In addition, the woman in the family also plays the role of homemaker. The book of Proverbs says: “She oversees the management of her house and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Prov. 31:10-31).
After all, in order for the fireplace not to go out, it is necessary to constantly, precisely constantly, add firewood to it, then the fire will burn and warm the house.
We can also say that a woman adds firewood to the fire of family relationships, especially with her husband. Not only home comfort, tasty and appetizing food, cleanliness and order in the house, but the very atmosphere in it largely depends on it. Those subtle emotions, feelings, subtle threads and facets that are not visible to the naked eye, but are felt by family members and guests.
Why is it warm and cozy, joyful and hospitable, sincere and comfortable in one family, while in another there is tension, insincerity, understatement, hypocrisy, coldness and mistrust?
Of course, not everything depends only on the woman. Just as every instrument is important in an orchestra, every person in a family is important, even relatives living separately, since they also directly or indirectly influence family relationships.
But a lot actually depends on the woman. From her skill and patience to maintain that fire in the family hearth, which will warm them all, and around which they will want to gather. A fire to which grown children and grandchildren will flock for holidays and family celebrations. It is a woman who, with her firewood of affection, wisdom, patience, understanding, forgiveness, trust, respect, love, care and much more, can support that individual fire in the family.
After all, his husband has no time to support him. In prosperous and proper families, the husband is busy at work, and in the evenings and on weekends he comes to warm up and relax by this fire, restore strength for new exploits and achievements, hold his wife in his arms and his children and grandchildren on his knees. . He brings what they can eat, what to wear, how to relax and how to be calm in their financial and everyday future. But he needs something for which he will try and work. And this is not only the physical presence of a wife, children, grandchildren as such. This is the presence of that home, that emotional fire, that gentle and warm family atmosphere that he can call his own - his family and his home.
“The calling of a wife to be a manager in her home in no way negates the husband’s role as a leader and does not negate the wife’s duty to submit to him.” It is such a wife that is worthy of praise from her husband: “There were many virtuous wives, but you surpassed them all!” (Prov. 31:29).
2012-02-29 website
One of the most important rituals at a wedding is the lighting of the family hearth. We will talk about the essence of this tradition and how to perform the ritual correctly.
The ritual of lighting the family hearth of newlyweds has its roots in the distant past and has spread to many countries. In Russia, this tradition has existed for at least 500 years. As is usually the case, there are several options for carrying it out. But no matter what option you choose, the essence will remain the same.
The essence of the ritual
With the birth of a new family, a new unit of society, it is necessary to “kindle” the family hearth so that warmth, comfort, and well-being always reign in the house. The symbol of a happy family life is fire, which must be transferred from the parental family to the new one.
Participants of the ceremony
The keepers of the hearth have always been women, the mistresses of the house, so either only the mother-in-law (husband's mother) or both mothers of two families should pass on the fire. The fire is passed on to the bride, the future mistress of the house, so that she will carefully preserve the family hearth throughout her life.
Attributes of the ritual
In the first case, you will need one candle for the mother-in-law and one large and beautiful candle for the newlyweds. If both families are happily married, an excellent option for performing the ritual would be the transfer of fire from two mothers - both husband and wife. In this case, you will need two candles for mothers and one for newlyweds.
It is also necessary to prepare a “speech”, wishes that must be said to the newlyweds before the solemn lighting of a single candle for a new family.
We present some options found on the Internet below.
Parting words for newlyweds during the ceremony.
Option 1. The poem can be recited by mothers together or in turn, as well as by the toastmaster
A custom came to us from our ancestors:
Bring fire to the newlyweds' house,
To make them feel welcome and familiar,
The hearth of the family is a symbol of great love.
Well, now let’s light the family hearth,
Let a life-giving fire flare up in him.
It is not the gods who burn clay pots,
The two of you are responsible for happiness and love.
We give you, young people, a family hearth,
And let the fire of love burn unquenchable,
Like the light in the eyes, like the heart of a person,
So that you can forever and from now on,
Light a big fire on a small flame,
And bake a large bread with a little flour.
Option 2. Touching congratulation newlyweds from their mothers, pronounced by the toastmaster, will not leave a single person indifferent
I carried it under my heart,
She grew from her heart,
The hand is shaking and there is a reason -
Today my mother is marrying her son!
I carried it under my heart,
She grew from her heart,
Look how all the people froze -
After all, the mother is giving away her daughter!
Keep the fire of your love,
Through the years, through the centuries!
Take care of your love,
You are together forever.
Remember this minute
Let it be sacred:
From now on - not a friend and girlfriend,
From now on you are husband and wife!
Option 3. Simple, sweet congratulations, pronounced by mothers and toastmasters
Before lighting the “family hearth” Mom 1:
A serious and important step -
Create a home.
But we need to light it up
With the help of our candles.
After lighting the “family hearth” Mom 2:
You lit the family hearth,
From now on and forever!
Let it burn like a light in the eyes,
Like the heart in a person.
Leading:
Keep the fire of the native hearth,
Without vying for other people's fires, -
Our ancestors lived by this law
And they bequeathed to us through the centuries:
Sacred is the fire of the native hearth!
Option 4. Parable of the teacher and three disciples
Once upon a time, a wise teacher ordered his three students to fill the cave with light and warmth. The first student, the smartest, brought a lot of gold there. There was almost no light from the precious metal, and even less heat. The second, most cunning student brought silver into the house. It dimly illuminated the cave, but there was still no heat. The third, the most resourceful student, lit a fire in the cave, causing the pitch darkness to recede, and the cave was illuminated with a bright flame and filled with warmth.
Since then, our ancestors have been lighting the hearth of a young family with their own candles, passing on their love and wisdom.
Option 5
Happiness decided to leave one house. It's hard to say why, but it decided. “But first,” said happiness, “I will fulfill one wish of each member of the family in which I lived for many years. What do you want?" - Happiness asked the hostess of the house. And she replied that she did not have a mink coat, and the hostess received a fur coat.
Happiness asked the adult daughter of the hostess: “What do you want?” - and she replied that she wanted to marry an overseas prince - and she married an overseas prince. Happiness asked the owner’s son: “What do you want?” “I want,” he says, “a bicycle, I will be happy if there is a bicycle,” and the boy got a bicycle.
And already on the threshold of the house, happiness saw the owner and asked: “What do you want?” The owner thought and said: “I want the warmth of the family hearth to never leave my house.” And happiness fulfilled the owner’s request and did not leave this house, because happiness lives only where the family hearth burns.
Option 6
“Once upon a time in prehistoric times, primitive man decided to get married. He found himself a bride. The whole tribe came to have fun at their wedding, after which the newlyweds went to their new two-room cave. At the entrance, the man, like a true primitive gentleman, let his wife go first?? and was left without a wife because a hungry lion was hiding in the cave. The man decided to get married again, found himself a new bride and got married again. At the entrance to the cave, the primitive husband again let his wife go ahead and was again left without a wife, because she stumbled in the dark, fell and was broken. The man married for the third time, but now, before bringing his wife into his cave, he lit a fire there. The woman safely entered his house, warmed up and became the keeper of this hearth. Since then, men, before bringing a wife into the house, kindle a family hearth in it!”
Procedure
The parental candle must be lit in advance by the father of the family a few minutes before the ritual begins. It will be best if the parents bring their wedding candle, which their parents once lit at the wedding of the newlyweds. But if the candle is not preserved or has burned out, then any white candle will do.
The newlyweds must simultaneously take one common candle - a large white candle, beautifully decorated and prepared in advance. The bride takes the candle with her left hand, and the groom with his right.
After this, parents say congratulations and parting words. If both mothers of families hold candles, then before lighting the young couple’s home with candles, it is necessary to combine the two flames into one, and then light the young couple’s candle.
Parents should immediately extinguish their candles, but the newlyweds' hearth should burn until the bride takes off her veil.
Candle storage
Lighting the family hearth from a parental candle is the key to mutual understanding and happiness in the family. After the wedding, the newlyweds must keep their candle until their children find happiness.
The Unity Candle is a talisman for a newborn family. Which must be lit on your wedding anniversary, as well as at the birth of children and on memorable dates for you.
The talisman will also help restore harmony and happiness in the family: light a candle for at least a couple of minutes in such difficult moments, when there are quarrels in your family, or an illness has befallen you or your children, and happiness will not keep you waiting.
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Giving gifts at a wedding is an old tradition. With the help of a gift, you can express feelings of love and respect, thank a person, or simply show that you have not forgotten about a significant event. And it is doubly pleasant to receive gifts that are beautifully decorated.
Today, being a good wife is not in fashion; it is more prestigious to be a business-minded and independent woman, and even better to have an “open” relationship. It’s easy and convenient: you answer to no one, you live for your own pleasure, no responsibility. But the interesting fact is that somewhere deep inside a woman still wants a serious relationship, she wants to take care of someone, bring tenderness, warmth and affection. Why? From time immemorial, a woman was considered the “keeper of the hearth.” So this essence breaks through.
When we say “home” we immediately imagine a house in which comfort and a good atmosphere reign. Creating such an atmosphere in the family and maintaining it is a woman’s primary task. It is a noble cause to make those closest to you feel good and comfortable. No one can solve this problem better than a woman. The Lord Himself assigned this role in the family to the woman. And she can only realize it if she loves her family and the house in which she lives. This is often difficult, because you need to love everyone equally at the same time, without exaggerating or emphasizing feelings for some over feelings for others. For example, after the birth of a child, wives, due to increased workload, often weaken their love for their husband and, on the contrary, show special love for the baby, this is a huge mistake. Such extremes never lead to anything good.
Loving your family and taking care of your home means joyfully fulfilling all the responsibilities associated with this, bearing worries and difficulties, showing attention and care to both your children and your husband, his affairs, providing him with support and encouragement. Many women can capture a man’s heart, but not all women can make this heart grateful, sensitive, loving and always happy in their family. Being a keeper of the hearth means not only being a good mother, but also preserving the best qualities of your husband and inspiring him to improve them.
Nowadays, it seems that people in their selfishness are losing the most important thing. We work hard to buy beautiful houses, but we miss the fact that many of them will not be visited. The result is isolation, isolation, loneliness, which leads to huge problems in society. We have not changed as much in terms of internal needs as they are trying to imagine today. In all world civilizations, women have always seen their role as being virtuous wives, organizing their homes, and raising children. Today, being a “homemaker” is becoming less popular and attractive. But a person still craves care, affection, attention. “Where they love us, there is only a home,” wrote the English poet Byron.
Keeper of the hearth - this is precisely the role assigned to representatives of the fair half of humanity by nature, and is as natural as the image of a male breadwinner. However, over the last century, under the influence of feminist sentiments, more and more girls are refusing this role, preferring to spend their time and energy on self-development and making money. However, the idea that one contradicts the other is erroneous. And in any woman, a successful businesswoman and a warm, sweet homemaker can coexist at the same time. Meanwhile, the main problem is precisely that girls are trying to choose one thing.
Nevertheless, the keeper of the hearth is precisely the person who creates an atmosphere of warmth, tranquility, coziness and comfort in the house, and helps to preserve the family. Moreover, the most important thing is that household chores can be combined with successful activities in the professional field and receive double pleasure from the opportunity to be both an indispensable employee and a good wife.
The most important thing is to learn how to properly manage your time. It's best to make a list of things to do that day in advance. Gradually, you will be able to evaluate how much work you can realistically do and change the list as you see fit. It is important that you always have time not only for business and housekeeping, but also for yourself. A visit to the gym or beauty salon, a few hours for a hobby - this is simply necessary in order to continue living in harmony with yourself.
A modern hearth keeper can have a variety of different equipment at her disposal. It is much easier to acquire a washing machine, dishwasher, multicooker and other useful household appliances if both people work in the family. And with their help you can significantly reduce the time required for cleaning, cooking, and so on.
No one will require a working woman to cook several new dishes every day, however, you should not get carried away with various semi-finished products either - they will not be able to replace the amazing taste of homemade food, prepared with love. There are many interesting recipes that allow you to prepare a very tasty dinner in a minimum amount of time.
In fact, a woman who focuses only on household duties (cleaning, washing, cooking) can hardly be called a good housewife. After all, the psychological climate in the house is no less important for a man. And, as a rule, he can only get it with an interesting interlocutor, an erudite and intelligent girl who is able to carry on a conversation or take part in a discussion, discuss important problems and offer a truly good solution to them.
Of course, a good homemaker must be a good mother. Under no circumstances should you deprive children of attention. After all, not a single nanny or teacher can become as close to a child as his mother. You should not refuse a child if he asks to play with him or read him a fairy tale because you still need to wash the floors - you can do this on another day, and spiritual closeness with your child in this case will be much more valuable.
Anyone can look good, have time to surprise their family with something tasty, maintain order in the house, and also shine at work if they want. A woman is a keeper of the home, who has long ceased to perform the functions of a housekeeper and has turned into an interesting, harmonious person, capable of giving her inner light to the whole world and achieving all her goals. In addition, she never ceases to care about the happiness of her loved ones and does not feel her own inferiority in any area of life.
10 commandments of a wise woman - the keeper of the family hearth!
Life is full of surprises and challenges.
It happens that life together raises questions from the very beginning, starting with the smallest things, such as unimportant, secondary and not determining the strength of family life, but...
When starting family life, many are initially carried away by their feelings and do not pay attention to some of the “little things” in life. And these little things have a very unpleasant way of accumulating, causing irritation, misunderstanding and, often, disagreements.
And it is so important to have a good example before your eyes, or a loyal and reliable friend nearby who can give the right advice in time and keep you from taking a rash step. And if there isn’t one nearby, remember the following:
1. A wise or intelligent woman is reserved, faithful, and will do everything for the well-being of the family.
After all, in a family, it is her mood that creates the weather!
2. Family life is, first of all, cooperation. Therefore, a wise woman immediately chooses a suitable life partner who would be ready not only for good sex, but also for cooperation. A wise woman knows that in marriage no one owes anyone, because marriage should be based on love and on a deep understanding and respect for the goals of life together, and the independent goals in each individual’s life.
3. Personal relationships are the most valuable and significant thing in your life. Every day, every moment you create your future. Living together is like building a strong building. Every day, event by event, like brick by brick, you are laying this house. Once you build it, you will live in such a house. A wise woman knows all this. Every day, with love and great dedication, she puts all of herself completely into this construction.
4. Women are creators by nature. A wise woman knows that the weather in the house and her husband’s mood mainly depend on her, and this is where the most important thing begins. Its main tools are: love, sincerity, understanding and patience. Using these tools, she explains to her husband that the main secret of female nature is to love, to be loved and to develop close relationships. It's in her nature.
5. A wise woman knows that men and women love differently. And knowing this, she does not expect or demand from her husband actions that should correspond specifically to women’s ideas about love. A wise woman knows that the polite treatment given on the first date must be carried throughout her life. She respects her husband as a stranger, because... knows not to get too close and consider each other their property.
6. Of course, in life together there are very frequent cases of spouses becoming irritated with each other. But what is irritation? This is a personal problem of the irritated person, related to the fact that his/her expectations do not correspond to reality. So why did she have the wrong expectations for her husband? And why should the spouse endure irritable speeches and aggression, if it is not his fault that they were mistaken about him? A wise woman knows that irritation is a sign of poor upbringing; she knows that irritation is inappropriate anywhere and never. And if suddenly it arises, then you need to deal with it by sincerely looking inside yourself, because no one else is to blame for this.
7. A wise woman knows how to forgive her man, understanding that all people are not perfect and she is no exception. She should gently but confidently talk about her irritations and grievances to her man, trying not to “get stuck” on her emotions.
8. A wise woman is patient. Patience is the main quality of women, a quality that men practically do not possess. Remember that patience is your main bonus in life. Patience is waiting for the right moment, it is the ability to control your emotions, of which a woman has a lot.
9. A wise woman is a woman who lives in harmony with herself and with those around her, a woman who knows how to extract pleasure from even the smallest things, to give pleasure in the smallest things. A woman who knows how to reconcile and extinguish a growing explosion, a woman who does not get into cheap positions of offense, because dignity is not in poses and pouty faces (I haven’t spoken to you for three days), but in actions.
10. And finally, the main female wisdom lies in her ability to be smooth, slow, sexy. The smoothness of her body movements in life and the manifestation of weakness (even if slightly feigned) is the most correct way of communicating with men. No competition and no desire to control everything in a relationship - men don’t like this. Leave them the initiative, just guide your partner a little and that’s it, he himself will find a way to achieve the desired goal. Being smooth, slow, gentle and moderately weak is truly feminine, this is what attracts any man and gives him more confidence in life. Sometimes you can play a strong, militant woman - for contrast in a relationship, and it won’t hurt.
A wise woman through the eyes of one man:
For me, a woman’s wisdom lies in the absence of any conflict - internal or external. I don't know if I can express myself clearly, but I'll try. A woman is peace and tranquility, she is too weak to harm someone, and her strength is only enough to hurt someone else’s pride (this is where the legs of the expression “all evil comes from women”) grow. Who has been changed or healed by wounded pride? As you know, the actions of another can be influenced by force or persuasion; influencing by force is not for women; there is no place for conflict in persuasion. I'm obsessed with grumpy ladies, ladies who, spluttering, go into a quarrel, although what can a woman solve with a quarrel? I am attracted to girls who follow the general wave and create the image of aggressive loners. They are stupid. They are pathetic. Looking at them, I want to cry, because I know how such theater ends, fortunately there are many examples scattered around.