.

What does it mean? - asked Irina Vadimovna.

I think the word is PIG! - said Pomidorov. - This is how Comrade Dynin breathes when the elevator doesn’t work.

And the kettle breathes like that too! - said Aunt Thekla.

This word is PYR! - Shura finally explained.

There is no such word! - Natasha objected.

Why not! I have heard many times: “THE TYR-TYR - eight holes!”

“Now it’s a break,” said Irina Vadimovna. - Rest, finish your pies. And then we will study the sound Sh.

The clowns went into the corridor.

“I know,” said Comrade Pomidorov, “there are different Sh. There is the Minskoe Sh. There is the Yaroslavskoe Sh. I have seen it many times.

Here even Aunt Thekla with the tray laughed:

When the break ended, Irina Vadimovna said:

The sound Ш is written like this: Ш. What does it look like.

On a broken comb! - Natasha said.

What words start with it?

The word is SHURA,” said Shura. - AND CHOCOLATE.

CHAMPIGNONS, - Natasha came up with. - HUTS, SCARFS.

“Let’s load the ship with the letter Sh,” suggested Comrade Pomidorov. - I will fulfill the plan faster than anyone else.

“We’d rather play another game,” said the teacher. - Let everyone find an object that is denoted by a word starting with the letter Sh. Whoever finds the most objects wins.

Hooray! - the clowns shouted. And they ran straight from the spot to look for it. There was no one there for ten minutes. Then the clowns began to return with their “catch.” Sanya came first.

Here,” he said, “is hunting chocolate.” And this is a cutlet named Sh-nitzel.

He was given two points.

Then Natasha came and brought a dog on a rope.

This is Shabaka Sarik. That is, the dog Sharik. Give me two points.

Why two?

Because she just ate Sanya’s schnitzel.

Sanya immediately shouted:

What's happened? Can't you bring a study guide?! Because of you I lost a point!

He ran away to get more glasses. He comes running and untwists the water hose. And on his head he has a fireman's helmet.

Uncle Shakir came running after Sanya into the classroom:

So I'll kick your ears. Why are you touching property?

He even managed to pull Sanya's ear. And then Sanya shouted:

And I get a point for Shakir. And for Shakir.

And although Shakir left, Sanya still got three points!! He is screaming:

I am a winner!

Let’s wait for Comrade Pomidorov and Shura,” said Irina Vadimovna.

Comrade Pomidorov just comes in and brings in the old lady. But the old lady resists. Comrade Pomidorov says:

Here's an old lady. Shakirny grandmother. This is Shuba. This hat.

He got three points.

Clown Sanya was terribly surprised. And he asked Irina Vadimovna:

People usually say “gorgeous grandma.” And he says “shakirnaya”. This is wrong!

Right! This is Shakirna Grandma. “Uncle Shakir’s grandmother,” the headmistress explained. - She came to visit.

Finally, sad Shura arrived. Completely empty.

He feels good,” Natasha said. - He will do whatever he wants for himself.

Things aren't going well for me today. It's the other way around.

How is it the other way around?

And so, so... Just don’t laugh... Whatever I say in Sh, everything disappears. Well, I'll say CHOCOLATE. All. He is not here. You won't find it in any stall.

Why in the stall? - Sanya said. - I had it in my pocket. Let's see now.

The pocket was empty.

Guard! Everything is lost! I'd rather eat it.

A cap! - said Shura. And immediately Shakirna’s grandmother’s hat disappeared from her head.

Fathers! - Grandma screamed. - The hat is missing! Call my grandson Shakir soon!!

Shakir! - everyone shouted. And Shura wanted to scream. But Natasha rushed over and covered his mouth.

Oh, Irina Vadimovna, now we will be left without a watchman! Let him say something else.

Shura looked around and said: PANTS!

And all the clowns were left in their underpants. It's like they're athletes.

Hold me! - said Shura. - Otherwise everything starting with the letter SH will be lost! They quickly wrapped a jacket around his head so that he would not look at anything or say anything.

And the headmistress told the clowns to write different syllables with the letter Sh.

And everyone wrote: SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI, SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI. And the clown Shura sat on the sidelines.

Why don’t you write SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI? - asked Irina Vadimovna.

And I write SHA, SHO, SHU, SHY,” Shura answered. - I'm typing on a typewriter.

But how? How do you type SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI when you are sitting in the corner? And all wrapped up.

So what? And sitting in the corner you can type SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI. By typewriter. Look here.

And everyone saw him thinking, and the machine started knocking on its own:

SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI... SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI... SHA, SHO, SHU, SHI.

Well done! - said Irina Vadimovna - Just not a person. Telegraph.

Can you type the word BALL? - Natasha asked.

“I can,” Shura answered. And then the machine started knocking: SHA+...

You are our pride! You are the best student! - said Irina Vadimovna.

APPENDICES for the twelfth day of classes

Application one. ARE WE SAYING CORRECTLY? AND IF IT IS WRONG - WHY?

After the lesson, the clown Sanya approached Irina Vadimovna.

Irina Vadimovna, you said that there are no words starting with the letter Y. And Uncle Shakir said: why are you touching PROPERTY? So there are words starting with the letter Y?

You see, Sanya,” the headmistress answered, “Uncle Shakir’s native language is Tatar.” This language has sounds that are not found in Russian. But it is difficult for him to pronounce some sounds of the Russian language. And instead of the word PROPERTY, he says PROPERTY. He wants to say GAME, but he comes up with GAME.

“I understood everything,” Sanya said. - I also know that there are children who cannot say R, they say L. Instead of HORN they say SPOONS. Instead of RED they say SKI.

There are such children. Some people sound sick. They need to go to special doctors - speech therapists. These doctors are very funny. They have a lot interesting books. And there is no need to be afraid of them.

Appendix two. AN INCIDENT IN A VACATION

Clown Shura took the money bag and went to the vacant lot near the zoo to receive a prize for the monkey Pear.

It was quiet. And unnoticed, three people approached him with one bag.

Hello! - said Shura.

“Hello,” they answered and stuffed him into the bag. As if it was not Shura, but a potato.

At first everything was fine, only the bag was twitching. Then suddenly the kidnappers’ trousers disappeared right on the street. That is, pants. The kidnappers were left in their shorts. They turned into potato-sack athletes.

Of course, these were not athletes. These were supply managers - Comrade Dynin, Comrade Kabachkov-Tykvin and Comrade Grushin from the same construction organization.

They dragged the clown to the apartment of the caretaker Dynin. There he was locked in a closet. And they began to confer and rejoice.

But they failed to rejoice. They began to look for slippers so as not to stain the Dynino floor, but the slippers disappeared. We needed a corkscrew to open a bottle of Citro Zavkhoznoye, but there was no corkscrew... And where, by the way, did the beautiful fur coat of the hostess go? Comrade Dynin even began to look askance at his comrades and disrespect them a little.

Appendix three. SH-SEPARATING MACHINE

This, guys, is such a special car. It separates the letter Sh from the object. For example, they threw a CORKSCREW into the car. And the AX flew out. Then the letter Ш popped up separately.

A FLIGHT flew into the car. Once! The machine hummed and, please, FLOUR fell out.

Then a fireman came running. StarShina. From the Office of Comrade Tarakanov.

What kind of car is this? Who allowed it to be built? How is it in terms of fire safety?

And he got into the car.

So what happened, guys?

Right. The letter Ш fell out of the car, and the old man got out - because he is OLD.

What have you done to me? - he muttered.

I had to push him into the car again and with reverse side pull out. He's not old anymore. And as it was - a little worn.

THIRTEENTH DAY OF CLASSES

This morning a note was brought to school:

“Vacate the premises, get your clown.

Four unknown people."

Irina Vadimovna told Vasilisa Potapovna to teach lessons, and she got on a motorcycle and rushed off to the main regional organization. To the district council.

Vasilisa Potapovna began the lesson:

Do you remember how tigers roar in the zoo? R-rr-r-r. This tiger sound is written with the letter R. What does it sound like?

To the flag,” said Natasha.

Wonderful. What words start with this letter?

R-gun! - the gunman Sanya shouted.

Comb, radish,” said Natasha.

“Routine and report,” Comrade Pomidorov came up with.

Well done! - said Vasilisa Potapovna. - Now let's combine this sound with the familiar A, O, U, Y. What will happen?

Ra, Ro, Ru, Ry! - the clowns shouted.

Well, just the best! - the teacher was delighted. - Let's write it all down.

The clowns began to diligently write: ra, ro, ru, ry.

And in what words do these syllables occur... Let's say, RO?

In the RO-machine,” said Natasha. - And in ROZ.

In RY-ba and RY-si! - Sanya shouted from the taiga.

In RA-resolution and in RA-order,” said Comrade Pomidorov.

“And before, the syllable “RA” was found in the word Shu-RA,” Natasha added and sighed deeply.

Why did you meet? Doesn't it happen now? - asked Vasilisa Potapovna.

Does not occur. Gone. Because Shura himself disappeared.

And everyone remembered Shura.

Irina Vadimovna drove past the district council watchman and straight up the stairs to the Chairman’s office. The entire management came running to hear the noise. And the Chairman himself.

What's the matter? - he asked.

Here's the thing! - Irina Vadimovna gave him a stealing note.

The chairman of the district council read it:

It's all the supply managers who are rebelling. They just can’t forgive that they were pushed aside. Economic people. They don't want to waste space.

They've gone too far. Watchmen are stolen at night. They make tunnels. They drag people by their beards,” Irina Vadimovna advanced. - And so the best student was stolen.

I’ll have to look into this,” said the Chairman. “I’ll go to your school in the evening and see what’s what.”

Irina Vadimovna got on the motorcycle and rushed back.

Meanwhile, Comrade Dynin and the caretaker were waiting for an answer from the school. But the school was silent, and no one vacated the building.

“There is no answer,” said Comrade Kabachkov-Tykvin. - We need to come up with something else. Comrade Tarakanov will turn our heads.

Let's think! - ordered skinny Grushin. - We must seize the premises by tomorrow.

What day will it be tomorrow?

Tomorrow there will be a big holiday. Public Worker's Day. Best gift, what our building is for Comrade Tarakanov cannot be found.

“I have an idea,” Dynin said. - We need to start a fire with them.

But as? - asked skinny Trushin.

And so. My grandfather was a supply manager in a partisan detachment. And he still has something left.

Mines? - asked Grushin. - Machine gun belts?

No. Smoke bombs.

So what? - asked Kabachkov.

It's very simple. We throw a smoke bomb. Smoke is pouring out of the windows. We get into the car and quickly arrive under the guise of firefighters. We take things out of the house, save people. When the checker goes out, the room is clean and ours. We run to report to Comrade Tarakanov.

Hooray! - the caretakers shouted.

And the clown Shura heard all this from the closet. Ah, if this checker were here, he would immediately make it disappear. But first of all, she wasn't here. And secondly, Shura’s sha-vanishing ability has deteriorated. Because the fur coat, the slippers, the trousers, and the corkscrew have already returned to the caretaker. And by the way, the fur hat has returned to Shakirna’s head. Everyone looked at it and said, “Oh! Greetings from our Shura!

Oddly enough, at that very second the supply managers also thought about Shura.

What should we do with the prisoner? - asked the supply manager Dynin. Since the conversation turned to mines, grenades and checkers, he also switched to military jargon. - Maybe let me go?

In no case! - Kabachkov protested. - He'll tell you everything.

So, will I feed him like this all the time? - asked Dynin.

Well, not all the time. And before the school was captured. And not alone. We will support him one by one. And pass it from house to house, like a shepherd in a village.

The joyful caretakers ran after the smoke bomb. And behind the fire truck.

And Shura sat in the closet, anxious, anxious and almost sick.

"What to do? What to do?" - he thought. And he even began to glow from tension. Oh, how difficult it was for him.

But let's leave Shura alone. Let's not interfere. Let him think and shine.

There was a lesson at school. Vasilisa Potapovna said:

All letters are vowels and consonants. Vowels can be sung. For example, listen. - She sang:

A-A-A was born in the forest.

In the forest she's O-O.

In winter and summer Y-Y-Y,

Green O-O.

But the consonants are not sung. These are letters such as P, M, Sh and N. Try singing them.

The clowns took it too long. Moreover, Pomidorov performed the solo:

P-P-P was born in the forest.

In the forest she is N-N.

In winter and summer R-R-R.

Green Sh-Sh.

They couldn't sing anything, but they stumbled all the time. Irina Vadimovna just arrived.

Do you sing? - she asked.

What are you singing?

The difference between vowels and consonants.

This is not what we need to sing now. We need to sing a protest song. Our premises are about to be taken away.

And they decided that the clowns would urgently learn a protest song. And when the chairman comes, they will sing it.

Clown Shura has not yet decided how he can convey the letter to his people. But I started composing it. He wrote in his mind:

“Aw! Aw! - I call them. - Wow! Wow! “It means I feel bad.”

Shura was so tired from writing that he began to seethe.

Then he figured out how to write the word SHASHKA. He did not know how to write the letter K, and he came up with - SHASH + A. And the last name DYNIN was written as DYN + N. The word SMOKE came out easily. He even managed to form such a complex word as MISSING. It turned out PROPA +.

The most difficult thing remained - how to convey this letter or this telegram to your people?!?!?

Electric sparks were already falling from Shura.

A black Volga drove up to the school, and the Chairman of the District Council himself got out. He climbed the stairs and went into Irina Vadimovna’s office.

Irina Vadimovna showed him the clown class, the living corner and everything else.

They returned to the office to talk again. Suddenly there was music under the window and an announcing voice was heard:

“Protest song!”

And the clowns sang:

We'll take the flour first,

Let's prepare the place

And then we’ll pour water

And we get the dough.

What it is? - asked the Chairman.

The students are singing.

What are they singing?

A protest song. They are protesting against the actions of your caretakers.

What do water and flour have to do with it?

By God, I don't know.

And from the street came:

Well, if there is dough,

So there will be donuts.

They love to eat crumpets

Smart boys.

The chairman leaned out the window and saw that the clowns were not only singing, but were actually baking crumpets on a camp stove. Together with Aunt Thekla. He burst out laughing:

Wow! This is not a protest song, but a song about dough. How stupid they are!

They are not stupid, they are naive,” said Irina Vadimovna. - Kind and funny.

Then Polkan galloped into the room, bringing a bag of donuts in his teeth.

“You were in a bad mood,” the headmistress continued, “they improved it.” When there are clowns in town, everyone has more fun. For both children and adults. And because they are illiterate, bad things happen to them.

They poke their noses in everywhere. They go to where the shepherd is drawn. Because they love dogs. And it says: CAUTION! ANGRY DOG! But they don't understand. And then they fly out of their pants. Then they climb into the transformer booth. There is a skull painted on the door. And they want to meet the skeleton. And to read the word DEADLY! do not know how. Therefore, the decision was made to create a school for clowns. And the caretakers want to take it away. They, you see, have nowhere to store brooms.

Brooms are also needed,” said the Chairman, but not very confidently.

And then something strange happened. The typewriter on the table suddenly started jumping.

What's happened?! - The Chairman shuddered imperceptibly.

I do not know. Let's get a look.

And the typewriter was busy typing Shurino’s letter.

Is she magical? - the Chairman asked quietly.

AU! AU! AU! YAY! YAY!

OUR HOUSE UA. OUR HOUSE IS POSHED. DYN+N SMOKE SHASH+A. OUR HOUSE PROPA+. SHURA.

No. This is Shura the clown delivering a letter. Well, the one that was stolen. He can type from a distance.

“Now I understand,” said the Chairman. - Not a person, but a telegraph.

“But I don’t understand anything,” said Irina Vadimovna. - What is this SMOKE and FIRE?

Smoke and fire, I think smoke and fire. But what is this letter +? “I don’t remember this one,” said the Chairman. - We didn’t go through this. She wasn't there.

It's not a letter. This is such an icon. Clowns play it when they come across an unfamiliar sound. Here it says DYNIN, and here it’s MISSING.

Then I understood everything,” the Chairman rejoiced. - The caretaker wants to throw a smoke bomb. Make it look like a fire. And take over the premises on the sly.

It doesn't get any easier hour by hour! - said Irina Vadimovna. - What to do now?

It’s okay, let them take it. I will help you. I have a gift for you.

Then it was like this. Irina Vadimovna ordered all things (even aquariums) to be packed in convenient bundles. Take half a can and another living corner to Aunt Fekla’s kitchen. Irina Vadimovna put rubber suction cups on Polkan’s horns. And she ordered the clowns not to leave school for a second.

APPENDICES for the thirteenth day of classes

Application one. NOTE FROM THE NEWSPAPER “EVCHERNIY GOROD”

FIRE RECEIVES BEFORE THE BRAVE

At midnight, smoke poured out of the windows of one of the houses, one of the districts of our city.

Fire! Fire! - the people became worried. - Let's go have a look.

But I couldn't see it. A well-equipped car flew out of one of the alleys. And well-trained firefighters began to extinguish the flames and pull things out of the room.

As it turned out later, it was a school for clowns. For our favorite city flowers. Probably one of the flowers mishandled electrical appliances and started the fire. The actions of the firefighters were skillfully supervised by fire department manager Dynin.

Go ahead, he said. - Now go back!..

Back, he said. - Now forward!..

Since childhood, I have loved watching fire,” said Comrade Dynin. “That’s why I joined the fire department.” Our fire extinguishment is constantly growing. If we used to put out five fires a month, now we put out ten.

All that remains is to wish Comrade Dynin and his glorious team even greater success. The townspeople are proud of their firefighters. They can sleep peacefully!

Correspondent Zhuvachkin

Appendix two. HOW THE FIRE ENDED

...Smoke was pouring out of the school windows. Because the caretaker Dynin did not spare smoke bombs. The caretakers, dressed as firefighters, boldly rushed into the “fire” and pulled things out into the street - tables, flowers, chairs, blackboards.

Everything was thought out and debugged by them. Only once Polkan could not stand it, he ran away and Dynin hit him with his horns. It had suction cups on its horns. And he stuck to Dynin. So they walked in single file for some time.

Fuck off! - Dynin shouted.

And Polkan himself would have been glad, but it just didn’t work out. But he helped Dynin carry things. He kept pushing him up the stairs. Dynin was even afraid that Polkan would stick to him for life. But soon Polkan fell off. Here soon the caretakers saw the Chairman of the district council himself.

Well? - he asked. - Pulled out?

Everything to the last! - answered the proud caretakers. - We'll seal the building soon.

Well done. Now take all your things there. Do you see the big new house there?

The fire department commanders hastened to carry out the assignment. The chairman praised them.

Now move the clowns from the annex to the new building too. Just be quiet.

The firemen rushed into the annex as if into battle. They picked up the sleeping clowns and carried them right on their beds to another house. Natasha woke up and asked:

Oh, where am I going? Please stop my airplane bed!

The chairman tells her:

You are dreaming.

And Natasha calmed down.

Then the Chairman praised the caretakers and said:

In the morning I ask you all to come here. And bring your most important, Comrade Tarakanov.

Joyful firefighters rushed to the car.

And return this one that was stolen. My favorite clown Shura! - added the Chairman.

Appendix three. DIAL 01

This is a drawing of a phone. Do you know what number to dial if there is a fire? 01. Is it clear?

In the old days, if something was on fire - a house or a haystack - people ran to a special fire bell and rang it. This is where it came from: “Dili-dili, dili-bom, the cat’s house caught fire.”

And now they are ringing not the bell, but the telephone:

Dili-dili, dili-din,

Dial 01.

FOURTEENTH DAY OF CLASSES

In the morning, the district radio broadcast a speech by correspondent Zhuvachkin.

“Dear comrades!

Today, on Public Utility Worker Day, our city received a big gift from utility workers. Or, as people say, from the caretaker. They built a new beautiful building and gave it to the clowns. This building will house a school for clowns. For these bright colors of life.

Long live our dear municipal supply managers!

Happy sailing to them!”

The people rejoiced at this event and rejoiced. There was music playing and dancing near the new building.

Irina Vadimovna called the Chairman of the District Council:

Tell me, how did it all turn out?

Very simple. We were preparing a new building for the caretaker as a gift. And since they like the old so much, since they fight so hard for it, we decided: let it be their way. And they gave you a new one.

“I really invite you to the grand opening,” said the touched director. - So that you cut the ribbon.

Let Tarakanov do it. He is the main culprit... of the celebration. He will arrive quickly. I'll give him a car.

Just at this time, the supply managers brought in the captured Shura.

Hooray! - the clowns shouted. And they rocked Shura for a long time.

Then they prepared the ribbon and scissors and began to wait for Comrade Tarakanov.

The Volga arrived. Green Tarakanov got out of the car. I shook hands with everyone. I spent a particularly long time greeting Comrade Pomidorov. And I kept thinking:

“How has my Pomodorov grown up? Is he suitable as my deputy? We have a clear lack of leadership."

He was blindfolded. Clown music started playing. And Tarakanov went. Straight to Uncle Shakir. Uncle Shakir, in horror, raised his wig beard so that it would not be cut off, and put his stomach with suspenders forward.

And exactly. Comrade Tarakanov went through them with scissors. The pants fell off. Tarakanov became terribly embarrassed, got into the chairman’s car and drove off. To tell the truth, they didn’t really hold him back. And Irina Vadimovna solemnly said:

I congratulate all of you, dear clowns! And you, Vasilisa Potapovna! And you, dear Uncle Shakir! I am sure that we will learn even better.

Then she hugged Shura the clown by the shoulders and said:

Come on, dear Shura, make sure we have a beautiful board with the inscription: SCHOOL OF CLOWNS.

And Shura thought about it. And Shura buzzed.

Now there will be a lid! - said Pomidorov.

There was a crash. Shura worked. And a beautiful marble plaque with gold letters appeared above the entrance. It was written on it: “SH+OLA +LOUNOV.”

Because Shura did not yet know how to write the sound K. He did not know that this sound is written with the letter K. And the first thing Irina Vadimovna said in new school, was.

- Mom, can you sit with me? I’m afraid... - said Seryozha when he began to go to bed.
-What are you afraid of?
“It seems to me like a scary clown and he’s coming right at us,” Seryozha said in fear.
“Mmm... You know, I remembered one story about a clown,” my mother said and began to tell.

In one big, big city there was big circus. Every evening many, many people, children, mothers, fathers, grandparents, gathered in this circus. They all had fun, laughed, ran, jumped and waited for the performance to begin and the clown Vasya to enter the arena (this is such a round stage in the circus). He was very funny, this clown Vasya. He had beautiful big drawn eyes, huge boots and a huge red mouth that was always smiling. Vasya ran out into the arena, fell funny, tumbled, laughed and shouted to the guys “HELLO!” He always came up with different funny things and tricks, so much so that everyone around him just roared with laughter. And one boy laughed so hard that he even lost his braces! (these are wires that are glued to the teeth for a short time so that they become smooth and beautiful). Everyone thought that Vasya was the funniest clown in the world.
And no one, no one, no one knew that in fact Vasya’s smile and his cheerful big eyes were painted. That his boots are the most ordinary, it’s only in the circus that he wears such funny huge boots to amuse the guys. And no one knew that Vasya was the saddest person in the world, because he had no friends. When should he be friends? When all the people are relaxing and talking with each other, visiting each other, Vasya is working in the arena, amusing them and lifting their spirits with his jokes and tricks. And when Vasya comes home, it’s already late and everyone is asleep.
And Vasya’s home was also sad. He will come from the circus, and the house is dark, no one is waiting for him, no one is greeting him... Vasya goes to bed, falls asleep and has colorful dreams about how he walks with friends, goes to the circus and rides on the carousel in the park.

One day, a boy who really liked the performances with the participation of the clown Vasya came to him backstage. Well, of course, he came not alone, but with his grandmother. After all, boys shouldn't wander around alone. The boy knocked on the door of the dressing room (this is the room where artists change clothes), walked in and said:
- Dear clown Vasya. My grandmother and I want to say that you are the best clown in the world! And that we love you very much!
But then the boy saw that the clown had already washed all the paint from his face. And that in fact he has very sad eyes and a sad smile.
“Thank you, boy,” said Vasya. - I’m very pleased that you like my performances, come again, okay?
“Vasya, why do you have such sad eyes?” the boy asked.

So they started talking and became friends. Of course, they couldn’t see each other very often, because the boy had to get up early for kindergarten, and the clown returned late after performances. But they often called each other, talked about everything in the world and even sometimes wrote letters to each other! And of course the boy always came to the clown shows.

One day the boy found out that the clown Vasya would soon have a birthday. He consulted with his grandmother and they decided to give the clown a surprise!
In the evening, Vasya came home from the circus, tired and sad. The house was dark and quiet as usual. Vasya sat down on a chair in the corridor and sighed sadly: Oh-oh-oh... and then someone pushed him in the leg. Vasya thought: “Oh... I guess I’m so tired that I’m already imagining something!” and sighed again: eh-eh-eh... And then someone pushed him in the leg again and said: duh! Vasya was so scared that he was imagining something! He jumped on the spot, then jumped onto a stool, turned on the light and heard a cheerful:
- Hooray!!! Happy birthday, Vasya!
And below the little puppy added 6 Tyaf! Tyaf! Tyaf!
This boy and his grandmother baked a cake for Vasya and found him a little friend who will always greet Vasya from work and rejoice at him! And the clown Vasya will no longer be so sad and lonely. The boy’s grandmother also talked to the circus director and convinced him that Vasya simply needed a vacation. And they all went to the park together, to ride on the carousel, and then to the zoo, and then they just walked and walked and walked. And Druzhok (that’s what the clown called his puppy) also walked with them and yapped joyfully, because he really liked that he now had such a big, kind and cheerful friend - Vasya the clown.
And when Druzhok grew up, Vasya taught him circus tricks and they began performing together. And the boy had already entered school, but he was still friends with the clown and tried to study well, because Vasya rejoiced at each of his fives more than at candy! And my grandmother sometimes did a delicious cake, and they all sat down at the table on Saturday evening, drank tea and cake and talked about different things. And Vasya the clown was never sad again. And the cheerful eyes with a smile on his face became real, not painted!

“Now let’s go to sleep,” said mom. - And may you dream of a performance where the clown Vasya performs with his friend Druzhok.

A fairy tale about an alien clown Sashka, although we have a sociable guy, he is friends only with a select few. Moreover, according to my observations, mainly with girls. I wouldn’t call it falling in love, probably, this feeling is still unfamiliar to him. Previously, a girl named Lisa was in the same group with him in kindergarten. She was a little older than Sasha, so she was in great authority with him, as a person who knows everything. “Do you know that the best gymnasium in the city is Thirty?” - he asked me busily one day after class. "Yes? – I was surprised. - Why do you say that?" “Yes, because Liza’s brother studies there, that’s why,” he answered knowledgeably. “Well, since Liza’s brother studies there, then that’s for sure good school, especially since I know “thirty.” Then Lisa moved, but Sonya appeared. Boylier, but a year younger than Sashka. And he gradually took patronage over her. “Oh, you can’t imagine what Sonya did today,” he sometimes told me after kindergarten. And with kind condescension he told another story involving Sonya. So, a fairy tale. One day a boy named Sasha went into the forest. Although he was warned that going there was dangerous: it was dark, scary and full of wild animals, robbers, Hedgehog Grannies, orcs, huge scorpions, cannibal worms and ghouls. - Do you know who ghouls are? - Nope. - These are fictitious living dead people, vampires. A dead person was buried in the ground, and for unknown reasons he came to life. Having got out of the grave, he walked among living people, scared them and even ate them. Just like a zombie. And man-eating worms lurked underground. When someone walked on its surface, they heard it. As soon as the traveler stopped, the worms crawled out of the ground, quietly crawled up to the victim and sharply grabbed him by the leg. They could only gnaw off a big man's leg, but little man they were able to drag them completely underground, where they ate them. Can you imagine? - Yes. All these evil spirits are located in the forest. When Sasha walked through this terrible forest, he heard a suspicious rustling behind him. Turning around, he saw giant beetles running after him. They clicked their jaws disgustingly and clattered their paws. - For what? - To scare the victim. This is their war cry that they make before attacking. "Stop! - the boy confidently shouted to them. “Don’t you dare run towards me!” “Why are you shouting, boy? - the beetles were surprised. “We really need to run to you.” By the way, we are having an evening jog here. We play sports. And anyway, get out of the way.” - Weren’t you scared when I shouted “stop”? - Nope. The boy politely let the beetles pass and wandered on. Suddenly he heard hissing and growling behind him. Turning around, he saw that a snake with the head of a terrible fanged tiger was crawling behind him, hissing with something unknown and growling. - Like this: “Rrrrrrr!” Shhhhh!”? - Yes. It was already very dark in the forest, just like now. The boy pressed himself against the tree so that he could not be seen and held his breath. - Like this? – Sasha is hiding behind a tree. - Yes. The snake crawled closer and began to sniff. And then Sasha accidentally sneezed: “Apchhi!” “Ahhhh! – the snake screamed in surprise. “Who sneezed?” Sashka bursts into laughter. “Yes, it’s me,” admitted Sasha. “Why are you so scared, boy? You’re standing here quietly behind a tree, hiding and, well, scaring me. You can't do that. “I’m an ordinary snake, only with the head of a tiger,” the snake took a breath. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” Sasha looked down. The snake crawled into the bushes, and Sasha continued on his way. He saw... -...that the road was bending. Yes. And on his way there was a stone on which it was written: if you go left, you will die; if you go right, you will end up in prison for life with a terrible cannibal, who will keep you for a long time and then eat you. - What if you go forward? So the boy asked himself the same question. “You can’t go forward,” the stone answered him sternly. “Well, then I’ll go left,” Sasha decided. “That means you will die,” answered the stone. “We’ll see about that later,” Sasha was not at a loss. He confidently walked to the left and after a couple of minutes he noticed a colorful house. It was red, green and yellow at the same time, with glowing lights. A clown stood on the threshold of the house and beckoned to visitors: “Children, come and visit! I'm a funny, kind clown." The boy took a closer look at him and noticed that the clown’s hands were covered in blood, and an ax was peeking out from behind his back. “Clown, are you really kind? “- Sasha doubted. "Certainly! Come to me, children! “I have such a cheerful house, you will definitely like it there,” he answered. “Boy, did you come alone?” “Yes,” admitted Sasha. “Ha ha ha! – the clown thundered ominously, testing the ax blade behind his back with his finger. - What a joy! Come in!” “Why are there blood on your hands?” - Sasha asked. "This? – the clown looked at his hands. - So it’s not blood, but ordinary paint. I was drawing beautiful pictures in red." “Why do you need an ax behind your back?” - Sasha did not let up. “Oh, it’s a secret,” the clown winked at him conspiratorially. “You come into my house and find out.” “It doesn’t hurt, I want to go visit you. You are still some kind of strange clown. I guess I’ll go back to the forest,” Sasha was about to turn around, but suddenly the clown grabbed him by the throat. “But no! Now I won’t let you go so easily!” - he hissed. “What are you doing?” - Sasha screamed in fear, trying to free himself. “I just want to hug you tight,” the clown somehow answered him unkindly, looking straight into his eyes, and pushed him into the house. In that house, everything was not like ordinary people. There was no furniture there: no tables, no chairs, no armchairs. - What was there? There were only empty cells there. “Come into any of them and feel at home,” the clown suggested to Sasha. “I don’t want to go into any cage, I want to go home, let me go,” the boy resisted. "Well, I do not. “I won’t let you go until you eat my magic cake,” answered the clown. He brought the boy this sweetness, in which one black candle . “Blow it out first,” the clown ordered. “What else is this for?” - Sasha protested. “You try and find out. But don’t forget to try the cake itself,” the clown winked at him. “I won’t blow it out and I won’t eat your cake!” - Sasha tried to push the plate away from him. And then suddenly the wind blew in, and the candle blew out on its own. At that moment, the lights in the house went out, and the clown threw off his clown outfit, under which a terrible, terrible monster was hiding. He had eight spider legs, three arms and a tail, at the end of which a sharp sting gleamed, just like a scorpion. - No, he had four arms, and one of them grew from his stomach. He also held a stick in his hand. Yes. And on it there was an inscription: kill everyone. “I knew that you are no clown. You, it turns out, are a monster,” exclaimed Sasha. - Sashka, let’s go faster, it seems it’s starting to rain. Take a wider step! The clown did not know that Sasha had a magic device. The “call rescue” button was lit on it. The boy pressed it long ago, and the signal was transmitted into space. Rescuers learned that the child was in trouble. They immediately boarded the helicopter and were already flying up to the scene. There was also a second button on this miracle device - “throw away the net”. As soon as Sasha pressed it, a sticky mesh surrounded the monster, restricting its movements. - And the monster managed to put his clown outfit back on. - No, his clown outfit was still lying nearby. "Boy! – the monster screamed shrilly. “Do what you want, just don’t burn my clown outfit!” “You clown are very bad. I know that in this forest there have long been rumors about you as a child torturer and a cannibal. I will burn your clown outfit, and then not a single child will wander into your house. I specifically came to you to find out for sure what you are doing here. Otherwise, I would never have come to you, unlike stupid children who are attracted by luminous houses like yours,” said Sasha. With these words, he threw his clown outfit straight into the stove. A fire broke out, an unexpected roar was heard, and the entire house fell apart and turned to ashes. Fortunately, Sasha and the tied up monster managed to run out into the forest. And at that very moment rescuers arrived to them. “Who needs to be saved here?” - the one who was their eldest asked keenly. “Yes, I already organized the capture of the villain myself,” Sasha modestly admitted. - Sashka, let's go faster. It's cold and it's raining. My phone is already wet. “We've been tracking this clown for years, and you caught him alone. Well done! – the rescuers praised the boy. “Now we will send him to trial, and we will free those children whom he tortured from their cages.” “So the cells are empty!” - Sasha was perplexed. “Ha ha ha! – the monster laughed darkly. “You will never know where these children are.” “Come on, let me take another look at these cells,” Sasha suggested with disbelief. He took a closer look and noticed a rug in one of them, and under it - a door. It turned out that there was a door like this in the floor of each cage. And behind it is another cell, only bigger. That's where the children were sitting. Sasha opened the cage, rescued the first child from there and asked what his name was. “Petya,” he answered quietly. “So, Petya, run home,” suggested Sasha. “But I don’t know where my home is,” the child answered in confusion. Then Sasha turned to the rescuers. They quickly found Petya’s parents from a photograph, called them and asked: “Have you lost your son?” "Yes! Our boy Petya has been missing for a long time,” his mom and dad babbled into the phone. "And where do you live?" - asked the chief rescuer. “Moscow city, Lenin street, building 1, apartment 14,” was the answer. "Great. We will send Petya to you by plane,” the rescuers decided. In the second cage sat the girl Masha, in the third - the boy Gena, in the fourth - the girl Asya, in the fifth - the boy Vasya, in the sixth - the girl Natasha, in the seventh - the boy Pasha, in the ninth - the girl Vera. And in the eighth cage there was a little kitten sitting and drinking milk. "Ha! – Sasha grinned. – And our monster has a sense of humor: in one cage he kept a kitten instead of a child. He's strange, of course. They should put him in jail." The rescuers promised to take care of it. But first they wanted to explore it to find out why it was so scary. Doctors, researchers and scientists came to the monster. “This creature is truly strange,” the scientific council unanimously admitted. “It’s half animal, half human.” It looks like it’s from another planet.” “Yes,” admitted the unlucky clown, “I’m from the planet... - ... “Orion.” Right. “This planet is far, far away in another galaxy,” he continued. - But I have a spaceship. My purpose for being on your planet Earth is to catch children and conduct all kinds of experiments on them. For example, I fed one boy only sweet candies and watched what would happen to him.” - And he developed an allergy to sweets. And not only that: he also felt sick. And he fed the other girl only sour sweets, which made her feel bad too. He gave the third child water only once a day, and the boy became completely withered and sickly. And he fed the fourth girl only dried food: dried fruits and crackers. Everyone knows that a complete diet also includes liquid food: soups and a variety of cereals, for example. That's why her stomach hurt all the time. All these tortured children were treated for a long time. But in the end they were cured and sent home. “Well, why are you keeping me in prison?” - the monster was indignant. “Yes, because you can’t steal children,” they answered him. “But I would return them later,” he lowered his gaze. “But you ruined their health, it’s forbidden to do that,” they explained to him. The monster was left in prison, and Sasha was awarded a beautiful gold medal on a blue ribbon. It was inscribed in precious stones: “To the boy Sasha for saving eight children and one kitten from the clutches of an alien monster.”

Red-haired clown

Funny fairy tales for children and adults

Nikolay Shchekotilov

Illustrator Andrey Minyakov

© Nikolay Shchekotilov, 2017

© Andrey Minyakov, illustrations, 2017

ISBN 978-5-4485-8446-6

Created in the intellectual publishing system Ridero

Red-haired clown

One day a red-haired boy woke up wearing a hat and a bow tie around his neck. Mom was even scared when she came to wake him up. The hat and bow tie were hidden in the closet. But the next morning he was back in his hat and bow. Mom checked - not from the closet.

I had to go to the doctor. He felt his pulse, tapped his knee and said:

“This is not an ordinary case, we need to consult a professor.”

The professor also felt his pulse and tapped his knee. Then he walked around with his hands behind his back and finally said confidently: “The boy has a clear predisposition to circus art. My diagnosis: redhead-clown-magicismus.”

So the boy became a magician clown in the circus. Under the creative name Ryzhik. But not an ordinary one, but a wizard. Because his tricks were not tricks at all, but real transformations and revivals. Even the choir of hares and squirrels, at his command, merrily sang children's songs for real. Not under plywood*.

Ryzhik was not greedy at all, and in the morning he gave his hats and bow ties to other children. After all, every time he got new ones, and the one who put on his hat and bow tie became a clown-wizard himself. And the city in which Ryzhik lived turned into a city of cheerful wizards day by day.

But then one day the following posters appeared on all city streets:

“Love yourself! The world's best clown magician presents! Hurry up to see!”

And then the audience flocked to a new performance, in which another boy wizard in a hat and a bow around his neck invited everyone to look into the magic mirror. In this mirror, any person saw his reflection as the most beautiful and intelligent in the world. And then he fell in love with himself.

Since then, the city has become more and more unkind and gloomy every day. After all, the one who loves only himself is not only indifferent to others, but also wants to steal all their joys and appropriate them for himself. And people stopped helping each other. They bought their own cakes for the holidays and no longer visited each other.

And the children, who looked into the evil magic mirror, grabbed magic hats and bows and staged similar performances. And there were long lines at the box office for tickets. Because those who had already looked in the mirror wanted more and more, so that others would get less.

- How can I save the city from disaster? – Ryzhik asked his mother. And they came up with it together.

“Do you want to become the world's ONLY super clown wizard? Hurry! Master Class! Just one show!” – one morning posters appeared all over the city.

All the egoists, of course, came to this performance. Both with and without hats. And so Ryzhik rolled into the arena, standing on a large ball. And he began to spin around on it at high speed. And then faster. And then even faster. A strong wind arose and blew away all the spectators' hats and bows. And Ryzhik was already spinning so fast that the wind turned into a real hurricane, which began to carry away not only hats, but also thoughts. But we know what kind of thoughts egoists have. The hurricane carried them away.

And now Ryzhik is expected everywhere. Maybe he will be invited to America with this number.

* this is the name for performing with a phonogram when the sound is recorded in advance, and the singer on stage only pretends to sing.

Runaway mustache

One small and plump man had a beautiful mustache. He took great care of them, because every person should have something beautiful - a mustache, for example.

Then one morning he looked in the mirror, but there was no mustache. He goes to another mirror - and it’s not there. The guy runs to his wife and sees his mustache under her nose. As soon as he extended his hand to pick them up, his mustache - jump! And they are already glued to their son.

The boy liked being mustachioed - he quickly ran into the yard so that he wouldn’t be taken away. He sees his neighbor Masha in the sandbox and goes to show her off. And that’s what the mustache needs - they moved to Masha. Masha, of course, roared - a girl, and to her mother. Mom still didn’t understand why she was crying, because there was no trace of a mustache anymore.

A guy is driving along the road, a different one: not the one whose mustache was. In a Mercedes. And passers-by point at him - at the Mercedes, not at the driver. Mercedes with a mustache is unusual.

But the mustaches quickly got bored with it and, after showing off a little, they moved into the oncoming bus, and let’s jump from one, one might say, “under the nose” to another. There was such a commotion that the driver stopped the bus and ran to inform the police.

The police arrested the driver because the same mustache was already located on him, and they were identified by an identikit.

The identikit was compiled based on the statement of that first guy, the real owner. But the mustache hasn’t run away yet: they’re wondering what will happen next? But when they were photographed both from the front and in profile, the mustaches began to fly again.

So they flashed everywhere. At first only in one city, and then they began to appear in different cities. Well, in the end, like everyone else, they moved to Moscow.

At first, there were all sorts of reports about them in newspapers, on the radio and on TV channels, of course. But soon the mustache became familiar - people were no longer interested in keeping an eye on it. And finally, new news has appeared. About a cat, for example, who ate a fish that swallowed a rare diamond.

Everyone started conducting correspondent investigations about where the cat marked the territory after that and all that. And they no longer remembered the mustache.

And then one day at the space flight control center everyone gasped. They are sending a rocket ship to Mars. And he has a mustache under his nose! Not near Mars, but near a spaceship, of course. We slipped through, as they say, under the noses of the guards! Now they will entertain the Martians.

A beautiful horse

One very beautiful horse went out for a walk. She walks slowly, and everyone she meets admires her and says: “Oh, how beautiful! What perfection!

Only the sparrow says nothing, sits on a branch and chirps. The horse was very surprised: this had never happened to him before. Asks the sparrow:

- Why don’t you praise me? As everybody.

- Just think, a beautiful horse! And I am a beautiful sparrow. “And I can fly,” he answered and flew away.

The horse was very upset: it realized its imperfection. It needs to be fixed urgently. So she started running and jumping in different ways. But it doesn’t fly at all. He asks the cow that was grazing nearby:

- Like this? Birds fly, but I can't. Am I worse than the birds?

- Well, they have wings. Didn't you see it?

- No, I have not seen. I just look at myself: how beautiful I am.

The horse signed up for a 3D printer. And when it was her turn, she was weighed, measured, and calculated on the computer. And they made wings. The center of gravity was determined on the back and the wings were attached there.

The horse came out and said to the wings: “Well, let’s finally fly.” And the wings hang on the sides - there is no flight. Sparrow saw her, sympathized with her and explained that she also needed to learn to fly.

Then the horse enrolled in flight school. She comes to her first lesson and is asked:

– Will you train on an airplane or on a glider? Or maybe by helicopter?

- No. I want to fly on my wings.

- This is not for us. We don't have that kind of training. The horse came out, again wandering upset...

And then an eagle flew past, saw her wings and asked:

- Why don’t you fly if you have wings?

- Yes, I can’t.

- Do you want me to teach you?

- Of course I want!

Then the eagle called ten more of the same eagles, they picked up the horse and lifted it to a high rock. The eagle brought her to the edge of the abyss. “Fly,” he says, “with wings.” The horse waved, and he pushed it down. The horse, frightened, stopped waving and flew down like a stone.

But the eagle folded its wings and, falling next to it, shouted: “Come on! Otherwise you’ll crash!” That's how he taught her to fly.

And then one day a horse flies, and another horse meets it - also a horse. Only white. Ours was delighted and asked: “Did you also make wings on a 3D printer?”

And she snorted, so offended. And he answers: “I am Pegasus! I inspire poets! My wings are natural.” And she flew away: apparently someone needed to be inspired.

Holey Socks Gang

The boy's right sock became leaky and he threw it away. It was evening, and the second sock slept through everything. Only in the morning he discovered his brother was missing. There was no time to grieve, we had to go look.

All day the left sock wandered around the city in vain searches, because he knew nothing about where his little brother could have disappeared to. Night was approaching. The left one was tired and lay down to rest under a bush.

* Teach sound-letter analysis of words.

* Strengthen the skill of syllable reading of words.

* Develop visual and auditory perception, logical thinking, imagination, memory.

EQUIPMENT

Notebooks; colour pencils; pen; rebus "Vasya"; posters; portrait of a clown; colored chips for analysis; split alphabet.

Organizing time

Poster:

EYES, EYEBROWS, NOSE, SMILE, HEAD

CURLS, CAP, TWO BUTTONS, SLEEVES,

HANDS, PANTS, BOOTS, FELT FEET, IN HANDS

Tambourine, pipe.

Sign the drawing - CLOWN.

Sound-letter analysis of the word CLOWN

Tasks:

Divide the word into syllables;

Write down the syllabic stress pattern;

Build a sound house;

Color the sound rooms;

Write the word in letters.

Solving the letter puzzle: what is the name of the clown? (Vasya.) The clown came to life and walked through the land of words to amuse the people. He came to the city and posted a poster: “I show tricks. Payment for tricks- kilogram of garbage. I take garbage from the yard. Clown Vasya."

After reading this announcement, housewives began to urgently clean their apartments.

And this was the first trick that the clown showed to people. The whole city immediately found out who their dirty guy was. Those who were unable to scrape together a whole kilogram of garbage were seated by the clown Vasya in the best seats and the show began.

Word transformations

The clown asks to write the word COP in letters on the board and on the desks, and then turns it into the word CHEESE, which he treated his audience to. From a pile of garbage he took a candy wrapper and turned it into a bow (how did he turn the word FANTIK into the word BOTTOM?)

The clown gave the girl a bow, took out a stick, turned the word STICK into the word DAW and released the bird (turn the word STICK into the word DAW yourself, which letters need to be changed?)

Physical education lesson “Exercise for a clown”

Any exercises familiar to children are used.

Word tricks

Clown Vasya invites everyone to his school of magicians. Reading the poster:

* How did the pumpkin croak?

* How did they build a hut from a bathhouse?

* How did the clown make a house out of smoke?

* How did you turn a cat into a mole?

* How did you launch the carriage into space? Read before playing:

To take a big word,

Take out letters one and two,

And then collect them again -

New words will come out.

Clue: pumpkin, mole, FROM the bathhouse, smoke, ROCKET. Work in notebooks: write down the resulting words: KVA, CANCER, HUT, HOUSE, MOLE, ROCKET.

Lesson summary

Tell the story about the clown Vasya to your parents and teacher.

Thank you, ABC!

(final lesson on teaching literacy in a pre-school group)

* Consolidate and generalize the knowledge and skills of children acquired at speech therapy classes during a year.

EQUIPMENT

Notebooks; colour pencils; pen; rebus “I want to know everything”; posters; isographer "Pencil".

Speech therapist. My friends! Congratulations, you have learned all the letters of the Russian alphabet, learned to analyze the sound-syllable structure of words, write, read, solve puzzles, charades, puzzles, crosswords. And you were helped in this by: hard work, patience, curiosity and perseverance and, of course, friends who helped you discover the secrets of literacy. They have come to say goodbye to you. This is TIM and TOM, ZUKOVICHIKI, BELL KOLYA, AMU, LORD OF SYLLABLES, LETTER EATER, MAID ERROR. Among them, the only one missing is Her Majesty the QUEEN CREDIT.

Let's go to her. I would really like our journey today to be...

Children read the words, completing the speech therapist’s phrase.