“Confession of a former novice” was written by Maria Kikot not for publication and not even so much for readers, but primarily for herself, for therapeutic purposes. But the story instantly resonated in the Orthodox RuNet and, as many noticed, had the effect of a bomb.

The story of a girl who lived for several years in one of the famous Russian convents, and her confession made a revolution in the minds of many people. The book is written in the first person and is devoted to perhaps the most closed topic - life in a modern monastery. It contains many interesting observations, discussions about monasticism and the similarity of church structures with a sect. But our attention was drawn to the chapter dedicated to those who went to the monastery... and took their children with them.

Maria Kikot in her book “Confession of a Former Novice” describes life in the monastery without embellishment, leaving the reader the right to draw their own conclusions

“Since we got up at 7, and not at 5 in the morning, like the sisters of the monastery, we were not allowed any rest during the day; we could only sit and rest at the table during the meal, which lasted 20–30 minutes.

All day the pilgrims had to be obedient, that is, do what the sister specially assigned to them said. This sister’s name was novice Kharitina, and she was the second person in the monastery - after Mother Cosma - with whom I had the opportunity to communicate. Invariably polite, with very pleasant manners, she was always with us somehow deliberately cheerful and even cheerful, but on her pale gray face with dark circles around her eyes we could see fatigue and even exhaustion. It was rare to see any emotion on her face other than the same half-smile all the time.

Mothers of children who grow up in a monastery orphanage are in a special position. They rest only three hours a week, on Sunday

Kharitina gave us tasks, what needed to be washed and cleaned, provided us with rags and everything necessary for cleaning, and made sure that we were busy all the time. Her clothes were rather strange: a faded gray-blue skirt, so old, as if it had been worn for ages, an equally shabby shirt of an incomprehensible style with holes in the frills, and a gray scarf that had probably once been black. She was the eldest in the “children’s room,” that is, she was responsible for the guest and children’s refectory, where they fed the children of the monastery orphanage, guests, and also organized holidays. Kharitina was constantly doing something, running around, herself, together with the cook and the refector, delivering food, washing dishes, serving guests, helping pilgrims.

Children in the Otrada shelter live on a full board basis and, in addition to basic school disciplines, study music, dancing, and acting.

She lived right in the kitchen, in a small room, similar to a kennel, located behind the front door. There, in this closet, next to the folding sofa where she slept at night, without undressing, curled up like an animal, various valuable kitchen items were stored in boxes and all the keys were kept.

Later I found out that Kharitina was a “mother,” that is, not a sister of the monastery, but rather something like a slave working off her huge unpaid debt in the monastery. There were quite a lot of “mothers” in the monastery, about half of all the sisters of the monastery.

“Moms” are women with children whom their confessors blessed for monastic feats. That's why they came here, to the St. Nicholas Chernoostrovsky Monastery, where there is an orphanage "Otrada" and an Orthodox gymnasium right within the walls of the monastery. Children here live on full board in a separate building of the orphanage, and, in addition to basic school disciplines, study music, dancing, and acting. Although the shelter is considered an orphanage, almost a third of the children in it are not orphans at all, but children with “mothers.”

“Moms” are held in special regard by Abbess Nikolai. They work in the most difficult obediences (cowshed, kitchen, cleaning) and, like the other sisters, do not have an hour of rest a day, that is, they work from 7 in the morning until 11–12 at night without rest, monastic prayer rule They have also replaced it with obedience (work). They attend liturgy in church only on Sundays. Sunday is the only day when they are entitled to 3 hours of free time during the day to communicate with the child or relax. Some people have not one, but two living in the shelter; one “mother” even had three children. At meetings, Mother often said to people like this: “You have to work for two. We are raising your child. Don't be ungrateful!

Kharitina had a daughter, Anastasia, at the orphanage, she was very young, then she was about one and a half to two years old. I don’t know her story, in the monastery the sisters are forbidden to talk about their lives “in the world,” I don’t know how Kharitina ended up in the monastery with such a small child. I don't even know her real name. From one sister I heard about unhappy love, failed family life, and Elder Blasius’ blessing to become a monk.

“Moms” get the hardest work and are constantly reminded that they must work for both – themselves and the child.

Most of the “mothers” came here this way, with the blessing of the elder of the Borovsky monastery Vlasiy or the elder of the Optina Hermitage Ilia (Nozdrina). These women were not special; many had both housing and Good work, some were with higher education, they just ended up here during a difficult period in their lives. All day long these “mothers” worked in difficult obediences, paying with their health, while the children were raised by strangers in the barracks environment of the orphanage.

Shelter "Otrada" at the St. Nicholas Chernoostrovsky Monastery. At least a third of the students there are not orphans at all.

On major holidays, when our Metropolitan of Kaluga and Borovsk Clement (Kapalin), or others came to the monastery important guests, Kharitina’s little daughter in a beautiful dress was brought up to them, photographed, she and two other little girls sang songs and danced. Plump, curly, healthy, she evoked universal affection.

Often “mothers” were punished if their daughters behaved badly. This blackmail lasted until the children grew up and left the orphanage, then the monastic or monastic tonsure of the “mother” became possible.

The abbess forbade Kharitina from frequently communicating with her daughter: according to her, it distracted her from work, and besides, the other children could be jealous.

The stories of all these “mothers” always caused me indignation. Rarely were these some dysfunctional mothers whose children had to be taken to a shelter.

Alcoholics, drug addicts and homeless people are not accepted into monasteries. As a rule, these were ordinary women with housing and work, many with higher education, who did not have a good family life with their “dads” and on this basis went crazy towards religion.

But confessors and elders exist precisely to guide people to the right way, simply “set people’s minds.” But it turns out the other way around: a woman who has children, imagining herself to be a future nun and ascetic, goes to such a confessor, and instead of explaining to her that her feat lies precisely in raising children, he blesses her to enter a monastery. Or, even worse, he insists on such a blessing, explaining that it is difficult to be saved in the world.

Then they say that this woman voluntarily chose this path. What does “voluntary” mean? We’re not saying that people who ended up in sects got there voluntarily? Here this voluntariness is very conditional. You can praise orphanages at monasteries as much as you like, but in essence they are all the same orphanages, like barracks or prisons with little prisoners who see nothing but four walls.

How can you send a child there who has a mother? Orphans from ordinary orphanages can be adopted, taken into foster family or into custody, especially small ones, they are in adoption databases. Children from monastery orphanages are deprived of this hope - they are not in any base. How is it even possible to bless women with children in monasteries? Why is there no legislation that would prohibit would-be confessors and elders from doing this, and abbess, like Nicholas’s mother, from exploiting them with pleasure? Several years ago, some kind of rule came out prohibiting the tonsuring of novices whose children have not reached the age of 18 into monasticism or monasticism. But it didn't change anything."

We have published the first part of the notes of our correspondent Zhanna Chul, who lived in monasteries for five years. First, in the rich and famous Voskresensky Novodevichy in St. Petersburg. Then - in poor Ioanno-Predtechenskoye, in Moscow. Today we are finishing publishing this unique text about modern monastic morals.

Zhanna Chul

“Come back immediately!”

I left the Novodevichy Convent in St. Petersburg because I didn’t have the strength to endure such a life. The myth about the good mother abbess was dispelled by her. It took me a long time to gather my courage, I went through possible options care Chance helped.

On September 30, Mother Superior Sophia celebrated Angel Day. Usually this holiday - the day of the holy martyrs Vera, Nadezhda, Lyubov and their mother Sophia - was equated in solemnity with the arrival of the patriarch at the monastery. For several days, the sisters did not have a free minute: they washed, cleaned, and bought a lot of products for a sumptuous meal. Garlands were woven from flowers and huge flower beds were made. The temple was decorated festively. The guests walked in a long line. Those of lower rank were received by the abbess in the church and in the sisters' refectory. Government officials and businessmen were treated to delicacies and liqueurs in her own house. Mother Sofia also gave her sisters a gift on her angel day. I gave each one a set: a book, an icon and a pack of tea. I didn’t come to the festive meal: I was on duty at the temple. And I didn’t really want to. My relationship with my mother was already tense.

My gift was brought to the temple by nun Olga. But by mistake I took a set for another novice. She shouted that she was left without a gift. The next day, Mother called nun Olga and me into her office. “Why did you bring her a gift? Are you her cell attendant? (Servants of persons of monastic rank. - Author),” she asked the trembling Olga menacingly. Without listening to our answers, she announced her verdict: “I am removing the apostolnik (headdress in female monasticism) from Olga, and I am sending Joanna home.” I turned around and left. She didn’t even react to the abbess’s cries addressed to me: “Come back!” Come back immediately." I went to pack my things. As a complete violation of human rights, as an act of distrust towards my sisters, I consider the fact that nuns are required to hand over their passports at the monastery. They are kept in an office safe: this gives the abbess a guarantee that the sister will not run away without a document. They didn’t return my passport for a long time. I had to threaten that I would come to the monastery with the police...

New monastery

At home I could not return to normal life for a long time. After all, in the monastery I was used to working seven days a week. Sometimes despite the pain and poor health. Regardless of the time of day and weather conditions. And although she was physically and mentally exhausted, she continued to get up at six in the morning out of habit. To keep myself busy and somehow figure out what to do next, I went to Strelna, to the Trinity-Sergius Hermitage. Attended services. She helped clean the temple and worked in the garden. The soul needed peace and rest, some kind of change. And I went on a two-week trip to Israel. I visited Jerusalem and the main places in the life of Jesus Christ: Nazareth in Galilee, Mount Tabor, washed myself in the Jordan River... When I returned, rested and enlightened, the desert priest Father Varlaam, in response to my question, what should I do next, blessed me to go to Moscow to John -Predtechensky Convent. I've never heard of him before. I found the address on the Internet. Got ready to go. Mom was crying. Just as bitter and inconsolable as three years ago, when I left for the Novodevichy Convent...

It was with difficulty that I found this monastery in Moscow and circled around it for a long time, although it was a five-minute walk from the Kitay-Gorod metro station to the monastery. When the doorbell rang, a friendly, pretty sister in black monastic robes came out onto the porch. She took me to Abbess Afanasia. I arrived just in time: in half an hour the abbess was leaving for the hospital, where she was to spend three weeks. When they led me up the stairs, I noted to myself how much devastation and dirt there was all around. And, of course, in the future I also constantly compared my life in the first monastery and in the present one.

Wilderness near the Kremlin

The sisters rarely saw Abbess Afanasia: either during divine services, or if she called her to her cell. Mother was seriously ill - she even had difficulty walking. So she sat all the time in her cell. The abbess did not come down to the common meal because of her sore legs. Three times a day, a particularly close woman, who worked as a hired cook, came up to her with a tray of food. Over the years in the monastery, she found an approach to the abbess; they had long conversations behind closed doors. From Natalya, the abbess learned all the news of the monastery and was aware of the life of the sisters. When Natalya had a day off, she was blessed to bring food to one of the sisters. And the abbess took the tray with empty dishes into the corridor and placed it on an aquarium with goldfish.

Compared to the Voskresensky Novodevichy monastery, this monastery was much simpler. Even though Ioanno-Predtechensky was located a ten-minute walk from the Kremlin, the poverty was as if the sisters lived in the wilderness of the forest. In Novodevichy I took a shower every day. And here they saved water. It came as a shock to the sisters and the abbess when they found out that I washed myself every day. As it turns out, a real monk takes a shower once a week (or better yet, twice!). The landline phone number was tapped. The same device stood in the dean’s cell, and at any second during the conversation one could hear the sniffling of the sister keeping order in the receiver: think about what you say and don’t be idle. The lights were turned off throughout the monastery before eleven o'clock in the evening. In Novodevichy, we had night lights burning in all the corridors. Of course, they called for careful handling of electricity, but not enough to check it at night. Abbess Sophia gave her blessing to hang a notice in the church: “The monastery has a debt for electricity of 3 million rubles. We ask parishioners to donate to pay off the debt.” And in Ioanno-Predtechenskoye they simply saved money...

In the room with a three-meter high ceiling where I was placed in the new monastery, rags of plaster hung down. The window was closed and half curtained,

as they do in the village, a gray, washed-out scum. The walls are smoked and

dirty. On the floor, between the rickety cabinets, there are heaters turned on at full power. Stale air: heavy smell of burnt air mixed with the smell of sweat and old things. As nun Anuvia later admitted to me, all these tables and cabinets were picked up from the trash heap.

Besides me, there are three other residents. Two nuns - Mother Alexy and Mother Innocent (later we had a constant struggle with her for open window. Even in warm weather, she ordered it to be closed - she was afraid of catching a cold) and novice Natalya. The room is partitioned off with ropes on which identical large pieces of fabric, gray with dirt, hang. Each sister has a candle or lamp burning behind the curtain. In my nook there is a bed, on the wall there is a woven carpet with the image of the Mother of God “Tenderness”. A chair, a table with sagging drawers, a bedside table. In the corner there is a shelf with icons and a lamp. I sank helplessly into a chair. I couldn't sleep that night. Behind the curtain I felt like I was in a hole. There was no air at all. The bed creaked pitifully. And all three of my neighbors, as soon as they lay down and turned off the light, began... to snore! It was a real nightmare. Fancy shadows from flickering lamps flitted across the ceiling. I couldn’t stand it and cried quietly. I managed to forget myself and fall into a heavy sleep only in the morning. As soon as I dozed off, the bell rang: rise!

Soup for beggars

To begin with, they gave me obedience - to photograph (for some reason no one wanted to pick up a camera) all the events and the internal life of the monastery, to help the cook in the kitchen prepare meals, to wash the dishes in the evenings. Sometimes I also washed the stairs leading up to the sisters' cells.

Later, I was entrusted with feeding the beggars at the gate. It was a morally difficult obedience. By two o'clock in the afternoon a table was brought out to the gate. Homeless people began to flock from all sides. We already knew many of them by sight, but those who found themselves in difficult life situations also came - for example, a person was robbed at a train station. At a strictly appointed hour, all these unfortunates hurried to the St. John the Baptist Monastery. This was also a huge difference between the two monasteries. In Novodevichy, despite all its luxury, those who ask will not receive a dry crust until they have worked. One day I was stopped by a ragged man who could barely stand on his feet from weakness. He only asked for bread. I turned to the sacristan for a blessing for this, who remained behind the eldest in the monastery while the abbess was away. She was inexorable: let him at least sweep the yard.

Beggars (they were affectionately called “poor people”) at the St. John the Baptist Monastery were given soup in a disposable plastic plate, two pieces of bread and liquid tea. Their hungry eyes lit up at the sight of food! The homeless were constantly in need of clothes and shoes. Therefore, a clothing circulation was established in the monastery. Parishioners brought unnecessary clothes. The beggars immediately snapped up the mittens, socks and hats they brought out, especially in the bitter cold of winter.

Massage for the rich

In the Novodevichy Convent for a long time Various organizations rented the premises. In addition to the payment, they gave the sisters gifts for the holidays. The cosmetics company Rive Gauche, for example, supplied the nuns with shampoos and shower gels. When the lease expired and the organizations did not renew it, the abbess began to look for a use for the vacant premises. I wanted to set up a family orphanage, but the sisters protested, fearing responsibility. Then, with the blessing of Patriarch Kirill, Sofia set up a bishop's hotel in these premises. Each cell rivaled the most expensive worldly hotel in its luxury of furniture and utensils. The floor is covered with a fluffy bright carpet. In the refectory, in a huge cell, canaries chattered merrily. On the lower floor there is a sauna, a massage chair and even a swimming pool. The toilets in especially luxurious cells were illuminated and had washing and massage functions, even an “enema” function was provided... And in Ioanno-Predtechenskoe at that time there were not enough deep bowls for soup for all the eaters! And the toilets were from Soviet times - to flush the water, you had to pull a string.

The fate of a ballerina

Man is still an amazing creature: how much can he endure!? But, as they say, everyone is given a cross within their strength. The nun Eusevia, with whom I had to share both my cell and obedience during the first days, is a frail woman of fifty years old. At the time we met her, her monastic experience was seventeen years. It is interesting that in the past she graduated from the Leningrad Choreographic School named after A. Ya. Vaganova and was a ballerina Mariinsky Theater. She went to the monastery on the eve of the theater’s important long tour to Japan... Her main obedience was as a senior prosphora girl. I had the opportunity to work in the prosphora for the first month. Without exaggeration I will say: baking prosphora is the hardest work.

Those who have obedience there get up earlier than everyone else. They don’t go to the morning service - in the prosphora itself they light a lamp in front of the icon of Jesus Christ and read prayers. And only after that they start working.

We spent the whole day in the prosphora: from 6 am to 16-17 pm. All this time - on my feet. There is no time to sit down - while one batch of prosphora is being baked, another needs to be cut out of the dough. We had lunch hastily and dry. Here, perched on the edge of the cutting table. The small room is very hot and stuffy. The baking trays with the “tops” and “bottoms” of the prosphoras are heavy - made of iron. Future prosphora must be cut out very carefully, according to a strictly defined size, otherwise they will turn out lopsided, and this is a defect. Mother Eusevia was indispensable in this obedience. I wondered: where did she, so sick and fragile, get so much strength? After all, the list of her obediences was not limited to work in the prosphora. She was also an assistant cellarer (the head of the refectory), she helped in the sewing workshop, and she was assigned to do church work in the church (monitoring the candles and the cleanliness of the icons). After running through obediences, I was so tired that at the end of the day I fell on the bed in my cell and instantly fell asleep. And behind the curtain, Eusebius’s mother read endless prayers, canons, akathists, and lives for half the night.

Accident in the prosphora

Serious troubles also happened: the sisters became distracted from constant fatigue and lack of sleep and could break an arm or leg. Novice Natalya (I was surprised when I found out that she was only 25 years old: with a headscarf pulled right over her eyes, with rough skin, constantly frowning, she gave the impression of a grandmother over 60...) was preparing to become a nun, and the wait for tonsure is treacherous and full of temptations - this is so natural in the monastery that it no longer surprises anyone. One day, Natalya crushed her left hand while rolling out dough with a machine. Eusebius's mother was with her, and her story of what happened made her skin crawl with horror.

Mother Eusevia kneaded the dough: she poured sifted flour, dry yeast, salt into a large vat, and added Epiphany water. Suddenly, a heartbreaking scream was heard behind her. She turned around: her assistant was writhing in pain, and instead of a brush she had a bleeding piece of meat. Ambulance took Natasha to the hospital. The operation was urgently performed. The hand took a long time to heal. But something switched in Natasha’s head: she suddenly began to talk. The girl said terrible things: she either blamed her sisters for hurting her hand because of their witchcraft, or she assured that the treasurer’s mother, Anuvia, had overloaded her with work and “wants to make a boy out of her.” The older sisters noticed in time that something was wrong with Natalya. The tonsure was canceled, and the girl herself was sent home: “rest and restore your health.”

In a special position

The treasurer and builder of the monastery, nun Anuvia, previously worked as an archaeologist and led expeditions in the near abroad. She constantly promised her sisters: next spring we will definitely move to a new building. Each will have their own cell! Spring came, followed by summer, autumn came... everything remained unchanged. The sisters lived in cramped conditions and dirt. Treasurer is a kind and cheerful woman. But she herself lived in her apartment on the outskirts of Moscow. With his son, his wife and three grandchildren. She did not live in the monastery for a single day - she came three or four times a week: she would serve at the altar during the service, walk around the monastery - and again into the world. She had a separate cell: she needed to store her things somewhere, gifts from parishioners, change from secular dress to monastic vestments for worship... She drove her own car. Every year she promised both the abbess and the confessor: “ Last year I live like this! I’ll settle in the monastery for good.” The next year came and the story continued.

The tiles in the shower were peeling, and the hatch was constantly getting clogged - the sisters kept falling out. long hair and hammered the bars. No one was in a hurry to clean up after themselves, much less after your sister, who was washing in front of you. The person in charge of the shower room was cursing and posting notices admonishing sluts. One day, desperate to shout out to her untidy sisters, she hung a lock on the door for a couple of days. In the bakery, red cockroaches danced in circles at night. During the day, dough was rolled out on these tables for pies and baked goods, which were sold in a tent next to the monastery. I once went into a bakery late in the evening to read a book (in the cells the lights had long been turned off, you couldn’t even light a candle). Turned on the light. Cockroaches splashed in different directions...

It's harder to leave than to come

However, it was not the difficulties of everyday life that drove me from the monastery. When decisions have been made for you for years, and your job is small - to fulfill obedience without thinking, you lose the habit of thinking and feel powerless to coherently express your thoughts and desires. I started to get scared of myself - I realized that I was starting to think poorly. And I also wanted activity. And freedom. I have already expressed my desire to my sisters more than once. While leaving home on vacation, she voiced it and raised the issue for consideration by the monastery administration. About ten days later, I received a text message on my phone (at St. John the Baptist Monastery, given the difficult living conditions, the sisters were allowed to use mobile phones and the Internet) saying that they were blessing me to leave. It was necessary to collect things, hand over books and clothes to the library. The sisters said a touching goodbye. They invited me to come back in a year. Temporarily I moved to an apartment with friends. But whenever I entered the monastery, I was greeted warmly and even treated to lunch. I received calls throughout the next year. But seeing a familiar number, I didn’t pick up. I wanted to forget everything that happened to me. But it turned out to be not so easy. Even in my dreams I returned to the monastery.

The first days I didn’t believe my luck. I will sleep as much as I want! I can eat whatever I want (I lived without meat for five years and when I tried it for the first time after a long break, it seemed to me that I was chewing rubber). And most importantly, from now on I am my own abbess. My family at home welcomed me with open arms! But it took a whole year before I started to get back to normal. human life. Firstly, I couldn’t get enough sleep: no matter how much I slept, it wasn’t enough for me. Twelve, fourteen hours a day - I still felt tired and overwhelmed. I fell asleep in the theater during a performance, during lectures at a photography school (where I entered because I fell in love with photography in the monastery and wanted to continue this activity in the world), in transport - as soon as I sat down or even leaned against something, my eyes suddenly went away. were closing.

During the first months it was difficult to concentrate and even clearly formulate my thoughts. In the monastery, if we had a free half hour, we would sit on a bench in the garden, silently and with folded hands, breathing the air - rejoicing at the outstanding break. I had neither the strength nor the desire to read or talk. One of the nuns at the monastery taught me how to weave a rosary. And the monastery brought benefits (the rosary went for sale in the monastery shop), and all this was some kind of change in activity. This activity helped me out when I returned to the world: I took my wickerwork to church and even received some money for it. Some kind of help for life.

In a word, going to the monastery turned out to be much easier morally than leaving it...

You decided to learn about life in a monastery because you yourself decided to devote your life to God or you are simply interested in how they live in monasteries, and rightly so, because it means you are getting closer to God and the Orthodox Faith. In fact, life in a monastery is quite different from worldly life outside the walls of the monastery. We recommend that you familiarize yourself with

LIFE IN THE MONASTERY

WORKERS

If a person wants to live in a monastery for some time and get to know its life better, experience all the difficulties of monastic life, he can come to the monastery and talk to its abbot with a request to be accepted as a worker in the monastery for a while. And, if you convince the abbot of the monastery that you are worthy of such a rank, you will be accepted as a worker and provided with everything necessary for life in the monastery. At this time, while you wear the rank of a worker, you will have to do all the work that will be entrusted to you, most likely it will be the most difficult and unpleasant work, so that you learn humility and suppress anger in yourself.

DISCUSSIONS

This rank is worn by people who have decided to go to a monastery, but have not yet earned the blessing to become a monk, so to speak, these are those people who learn obedience and humility, who must learn to live without thoughts of sinful and worldly pleasures. If a person copes with this teaching, then he is blessed and tonsured a monk; as a rule, this happens within no more than five years from the moment he entered the monastery, although it can happen longer. We recommend that you read

MONKS

These are the people who live in a monastery in the likeness of Christ, free from all family ties, without a roof over their head, wandering, living in poverty and spending their nights in prayer. So, the closer the monks are to Christ and his life, the closer they are to God. Living in incompleteness and inferiority, they acquire something else, and this other thing is the Lord God himself.

JOY OR SADness

Life in a monastery should not only carry sorrow, sadness, and especially humiliation. The fact that it is pleasant for a person to live in a monastery suggests that life in a monastery is correct, and if monks, novices and workers experience constant humiliation and insults, this is no longer monastic life, but the torment of hell during life. Only the fact that the monks do not leave the monastery indicates that life in the monastery is real, called to serve the Lord God, and you will live well and pleasantly there. We recommend that you read

TEACHING

As in life, monks living life in a monastery must study science, for example, painting, music, literature, so every monk, in his free time from serving, can either rest or study.

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Monastic life is hidden from prying eyes and does not allow idle, curious intrusion. It `s naturally. Mythical stereotypes are often formed around what is unknown. It is explainable. Most often they have little to do with reality. It is a fact. So, figuratively speaking, let’s separate the wheat from the chaff.

The most common misconceptions.

1. Becoming a nun is as easy as shelling pears, just one desire is enough.

Of course, going to the monastery is a voluntary matter, based on the girl’s desire to leave the world and devote herself to monastic life. But between the time she first sets foot on the territory of the monastery and her monastic tonsure, a lot of time passes.

Often girls travel to different monasteries and get acquainted with their statutes, which, although not radically, are still different from each other. After the choice in favor of one or another monastery is made, the “candidate” turns to the abbess (mother superior) with a request to accept her. Most often, the girl is left to live in the monastery, but as... a pilgrim. She has the opportunity to attend sister services, a common meal (however, she sits at a special table for pilgrims), becomes more deeply acquainted with life in the monastery, and helps in general obediences. The sisters and the authorities at the monastery (no one hides this) are taking a closer look at the new girl.

If it becomes clear that the girl is not influenced by immediate circumstances, but shows diligence in prayer, listens to advice, forces herself to be humble, and so on, the abbess, together with the older sisters, decide to accept her into the monastery. She still attends the common meal, participates in sisterhood services, and is assigned constant obedience.

They remain as a novice for at least three years. After this (or more) time has passed, a petition is submitted to the ruling bishop and abbess for tonsure. The first degree of tonsure is monasticism (during which monastic vows are not yet pronounced). After it, the “form” changes again. The nuns wear a cassock with long sleeves, an apostolnik and a klobuk (a headdress with a black transparent “veil”). In monastic tonsure, a different name is often given, as this symbolizes the birth of a new person for spiritual life.

But the so-called mantle tonsure is actually monasticism. During it, three main monastic vows are publicly given: non-covetousness (not to have anything of your own), obedience, chastity (celibacy). In addition, the “newborn” nun dresses in a robe consisting of many folds. It means the protecting and covering power of God. And the fact that the mantle does not have sleeves means that the monastic, as it were, does not have hands for vain worldly activities, for sin. When walking, the mantle flutters like wings.

2. Everyone without exception is accepted into the monastery.

This is wrong. People who are married, as well as women with minor children, cannot enter the monastery. Moreover, it is desirable that children, even after reaching 18 years of age, so to speak, stand firmly on their feet. In some Greek monasteries there is a rule not to accept after 30 years. In Russian monasteries there is no such strict rule, but preference is still given to young people. This is due to the fact that with age it is more difficult for a person to change, it is more difficult to obey, it is more problematic to revise life principles, and to humble oneself. Let's say there was a woman in the world who was a specialist with a higher education, and in the monastery she was asked to wash the floor. She is perplexed by this. The example is conditional, but similar things happen in the life of monasteries.

As, however, the opposite also happens. Women enter the monastery at an advanced age, and then become an example for the sisters in obedience, diligence in prayer, and humility.

3. They pray in the monastery all day, from morning to night.

Life in the monastery is subject to a fairly strict routine, and more than six hours a day are devoted to prayer. But in addition to prayer, all sisters also perform daily obediences. Our Ekaterinburg Novo-Tikhvinsky convent can be called “industrial”. There are famous icon-painting, sewing workshops, Greco-Slavic and historical rooms here. In addition, the nuns perform singing obedience (by the way, they revive ancient chants, both Russian and Greek).

Smaller (besides the basic) obediences are distributed by the dean (special position). It is she who decides who will do the laundry today, who will sweep the yard, who will wash the floors...

They wake up at the monastery at 3.30. The monastery strives to dedicate the beginnings of the day to God: at 4 a.m. everyone gathers in the church for the morning service. The service ends at 7.00, and from this time the sisters have free time, during which the sisters can pray, read, and relax. At 9.30 the nuns go to the refectory for lunch, singing. After lunch, the sisters go to obediences, which they perform until 16.00 with a break for a small afternoon snack. Then Vespers is celebrated, after which the sisters again go to dinner with the singing of liturgical hymns. After dinner until 18.30 – free time. Next is Little Compline, after which the so-called silence begins, when everyone, without exception, remains silent. At 19.00 everyone goes to their cells, where they fulfill their monastic rule, devoting this time only to spiritual pursuits - reading and prayer.

The number of sisters of the monastery is increasing (today 150 people live here), but the living space has not yet been increased. Therefore, the nuns are forced to sleep on bunk beds, 5-6 people per cell. The exception is senior nuns and schema nuns, who have separate cells.

4. Nuns do not communicate with the outside world or with each other.

Idle talk, of course, is not welcome in the monastery. But the sisters communicate with each other constantly. Quarrels, of course, do not happen here, but disagreements - people remain people - sometimes do happen. But mutual grievances and misunderstandings are not a heavy burden to bear the next day; the sisters are reconciled before sunset. “Forgive” is one of the most important monastic words.

Indeed, there are no fascinating things in the monastery secular novels, and televisions. But not because it is FORBIDDEN. But because nuns have NO need for this. It is difficult for people living in the world to understand this. It remains to be taken for granted. The fact remains: if you put a TV, say, in the monastery foyer, and put newspapers, magazines and other secular literature out for public access, none of the nuns will even raise an eyebrow, become interested or look. No one here has any heart for this.

But the sisters read spiritual literature greedily. There is even a queue for new books.

6. In the monastery they live on bread and water.

Despite the fact that the nuns observe all fasts, do not eat meat, and do not eat animal products on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, their diet cannot be called meager. The menu for the month in advance is approved by the abbess.

Of course, there are no snacks in the monastery. In the sense that, passing by the refectory, no one would think of grabbing something tasty. Simply because it is not accepted. But, when you get tired while doing obedience, you can drink coffee or tea. By the way, for those sisters who are on a diet for health reasons, separate dishes are prepared and they eat according to an individual schedule.

7. Nuns are prohibited from visiting doctors.

Medical assistance to nurses, if necessary, is mandatory. One of the nuns of the monastery is a doctor by profession. Healing is her main obedience. But, if one of the sisters requires a more in-depth examination, the monastery goes to the hospital. In some cases, doctors themselves come to the monastery. The monastery does not neglect any means of combating the disease. After all, as they say here, an illness distracts from the main thing and does not allow one to lead a normal spiritual life. Why endure fruitless torment if you have a headache, when you can take a pill and then have the strength to both pray and work?

Rada BOZHENKO

We thank the sisters of the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery for their help in preparing the material.

Just like yesterday, at 6:00 the alarm clock man came to see us. Came in, woke me up, left. This time I woke up very hard. I didn't sleep well. I went outside. Warm. There is no wind. You can hear the chirping of birds and the “morning dawn” of a rooster from the farm. I went to the temple to look for the abbot. Valery is fussing around the icon shop; he learned from him that the rector is still in town and will be there sometime after lunch. I looked at the schedule - I need to help on the farm for the whole day. I was a little upset, because my plans were to mind my own business.
I went to the temple. It's dark as usual. Several monks in their black robes sit on chairs waiting for the service to begin. So the captain arrived in time. He stood in the far corner, took his rosary out of his pocket, fiddled with it and muttered something under his breath. The service began as scheduled, at 6:30 the same monotonous singing flowed through the temple. I decided not to stay in the service until the end. At 7:10 I decided to leave to film the preparation for breakfast.
Andrey is on duty in the refectory today.

Worker Vitaly as an assistant. Took a few shots.

General shots of the "kitchen".
I decided to try my luck at the service, maybe I could shoot something else there. I entered the temple just as the captain was reading aloud. I took a couple of shots. I sat down on the bench. I'm waiting for the end of the service. I decided to work on the farm for a maximum of an hour, and then break my obedience and go about my work. At 7:40 my stomach gave a loud “boo-boo-boo” alert. It's time to have breakfast. Soon the rumbling of the stomach merged with the rumbling of prayers. The service is over. I hurried to breakfast. It's 8:30 am. Home tomorrow morning. I plan to take the morning ferry. I really want to capture the city at the first rays of sun. Still no abbot. What if he doesn’t come back today?! What then?! I really need him, I need his blessing so that I can photograph the monks’ cells, visit the prosphora, possibly the altar, and take a few shots with him. In the meantime, I’ll go to the farm to fulfill my errand. On the way, the phone vibrated again. There is a connection! To celebrate, I sent several SMS, called and answered a couple of letters. Andrey met me at the farm. He said to sweep the yard again.
Along the way, he helped Vasily carry a heavy can of milk to the gatekeeper. Returned to his work. To the side, Andrei is kneading a brew for the livestock. Someone is messing with the cows. Tomorrow a journalist will arrive and interview the abbot of the monastery. Well, we’ll go back to the city together. Almost a third of the farm has already been swept away. It’s time to start our direct work – collecting material.
First of all, I went to the most talkative inhabitant of the monastery - Father Valery. He was reading a book in the icon shop. He willingly agreed to comment. Father Valery is a novice at the church. Lives in the monastery for about a year, performs the duties of a church shopkeeper. Novice Valery is 51 years old. I had never interviewed people in my life, so I only asked questions that specifically interested me. For a long time I could not understand why people throw away their lives, leave a comfortable civilized society and go to a monastery.
“People go to the monastery for several reasons. The best and most worthy reason is, of course, love for God. An inseparable search for the living God and dedicate all your strength, all your zeal, all your labors only to him alone. Give him your whole heart so that it will always be in the Lord. There is another reason, this reason is repentance. This is a person when he has exhausted all his life resources that he had in the world. He became weak, he squandered his spiritual wealth, he squandered the talents that the Lord had given him. Left, as they say, naked, the soul remained naked, the soul remained hungry, the soul remained unwarmed. And then, having come to his senses, a person repents and seeks such paths of repentance that would further contribute to this repentance and here is the most convenient, convenient, most convenient place, the most convenient path. To go through the path of repentance, the path of purification, the path of salvation,” Valery answered my question, “Well, for me, the monastery is the house of God, it is the home Holy Mother of God, this is my calling."
That's it. Next I had to go to the pasture to take some shots of the shepherd with the cows. Walk a short distance to the local cemetery. Having left the monastery, I felt a certain freedom, even breathing became a little easier. Having reached the coastline, I saw the outlines of a foggy city in the distance. Vladivostok. In addition, 3G Internet appeared on the phone. I was able to download a couple of Instagrams, answer all the emails and messages on social networks.
With the player in his ears, he slowly walked through the cemetery to the pasture. An ordinary meadow, there are cows lying in the meadow, I counted about 10 of them.
A shepherd in a green military suit. Sacred music plays quietly from the receiver. Worker Valery played the role of a shepherd today.
Took a few shots. They called from work. Long negotiations led to the fact that, without noticing it, he reached the monastery, forgetting to interview Valery.
Entering the territory of the monastery, I noticed Father Spiridon tinkering with a ZIL truck. He didn't mind me taking pictures of him.

He took several good shots, asked about what it was like to be a monk, what responsibilities fall on his shoulders, how obediences are distributed.
“The monastic lifestyle is renunciation of the world. This is the fulfillment of God’s commandments, but above all – one’s monastic vows. The monastic vow is a vow of obedience, a vow of celibacy, a renunciation of the world. Man left the world in order to become closer to God; nothing stopped him. Work in the monastery is distributed in such a way that everyone has some kind of obedience. The cook cooks for everyone. They are working in the barnyard. The handyman accepts and distributes things, washes, irons, also for everyone. It turns out that everyone does their own work, but all this work of everyone is included in the general obedience for organizing prayer and life in the monastery. But above all, it is salvation. The goal of monasticism is to save yourself and the whole world through prayer. And above all, the salvation of your soul. As the Russian proverb said: “Save yourself, thousands around you will be saved.” Life according to God's commandments, far from the world. The goal of a monk is to unite with God in this world and the future,” Father Spyridon concluded his thought by comparing monastic life with the life of a soldier. Hard daily work to ensure the life of the monastery as a whole. Having finished with the questions, I decided to climb onto the roof of the building under construction. Perhaps it will offer a good view of the monastery territory. Uzbeks are working at the construction site, I didn’t take pictures of them.
It is planned to house a garage, utility rooms, refectories, Sunday school, cells, etc. in this building.

Privratnitskaya
Apiary
Monastic cells
Afterwards I headed to the farm, I need to find out about the number of livestock on the farm. At the same time I asked several questions. Laborer Andrey. 26 years. In the monastery for six months. I asked just one question: “What is the purpose of coming to the monastery?” He answered slowly and hesitantly, probably embarrassed. Don't know. Well, the goal was to look for internal habits, awareness of life, to become more involved in the church, to compare oneself with people who have gone through the spiritual path, and against their background to see one’s differences from them. I’m not ready for monastic life yet, but I’m looking closely.
Our conversation was interrupted by the ringing of the bell - lunch. Long awaited lunch. I have never walked around the temple grounds so quickly before. For lunch today there is vegetable soup, horns, mushrooms and salad. Tea or compote to choose from.

Prayer before meals.
After lunch, I went to my cell to decipher everything that I managed to write down. We need to wait for the abbot.
After completing the work, I decided to check the presence of Father Peterim at the apiary. This time I was lucky.
The monk was busy with the bees, prepare the hive for feeding the bees. At the same time, I asked him about the construction of a new building on the territory of the monastery. According to Peterim, the abbot plans to place there a Sunday school, refectories, a car garage, a warehouse, as well as several cells for monks.
Next we talked about the apiary itself. On this moment There are 44 hives on the farm.

They asked me to help. They dressed me in a white robe and put a special panama hat with mesh on my head. The work was simple, you just had to separate the pieces from the hive and place them on the ground. This had to be done very carefully, because... Bees really don't like the sound of knocking. There were no casualties.
Then I went to help prepare syrup for the bees. Two buckets of water are poured into the can, then everything is filled with sugar, in a ratio of 2 to 1 (2 kg of sugar per 1 liter of water). After this, mix everything very thoroughly. A simple sugar syrup is formed, slightly thick. Bees love sweets. The syrup is then poured into the kettle and fed into the feeder. That's all. The last task was very simple, to help take out the plywood with wax. Vladimir prepares it for making candles. That's it, time to run to work. Then the long-awaited dinner. I really want to eat. The service itself lasted 30 minutes. Hence the late dinner. After eating, traditional rules. After the rules, I managed to agree with the rector about tomorrow’s interview, and at the same time informed me about my departure tomorrow. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to photograph the cell. They said that I already have so much that a simple layman would not see. Now free time and lights out as usual. Took a few shots of the library.

Tomorrow we get up at 6 am sharp, and by 9 am we need to get on the ferry to meet the journalist. Stay somewhere for an hour and a half, wait for the end of the service in order to interview the rector. And that’s it... It will be possible to say goodbye to everyone and go to the mainland. First of all, I’ll go to the editorial office, then to the bar, later I need to pay a fine for a loan, pay off another loan... In general, do ordinary worldly things... Again plunge into the world of bustle, problems, city traffic... But this is my world, my element. I feel comfortable living in this city bustle. Although the monastery is not so bad. No problem at all. There is obedience, you fulfill it. Everything is strictly on time. There is practically no free time; there is always work to be done. This was a small indulgence for me, because... I had a work visit. Okay, this is where I finish the description of the third day. Tomorrow is a new day. New impressions. Home tomorrow.