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It's amazing how easy it is for others to make important decisions. They seem to intuitively understand what they want, where they are going, what career to choose, what area to live in, and even who to marry.
And you… you can't stop at just one thing, constantly “changing lanes” while driving along the “road of life”, constantly being interested in something new. Coach Barbara Sher calls such people “scanners”: they feel best in conditions of constant change, trying to try (“scan”) as much as possible, even if only superficially.
It can be difficult and scary for a “scanner” to decide what to do next
All this is great when you are actively doing something - but what if you can’t even start?
It can be difficult and scary for a “scanner” to decide what to do next. Luckily, there are some strategies that can help you figure out where to go and take action,” says British coach John Williams, author of Screw Work, Let’s Play, who hosts Scanner Night every month in London. Here's what he recommends.
1. Select a project
Many of us last time seriously immersed in some project back in school, but meanwhile projects are very useful: they give us the opportunity to focus on one area and at the same time discover a lot of new things.
Decide on the area of life in which you want to make progress
First, decide on the area of life in which you want to make progress: it could be a hobby, career, sports, travel, personal life. Make a list of all the development options in this area that are attractive to you. Write everything without limiting or “censoring” yourself. Do you want to change your occupation? List all possible professions that might be of interest to you - from a stockbroker to a writer or coach.
Once you've made your list, pick the ones that seem most appealing so you can experiment a little first. If you can't decide at all, flip a coin. It doesn't matter what you decide, the main thing is to decide.
2. Work on the project for a month
Set aside a small amount of time—say, half an hour a day—that you can devote to your project each day.
Take practical steps that bring you closer to your goal
Don't waste it on endless thinking, reading or searching the Internet for all kinds of information. Take practical steps that bring you closer to your goal." For example, if you are planning to improve your personal life, go on dates or at least actively communicate on the Internet, and not just look at the pages of potential partners on dating sites. If you decide to become a web designer, talk to people who are already doing this, try to join their company, read professional publications or take relevant courses.
As long as your interest remains solely in your head, you will never be able to understand whether it is really suitable for you or not. Need to try it in practice.
3. Don't give up on your idea too quickly.
This rule should be followed when making any decision. If what you started doing doesn’t work out or doesn’t bring you joy, don’t quit right away. Spend some time thinking about it. Ask yourself what else you can do to make it work. Often, just by sitting and thinking, you will discover new possible paths. Scanners are especially likely to give up new activities without really trying them.
If things don't work out, ask yourself: why?
If things don't work out, ask yourself: why? If you're bored or don't get along with the people involved in your project, consider whether you've had similar problems in the past. It can be very useful to see patterns that constantly arise in your life.
For example, if you quickly get bored with what you decide to do, realize that this is a normal reaction for you at the initial stage of the journey, after completing which you will be able to truly focus on business.
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4. Be flexible
If you put in the effort, you can do almost anything, but it's worth remembering that success in some fields is much more difficult and much more competitive. This is especially true for creative professions, such as writer, actor, singer, musician.
Sometimes you can get what you're really looking for by doing something a little different
This does not mean that you need to give up everything that seems too difficult and look for something easier. But sometimes it's worth realizing that you can get what you're really looking for by doing something a little different.
For example, if you want to become a writer, think about what it is about this craft that attracts you. Do you like to play with words or maybe you want to create fantasy worlds? If the second is true, then you can realize your passion in other areas - for example, by taking up scenery design, writing computer game scripts, or working with children.
5. Remember that your decision can always be changed
Many people are afraid to choose one thing and direct all their efforts there, because it seems to them that now they will always have to do this and only this, even if they later stop liking it. But once you make a decision, you can almost always abandon it over time. It is important to adjust your path taking into account the development of the situation, but as a last resort, you can always change your choice.
about the author
John Williams- British coach and psychotherapist, author of the book “To hell with work, let's play!” (“Screw Work Break Free: How to launch your own money-making idea in 30 days”, Pearson, 2016).
His website: screwworkbreakfree.com.
Emotional exhaustion is not such a rare problem. But loss of strength and doubt (“Am I doing everything right in life?”, “Where should I go next?”) are just a good reason to reconsider your priorities. We are publishing an article for you that will tell you what direction to take to start enjoying life.
I remember when I was at university, I thought that I needed to choose a job that would make me happy for the next 50 years of my life or even more. What a difficult task this is!
But the reality is that you can’t know for sure what will bring you joy throughout your life. You can't even know what will make you happy in 5 years. But you understand what gives you pleasure in this moment. And, if your current situation is depressing, you need to move on. Life is about trying different things and realizing what you don't want or want to become in the future.
A few simple truths to remember
1. No one can plan their future.
Remember, you don't know what awaits you. Life is full of surprises and unexpected turns. But if you do something you enjoy, whether it's a job or a hobby, it will make your journey through life much more fun.
2. Discomfort can be tolerated.
Sometimes we are not satisfied with something in life. For example, there may not be enough money for everything that you really want to try. If you really want something, you will have to endure some inconvenience on the way to achieving your goal. For example, I want my own dog sled so I can race in Alaska. To do this, I had to give up my cozy, clean home in the city and move to Alaska. We often face water shortages and power outages, and our hut is much smaller than our previous home. But we don’t focus on the discomfort because we live in a beautiful place and I’m on the path to fulfilling my dream.
3. Life is changeable, it’s better to learn to change with it.
Things happen. Once upon a time it seemed to me that I had everything one could dream of: a great job, a magnificent house in the forest. But I was fired, I lost my house, I turned 40, and all this happened in one week. Then I discovered that I was pregnant. It's been another week. I spent a couple of days depressed, lying on the couch, but then I came up with a plan and went to Alaska. Circumstances can and should be used to your advantage. Every trouble is an opportunity for something more.
4. Delaying action is not the best strategy.
We're not getting any younger. Unfortunately, this is the truth. If you don't start using your time wisely and making your dreams come true, by the end of your life you risk being left with nothing. If you seriously dream of achieving something, it is better to start taking action. The first steps are the most difficult, but it’s better to break away from the Internet and get to work. You will not advance a millimeter just by wondering what heights you could achieve.
5. Questions will help you understand yourself.
Taking some time for yourself is a good idea. You can ask yourself some really important questions. And minor ones. Understand yourself. Meditate. Make a list of things that interest you and that you could do if you had enough time and money. Dreaming globally is difficult, but important. Quiet your mind with its eternal “buts” and fantasize about this topic.
6. There is no need to rush headlong into the pool.
If there's a job or hobby you're interested in, try doing it pro bono to see if it's exactly what you want to do. Even your biggest and wildest dreams will not help you if you neglect real actions and experiences. Sometimes it seems that we really want to do something, but after trying it once, we realize that it may not be quite what it seemed. It is very important to try before radically changing your life in favor of dubious prospects.
7. It is important to save.
If you need to move or take a course to fulfill your dream, it would be a good idea to earn some money first. I was working long years, so that my editorial portfolio is impressive enough to work from home. And now I have the opportunity to edit articles from my tiny hut, get paid for it and pay for the necessary equipment and food for the dogs. Would I like dogs and racing to bring me an income? Certainly. But for now I’m still creating and training my team, so this is impossible. I have no experience in sled dog racing, but I do have a reputation as a writer. So I do one job I love to pay for another.
8. “Yes!” new opportunities.
The chance to change your life for the better may be right under your nose, but you may simply not notice it and, accordingly, miss it. Don't miss out on opportunities. Sometimes they appear at the wrong time, but you have no control over it. However, it is within your power to open the door—or opportunity may leave and come knocking for someone else.
When you're trying to figure out what to do with your life, remember the main thing: lack of action is not action in itself. Making decisions and trying is the most important thing, even if in some cases you will be unhappy with your decisions. At the end of your life, you will not regret taking risks and facing failures. But you definitely won’t be glad that you didn’t try at all. Turn off your laptop and start living.published
Michelle Kennedy Hogan
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consumption, we are changing the world together! © econet
". I answer Marianna’s question from St. Petersburg:
"Alexander, good afternoon.
To begin with, I want to write that I am a happy person and everything is fine with me. In short, I’m 28 years old, I’m married and I live a completely happy and normal life in St. Petersburg...
In a month it will be exactly a year since I quit my job at a large (very large) Russian bank...
I quit because I couldn’t stand the pressure from management, unclear tasks, obvious bribery, and much more. But the main thing is still a system built on “squeezing out” people, some kind of inhumane attitude. Then, and even today, my husband’s income allows me not to work, but when I quit, I didn’t expect to be left without work...
And then I thought - well, if that’s the case, then I need to gather my strength and start all over again. Nowadays, all these slogans are in fashion like: “Find a job that you love, and you will never have to work a single day in your life.” Yes, it's easy to say, but to do...
How many career guidance tests have I passed, how many books on psychology have I read... In general, in life, I am a rather addicted person, I take on something new with pleasure, but as soon as I master it, I get completely bored with this activity.
So, about the signs - I was waiting for them and waiting, waiting, waiting... I waited actively: I went to the cinema, to galleries, met with old acquaintances, in general, I waited from everywhere. I was waiting for it to pull somewhere, for something to start folding and spinning and spinning. But it’s been almost a year now, and I still don’t know what to do... I send my resume to vacancies that seem interesting to me, but with my long experience in banking, they don’t even call me back. And, to be honest, I’m not so sure that they are very interesting to me - I just have to do something, how long can I sit in one place...
And I was thinking - is it true that it is fate that pushes us to some changes, pushes us to change our path, or is it still a person who must first want something, and then the universe will hear his desire and begin to adjust everything around him? according to his wishes? Perhaps, while I myself don’t know what exactly I want, the universe is sleeping in a sweet sleep and is in no hurry to help me with its signs?
That seems to be it. I have been thinking about these questions for a long time, but no one can tell me the correct answers to them. And what to do, where to move next if you don’t know and don’t feel your way?..
Best wishes to you and your family, Marianna."
Hunting is in every person. The desire to live. There is hunting. Hunting for the toilet.
When you go after your hunt, you don't need the help of the universe. You don't need reasons or persuasion. There's hardly anything that can stop you.
When you need to go to the toilet, you are unlikely to say: “I’m not sure if my choice is right. What if I made a mistake? What if I get tired along the way? Well, there must be some sign from the universe that I need it out of necessity. "
Hunting is the sign!
It also won’t occur to you to resist the hunt, following your logic: “I don’t have time for this now.” Or: “I shouldn’t have taken so long to go to bed - I’ll do what I set my mind to.” If you resist, you will leave a puddle underneath you. That's all philosophy is.
Your favorite activity is ingrained in you by hunting in the same way. You don't have to "want". Hunting is not born, it comes from under the rubbish of obligation, suppression, other people's debts, other people's stories. And then, released and washed, it will drag you along like a powerful diesel engine, the universe will barely keep up with help and gifts.
The path to your hunt is the path to yourself.
“I don’t know what I want” is too convenient a phrase for doing nothing. I carried it with me for years. Sometimes there is a real desire to relax behind it. Then rest. Sometimes there is a fear of admitting that you have already heard and understood everything, but you refuse to go. Then go for fear. More often than not, self-pity is behind it. Then you need to start with it.
Is it possible to poke around in search of your business, like our heroine? Of course, I always did this when my intuition was drowned out. By exclusion method. But it takes a long time. I know from myself, for a long time. It’s much faster to ask not headhunters what my next step is, but ask myself. And He Himself will answer.
He is already answering you. He tells you every day. We hear, but everything is wrong. Here Learn more about how to learn to hear yourself.
Have a good hunting!
Surely each of us at least once in our lives has found ourselves in a situation where we ask ourselves the question: what to do next? How to find a way out?
Sometimes we are visited by a feeling of dissatisfaction with what is happening in life, fear of the future. And at such moments there is a feeling that you don’t know what to do next.
The first thing to do in such a situation is to calm down and extinguish any negative emotions.
For acceptance important decisions you need to return your consciousness to a state of positivity, or at least calm. And only then think, analyze. Allow yourself to relax and be alone with yourself and your inner voice.
It's good to meditate and calm yourself down. Go to the park for a walk, take your mind off the hustle and bustle, contemplating the harmony of nature, and enjoy the wonderful moment here and now.
If possible, it’s very good to change the environment and go to some new place and get distracted. Watch a good film that will put you in a great mood, inspire, and boost your confidence.
Listen to good inspirational music. After all, music always emotionally relaxes and connects to the flow of creativity, bringing new thoughts and ideas into the mind.
When you have more or less calmed down, proceed to the second step.
Make a list of what you don't like and what makes you uncomfortable
What really doesn't suit you and what you want to get rid of. Analyze what led you to this situation. What conclusions can you draw from this life experience? And then let go of the past - it is no more.
Two monks were coming from the monastery. When they approached the river, they met a girl who asked to be transported to the other side.The monks were forbidden by vows to touch women, but nevertheless, one of them put her on his shoulders and carried her to the other side.
Then the monks continued their journey, and the girl continued hers.An hour later, one of the monks could not stand it and asked the other: “Why did you do this, because our vows prohibit touching women?” To which the second monk replied: “I carried it an hour ago, and you continue to carry it to this day.”
The third step is to turn to your inner voice.
And think about what thoughts evoke warmth and love in you. This is what is truly yours. Everything else is “garbage” that needs to be disposed of.
A parable on the topic...
God molded a man from clay, and he was left with an unused piece.
- What else do you need to make? - asked God.
“Make me happy,” the man asked.
God did not answer anything, but only placed the remaining piece of clay in the man’s palm.
Fourth step - write down on a piece of paper all possible solutions to the situation
After you have decided what is yours, write everything on a piece of paper possible options solutions to the situation that can only come to your mind and that will help you move towards your goals and desires.
Don’t hold back or limit yourself, think outside the box, because as Albert Einstein said: “You cannot solve a problem at the same level at which it arose. We need to rise above this problem by rising to the next level.”
Make a plan for the day, week, month. To do this, let go of yourself, your mind and give yourself free rein and freedom to your fantasies.
Fifth step - it is very important to take action
And realize your dreams and goals according to the plan. Here and now, start enjoying life, which will bring a joyful feeling to every moment.
Everyone is endowed with enormous power. Stop creating circumstances that interfere with your happiness, and start consciously managing reality. How to mold whatever you want from plasticine
Parable about circumstances
A student comes to the Teacher and says:
Teacher, I'm tired, I have such a hard life, such difficulties and problems, I'm always swimming against the tide, and I don't have any more strength... What should I do?
Instead of answering, the teacher put three identical pots of water on the fire, threw carrots into one, put an egg into another, and poured coffee into the third. After a while, he took the carrots and egg out of the water and poured coffee from the third pan into the cup.
What changed? - he asked the student.
The egg and carrots were cooked, and the coffee dissolved in the water,” the student answered.
No, not only that, this is just a superficial look at things. Look - hard carrots, having been in boiling water, became soft and pliable. The fragile and liquid egg became hard. Outwardly they have not changed, they only changed their structure under the influence of the same unfavorable circumstances - boiling water. Likewise, people who are strong outwardly can fall apart and become weaklings where the fragile and tender ones only harden and become stronger.
What about coffee? - asked the student.
ABOUT! This is the most interesting! Coffee dissolved in a new environment and changed it - it turned boiling water into a magnificent aromatic drink. There are special people who do not change due to circumstances - they change the circumstances themselves and turn them into something new and beautiful, extracting benefit and knowledge from the situation.
Finally, I will share one wise saying of the Buddha, who said: “There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path.”
So start today to transform your life into a path of happiness, no matter what direction you are moving in!