Every day we are visited by many negative thoughts. Didn't get enough sleep? - We go to work in a bad mood. Did the right bus disappear from under your nose? - We get upset and angry because we have to be late. A friend shares her personal problems? - We delve into them, and then these thoughts spin in our heads throughout the day. And if bad weather ruins all our plans for the weekend, then the positive attitude generally evaporates somewhere. And these are just annoying little things of one day! How many of them can accumulate in a whole week, month, year? All these daily portions of negativity are layered on top of each other, ultimately forming a large lump that does not disappear anywhere, but continues to grow more and more every day, displacing positive thoughts from our consciousness. How can you learn not to think about the bad and not get upset over little things? How to sweep out all the negative garbage that has accumulated there from your head?
A POSITIVE START OF THE DAY IS THE KEY TO A GREAT MOOD!
Always wake up with good mood. After waking up, lie in bed for five minutes, thinking about the positive events that may await you during the coming day. You don’t have to think only about what can really happen; you can also fantasize a little. For example, imagine that today your boss unexpectedly praises you or you accidentally run into a friend you haven’t seen for several years. Or think about your deepest desire. The fact is that thinking about pleasant things not only prevents you from allowing negativity into your consciousness, but also actually attracts positive changes into your life. The main thing is to think about it more often! Even if your boss doesn’t recognize your work today, it will definitely happen in a day or a week. You may not see your old friend today, but it is quite possible that in a week or two you will find her in in social networks or through mutual friends.
DON'T BE ANGRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CHANGE!
Give up the habit of being angry or offended by things that you have no control over. Don’t be upset by bad weather, bad traffic jams, a late bus, or a long line at the store. Make it a rule to be aware of the fact that you personally have nothing to do with these circumstances, and to be upset about something that you cannot change in any way is simply stupid and ridiculous. Because you are angry, the sun will not come out to replace the rain, the traffic jam on the road will not clear up faster, the necessary bus will not materialize out of thin air in front of your eyes, the cashiers at the supermarket will not start working five times faster. Just accept the situation as it is.
TURN TROUBLE INTO PLEASURE!
What to do if annoying little things continue to bother you? Learn to see the good in everything bad. Did a meeting with friends fail? - This is a reason to spend the evening at home, reading a book that you have long wanted to get to or watching a movie that you were advised to watch. Are your favorite jeans torn? - This is a great reason to buy new ones. Did a colleague let you down at work? - But now you know that this person cannot be trusted with important matters. There is always a positive side to any unpleasant situation, we just don’t always pay attention to it. Be attentive to the little things and always try to see at least the minimum positive that can be extracted from a negative experience!
SOMEONE ELSE MEANS NOT MINE!
Never take on other people's problems. If a friend complains about the unsettled nature of her own family life, this is her personal problem and there is absolutely no need for you to solve it. If a colleague cannot cope with his job and constantly tells you how hard it all is for him, this is his problem, not yours. Of course, when it comes to truly close people, you can and should listen, give advice or offer some kind of solution, but you shouldn’t think about it all day long. Limit your time for thinking and if the right words or methods never come to your mind, just stop thinking about it. Most likely, a solution to a difficult situation will come faster to the person who got into it, and not to someone who simply sympathizes from the outside. Always remember this!
DO NOT ACCEPT EXTERNAL NEGATIVE!
Never take to heart the negativity that comes to you from the outside! Have you watched a crime chronicle in the news, read about another plane crash in the newspaper and mentally return to these events throughout the day? You should not focus on what is happening not to you personally. Distract yourself from bad thoughts, set yourself up for the positive, think about the good, perceive what you see or read simply as external information that cannot affect your life in any way, and if you are too sensitive, just don’t watch the news or read newspapers, or better yet, spend time with your loved one, read interesting book or play with your pet.
Pleasant little things = POSITIVE EMOTIONS
Treat yourself more often with small gifts that bring you positive emotions. Buy new book, earrings or a pair of shoes if you really want it; go to the cinema or skating rink; go to the first cafe you come across and order your favorite dish or ice cream; just call someone you enjoy talking to for no reason to find out how they are doing. We ourselves make our own lives positive, so never deny yourself small joys.
A RAINBOW WAKES UP FROM A SMILE IN THE SKY!
Smile more often! Smile at your reflection in the mirror, at a random passer-by, at a child playing on the playground, at a gloomy man on the subway, at a sad colleague at work, at your boss, at a grandmother sitting on a bench, at a cashier in a store, and you will feel how your mood will instantly improve with a reciprocal smile. It’s not without reason that the famous children’s song says: “Share your smile - and it will come back to you more than once!”
LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE IN YOUR DAY!
Before you go to bed, be sure to think about all the good things that happened to you during the day. Remember all the little things: the smiles of the people around you, things done on time, plans that came true, pleasant purchases and unexpected meetings and thank the Universe for giving you so many wonderful things in just 24 hours! And be sure to fall asleep with the thought that the next day will definitely bring you as much (and maybe even more) joy and positivity.
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Work is not just a way of self-realization and earning money for subsistence. This is the place where a person spends approximately a third of his time from graduation to retirement. Relationships with colleagues, promotion or, conversely, demotion, satisfaction with the results of one’s efforts or professional failures - all this has a huge impact on daily life. Sometimes work is more likely to cause stress than to positive emotions. Therefore, you need to know how not to worry about work and not take work problems beyond the office threshold.
It is impossible to change your way of thinking overnight and stop paying attention to work problems. However, you can change your attitude towards work and learn if you follow a few sensible tips.
Special treatment
Think of work as performing a specific set of responsibilities for money. Don't allow yourself to be exploited. If you work for an idea, then someone makes good money from it, right?
The right priorities
Set your priorities right. No matter how important work is to you, it cannot replace your personal life. Don't push your family and loved ones into the background. If the company closes, you will easily find another job, and if your children grow up without you, you will not turn back the clock.
Without tragedy
Don't make a tragedy out of work failures. A late report or a failed negotiation does not make you a fool or a scoundrel. Focus your energy on correcting the consequences and accept this experience.
Attention to yourself
Monitor your well-being. If you burn out at work, hardly anyone will appreciate it, and life will pass you by. Do not deny yourself sick leave, vacations, lunch breaks, and moments of rest. Overwork is one of the most common causes of stress and poor health.
Mental stability
Emotional stability and balance help to avoid stressful situations and look at the world with optimism. Develop these qualities in yourself, one day you will find that you can easily cope with any problem that previously seemed like the end of the world.
There are many specific reasons why service can turn into hard labor: difficulties in the team, nagging bosses, fear of layoffs, lack of career growth or overstrain associated with an overwhelming amount of work. For each of these problems there is a solution.
How to improve relationships with management or colleagues
Even in the most friendly and cohesive teams there are disagreements and clashes of interests, because they unite completely different people, many of which would bypass each other on a long journey in normal life. It is impossible to be pleasant to every colleague, but maintaining good working relationships with everyone is quite possible.
- Do not get involved in office intrigues and conspiracies, stay away from gossips. Focus on your job responsibilities.
- Try not to make friends with work colleagues, and God forbid you from office romances. When personal relationships begin to influence work processes, you can lose both.
- Refrain from showing hostility and do not turn work conflicts into personal ones. Stop any manipulation. If the situation has reached a dead end, contact a reputable employee or superiors, the main thing is that this appeal is not a denunciation, but a search for a constructive solution.
- Take criticism calmly. Perhaps you really made a mistake and you have a lot to learn from more experienced colleagues.
- Build relationships with your superiors, but do not overdo it in this matter. Avoid flattery. Don't try to change your manager. If he is a tyrant and an unbalanced person, then either accept it or look for another boss.
- Be friendly and attentive to your colleagues. Don’t go overboard – you will need the support of your colleagues more than once.
How to cope with a large amount of work
There are areas of activity in which tense periods are inevitable, when you need to solve a lot of problems in a short period of time. A large amount of work and associated emergency situations, overwork and the need to make responsible decisions are always stressful. You won’t be able to avoid it, but you can make your life a lot easier if you use some techniques.
Target
Focus on the goal. Identify tasks and assess their importance. Solve problems consistently without wasting time and energy. Don't make a fuss.
Comfort
Provide yourself with a comfortable environment. The room should be quiet, bright and not stuffy. Nothing should distract you.
Rest
Give yourself a break. Once an hour, completely change your activity for five minutes - do exercises, listen to music, look out the window. Don't forget about sleep and food.
Calm
Keep calm. A short meditation, breathing exercises, or any other technique that will help turn off the flow of thoughts in your head will help you achieve balance.
Help
Don't be shy to ask for help. If we're talking about about a serious project, ask for exactly as many assistants as you need so as not to overstrain yourself and fail the whole project. One in the field is not a warrior, so don’t be a hero and don’t pull the blanket over yourself.
No rework
Don't let overtime become the norm. Working too hard will not only ruin your health, but will also lead to overexertion, and this main reason mistakes and rash decisions.
How to cope with job loss or dismissal
Psychologists advise taking your mental health seriously during this difficult period, because losing a job is stressful, comparable to worries about the death of a loved one or divorce. There are several stages of grief, and it is important to go through each of them completely, otherwise there is a risk of getting stuck at one of the stages and greatly ruining your future life. Recommendations on how to survive layoffs or dismissal are based on the principles of properly experiencing loss.
Express emotions
If you have a large part of your life connected to your old job, the “we don’t care” attitude is just a mask behind which real suffering is hidden. Give yourself the freedom to worry, throw out your emotions, cry to someone’s chest.
Under the protection of the law
Don't threaten your boss or make intrigues. If you have been fired or laid off unfairly, seek protection from the law, but do it with a cool head. Therefore, before starting hostilities, go through the stage of anger. Express your negative emotions on paper, tell a psychologist about them, break a couple of plates if it makes you feel better.
Don't blame yourself
Moderate your guilt. Even if it is undeniable, life does not end there. The future will certainly provide a chance to use the experience gained in a similar situation.
Awareness of loss
Acknowledge your loss and come to terms with it. Analyze what your old job gave you, what you learned, what you gained, and what unnecessary things you got rid of after losing it.
Future Action Plan
Decide how you will live next and start doing it. Assess your potential and find all available resources to return to normal life. The end of one period in life is always the beginning of another. Who said it would be worse than the old one?
Fear of failure
Paradoxically, the stronger the fear of making a mistake, the greater the likelihood of making one.
- Give yourself room to make mistakes. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. But distinguish mistakes from manifestations of negligence and irresponsibility.
- Treat mistakes as a way to gain experience. Ask any professional how many big things are hidden behind his skill.
- Get rid of negative thoughts and don't plague yourself with premonitions of failure. A positive attitude is already half the success.
- Throughout your life, you have dealt with difficulties more than once. Remember your victories and achievements, this will give you self-confidence.
If your job is making your life miserable, it may be better to change it. But if the situation repeats itself again and again, the problem is you, and it’s time to sort yourself out. By working on yourself, you change the world around you. Take care of the health of your soul and body. If harmony reigns inside a person, failures bypass the lucky person. Live life to the fullest and enjoy your work!
Hello, friends.
Today you will learn how to stop worrying and also overthinking yourself. I already wrote about how the tips from that article will help you not only understand how not to be nervous, but also how to finally not worry about anything. But today, in a new article, I will consider the experience from the point of view of overthinking myself. By understanding how to put this mechanism of your psyche under control, you can greatly improve your life and not worry about trifles.
Natural and inflated experiences
In fact, we tend to worry. After all, we are not robots, but living people.
Difficulties and troubles often occur in a person's life.
And when faced with troubles, we begin to worry.
To worry means to protect yourself from troubles. This turns on the instinct of self-preservation, which we need, without it we would simply die. Experience is a reaction of the psyche when the instinct of self-preservation is triggered.
Therefore, it is natural when a mother fears for her child if he does not return home late. The husband begins to worry about his wife when she gives birth, and it is difficult for a woman not to worry during pregnancy. We worry before an important meeting, a date, about work, when we are fired. We fear for our lives when we are threatened. These are all examples of natural experiences and there is no need to get rid of them.
If a person simply experienced these natural feelings, then nothing terrible would happen. But it's not that simple.
After all, what often happens next. The person begins to beat himself up. He begins not only to worry, but to imagine unpleasant pictures of events that have not yet come true or events that have already happened, about which he has no information. That is, he does not yet know what will happen or has already happened, but he begins to imagine that something bad has happened, everything is bad and everything like that.
Mostly this happens in a negative way.
All. There is an uncontrollable flurry of emotions that lead to problems, take away our health, and do not allow us to take a sober look at the situation.
Why is this happening?
The egoistic mechanism of our psyche-ego is to blame. she is constantly afraid of something, feels sorry for herself, wants everything to always be good and only as she needs it. It's just how it's designed.
The ego psyche is also afraid to experience unpleasant emotions, as a result we are simply afraid of the negative. The so-called fear of fear arises.
For example, a mother, realizing that she is hurt by the fact that her son has not returned, begins to fear not only these circumstances, but also fear itself. “How can I bear this, I’ll feel really bad, I’ll be very worried.”. Instead of acting calmly, she begins to become hysterical, lose her head, and blame someone for her troubles without understanding the circumstances. The ego-psyche tends to imagine everything negatively. It's built that way. All sorts of fears are constantly sitting inside us, which come out at the first opportunity.
And this process is dragging on.
And if you worry too often and for a long time, then the body will work for wear and tear.
Natural experiences are not very powerful and usually do not last long, so there is little harm from them. But when we start to worry, stressing ourselves out, the emotions will be stronger and more energy-consuming. If we worry for a long time, we will definitely get sick. And also the psyche will become weaker. With new, even trivial, troubles, we will begin to worry again. It turns out to be a vicious circle from which there seems to be no way out.
What to do? But there is a way out.
You just need to stop the egoistic mechanism of the psyche, which triggers self-inflation. A wise, philosophical attitude towards life, as well as awareness in relation to the uncontrollable emotions of experience, will help us with this.
Be wise
In order for your life to become much better and to stop worrying and inflating your emotions, you need to treat it correctly and be wise.
There are wise, well-known guidelines. And there is no need to treat them with disdain. They really help a lot.
A correct worldview seems to calm the ego psyche, puts it in its place, and we actually begin to worry less. Thanks to them, ours seems to wake up and spread its wings. You probably felt this yourself when you unconsciously followed these guidelines, when you had a so-called uplift in spirit, all the negativity went away, and Vital energy increased. At such moments, you just want to enjoy life, create, do the right, non-selfish actions.
This happens because the soul is where they reside wonderful feelings, suppressed, eclipsed the egoistic whims of the ego.
The ego, having subsided, stops generating negative emotions, we stop beating ourselves up. The energy that was previously spent on bad emotions is freed, and now it can be directed to the right actions. Consciousness is cleared, we begin to think soberly. You see how everything is interconnected. Do you get the point?
These are the settings:
A happy person is not the one who only has good events in his life, but the one who has the right attitude towards everything that happens to him.
Accept any event in your life calmly and with dignity. If trouble or trouble happens, then it’s necessary. Such is fate. This means life wants to show you something, teach you.
Everything in life cannot be good; there will be difficulties and failures.
Difficulties build character and make you stronger.
After a black streak in life there will definitely be a white one. If you do not accept difficult times in your life and get upset, then the bad streak will last longer.
Also accept any feeling within yourself, even if they are unpleasant. Don't be afraid of your fears. Learn to look at them without running away from them.
And other wise attitudes that I often talk about on this blog.
But for some reason everyone knows these sayings, but as soon as problems fall on a person, he forgets about them and again makes mistakes for which he has to pay.
The thing is that a person usually has them simply in his mind. But you just need to feel them, understand them deep meaning. Only then will they remain in the subconscious and at a difficult moment they will come out of there and save the situation.
To do this, close your eyes and slowly speak these settings. Feel them with your soul, understand the inner meaning.
Well, in order to finally get rid of the wounded experiences, you need to learn to control them. What are we going to do now?
How can we not worry about anything with the help of mindfulness?
So, to get rid of twisted thoughts and worry less, you need to turn on.
But first of all, stop fighting with yourself, with those experiences that have washed over you. Fighting is a form of cooperation that leads to unnecessary tension, which means even greater problems, both physically and emotionally. Our task, on the contrary, is to calm down. To do this, do not fight your experiences, but rather allow them to be.
It is human nature to do the opposite. He tries with all his might to get rid of unpleasant feelings and begins to fight them. This even happens unconsciously, automatically, one might say, without the will of a person. As I already said, the uncontrolled work of our psyche with its own selfish motives is to blame. She tends to be afraid, she wants everything to always be good and pleasant. She can't stand bad feelings and tries to hide from them. This is expressed by the fact that a person, struggling with fear during an experience, drives it deep into himself. That is, it displaces it from the surface consciousness, where the unconscious person is usually located, deeper into the subconscious. But fear has not really gone away; it is doing its destructive work. And from the depths of consciousness he throws at us terrible pictures of events that have not yet come true. This is one of the reasons why a person begins to overthink himself.
All this work of suppressing unpleasant feelings, the development of tension and, as a result, a flurry of new, already wound up experiences, goes differently for everyone. Someone is hysterical, another, on the contrary, falls into a stupor, a third simply does not understand what he is doing. But everyone’s consciousness narrows in the same way, their heads become clouded, and an uncontrollable flurry of twisted emotions is generated.
To prevent this from happening, I repeat, you need to stop and stop the internal struggle.
If you follow wise guidelines, you will calmly accept not only any circumstance in your life, but also any feeling within yourself. The ability to endure within oneself any, even the most unpleasant, feelings and emotions characterizes the degree of maturity and wisdom of a person.
Let the experiences be. Set them free. Let there be fear inside you. You humbly understand what you are experiencing, because you are a person with living feelings. Continuing with our example, the mother understands that she is worried about her son, she comes to terms with it.
Then just close your eyes, turn your attention inside yourself, see what the feelings and experiences do to the body. You may feel a chill in your stomach, a lump somewhere inside, or maybe you will even understand why they say “the soul has sunk into your heels.”
Thus, you allow the body to naturally experience, do not interfere with it, allow it to do what is natural for nature. And then the body, seeing that it is not being disturbed, worries and somehow defuses the internal fears of the experience. You will also be able to look at the fears themselves from the outside. Create distance between yourself and your unpleasant feelings. And what will happen next when you calmly let your body worry and look at the feelings from the outside. The experiences will either decrease or even disappear completely. There will definitely be no more stressful experiences.
Now the mother, from our example, will be able to calmly assess the situation, call someone, find out something, that is, she will really be able to find her son, or wait humbly without hysterics.
If you don't manage to do it all the first time, don't despair, try again. The power of your awareness is, of course, still weak to stop the flow of uncontrollable emotions the first time.
If, nevertheless, the ego took over, began to throw unpleasant pictures at you, and you began to cheat, you just need to catch yourself in the fact that you have lost awareness. And then close your eyes and repeat everything again.
I think you will succeed.
By getting rid of unnecessary worries, you will free up a lot of energy and be able to direct it in the right direction. Act, search, undertake something or humbly wait. The main thing is that now you will have a clear consciousness, even if natural experiences remain. But there won’t be any more screwed-up ones, which create problems.
If you always do this when you are worried, you will see how much your life has begun to change for the better. And the mother from our example, after calming down, suddenly hears a bell, runs to open the door and sees her beloved son safe and sound.
All because the law worked:
"Think about the good and good will happen".
How can we think about good things when we are bombarded with uncontrollable, overwhelming experiences? Only awareness can stop them, and then we will feel the good feelings of our soul. After all, that’s where they live. And this is the only way this law will work. Do you understand?
I think you understand how to finally stop worrying, now you can start living life to the fullest a happy and healthy person without stressful experiences.
And at the end of the article I want to add that I myself often used to worry about everything and could not stop stressing myself out.
I understand those people who are looking for an answer to this question.
I was too sensitive and couldn't handle stress. I couldn't help but worry about little things.
All these experiences were very exhausting and did not allow me to live a normal life. They took away strength and undermined health. Later, I began to understand the reasons for such a painful mode of mental reaction, and now I am sharing with you the knowledge I have gained.
My recipe is this:
You can’t just stop worrying in an instant. You need to gradually increase your fortitude, become stronger morally, mentally, be a wise and mature, conscious person, learn to control your emotions.
This is what I told you about today. And, you can read it separately by following the link.
That's all for today.
Good luck to you.
And from music, let's remember the wonderful composition from Enigma.
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They have always been and remain an integral part of human life. It would be difficult not to meet someone who would not be susceptible to this today, and destructive mental states are considered the absolute norm in our time. Mental pressure surrounds us everywhere: at work, in stores, in the cinema, on public transport, in traffic jams, in queues, etc. Even at home, where there are only people close and dear to us, we are daily exposed to the influence of stressful situations and worries of various kinds.
But while some people can easily experience them, for others they can become chronic. And now it’s no secret to anyone that chronic anxiety can cause a bad mood, a predominance of negative emotions, mental, emotional and physiological ailments (read how to get rid of all this). It is also known that in order to become chronic, anxiety must simply systematically overcome a person over a certain period of time. As a result, worries and worries can completely ruin a person’s life so that it becomes more of an existence filled with suffering. The issue of getting rid of worries and worries is very relevant, and one cannot but agree with this.
To date, a huge amount of literature of completely different quality has been devoted to the problem of getting rid of worries. Someone writes dubious brochures that contain “super-effective” recommendations for getting rid of anxiety - such books are written, as a rule, by absolute amateurs and only for the purpose of obtaining financial gain. But there are also truly worthwhile works, the creation of which devoted sleepless nights and countless hours painstaking work the best of people, whose intentions can be considered truly good, because they have a sincere desire to help people and make their lives better.
One of these people is Dale Carnegie, a world-famous American psychologist, teacher and writer who was at the origins of the theory of communication. It was this man who was able to translate the theoretical developments of psychologists of his era (the first half of the 20th century) into the field of practical application.
Dale Carnegie developed his own concept of conflict-free communication, many courses on self-improvement, effective communication skills, speaking, and others, among which the art of harmonious living deserves special attention. The books of this man gained enormous fame throughout the world during his lifetime, but even today they remain very in demand and popular.
Today we will talk about Dale Carnegie's book called "". To be more precise, we will not talk about the book itself, but about the advice it contains for improving life, which absolutely anyone can successfully put into practice. Having carried out a lot of research in the field, and paying attention to them long years work, Dale Carnegie was able to formulate special principles, following which people can stop worrying about anything in their lives, and nullify all their worries.
In the book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living?” the author invites readers to use his ideas, which he not only supports with theory, but also accompanies with examples from real life. There is a great deal of advice in the book, but we offer you only a small part of it.
According to the author, the first and most important thing a person should know about anxiety is that in order to crowd out anxiety from one’s life, it is necessary by all means to distinguish between the past and the future. Carnegie proposes installing “iron doors” between them, thereby creating the “sealed compartments” of today. It is necessary to live in the present, without regretting the past and without worrying about the future. Otherwise, past experiences and thoughts of hope will create anxiety and worry.
If a person is faced with situations that are associated with excitement and anxiety, he should resort to the so-called “magic” formula of the American inventor Willis Carrier, which is as follows:
- You need to ask yourself the question: “What is the worst thing that could happen to me?”
- Accept this “worst” in advance and come to terms with it if the need arises
- Calmly think about ways you can change the situation
A person should always carry in his mind the thought that worry and anxiety cause enormous harm to his health, which cannot be compensated for by anything. As an example, Dale Carnegie cites the statement that many business people who do not know how to deal with their worries die very early. And this is true, because anxiety makes a person nervous, and nerve cells The body, although they are restored, is not so simple and fast. The more a person worries, the less time he has left to live. Remember this!
In order for a person to experience as little worry, worry and anxiety as possible, he must develop a special state of mind that can bring peace and happiness. You can develop such a mindset with the help of positive and cheerful thinking, cheerful behavior and the very feeling of joy from life. It is necessary to strive to ensure that positive notes prevail in feelings and thoughts. It is not for nothing that it is said that a person’s mental impulses have a formative effect on his life.
One of the main causes of concern is lack of employment. If a person does nothing and his thoughts are not occupied with anything, the consciousness itself can begin to generate restless thoughts that cause anxious states. If you want to get rid of anxiety, load yourself with some activity. Intensive work and busyness are the best medicines, capable of expelling the “demons” of despondency and anxiety from a person’s consciousness.
Anxiety is a bad habit that needs to be broken. But the best way to get rid of a bad habit is to replace it with. Stop getting upset over minor troubles and trifles - this will be your new habit. Think of small hassles as tiny ants that are ruining your happiness, and don't feel any regret in getting rid of them.
Have you ever heard of the Law of Large Numbers? If not, then read about it on the Internet. This Law is perfectly suited for expelling worries and worries from your life. How to use it? Just ask yourself the question more often: “How likely is it that the event that worries me will happen to me?” According to the Law of Large Numbers, this probability is negligible.
Many people experience suffering and continue to worry even after something unpleasant has already happened. Don't make this mistake - learn to accept the inevitable. This means that if you know that you cannot change or correct a situation or circumstances, you need to take it for granted, tell yourself: “So it must be this way and no other way” and calm down.
To gain control over your worries, you need to set a “limiter” that will regulate your anxiety level. Setting a “limiter” means simply deciding for yourself what degree of concern this or that event occurring in your life deserves. Set a limit that you should never go beyond, and don't let your anxiety overcome it.
Worries overwhelm a person when he is overly focused on himself. To neutralize worries, you need to forget about yourself and show more interest in the people around you. You can do something every day good deed even towards a stranger. It may seem unusual and complicated, but the result will more than justify itself.
As you can easily see, Dale Carnegie's advice is very easy to apply. The only effort that needs to be made for them to begin to produce tangible results is to make a firm decision to restructure your thinking in a positive way, to finally stop worrying and start living!
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Have a nice day and stay calm!
The word is a powerful energy, therefore it acts in accordance with energy laws. We are not hermits, we live in society, we come into contact with people, but we meet different people, and we do not always hear exclusively pleasant and friendly words. Today we will not dwell on why this happens, we will talk about how to react to words so as not to harm yourself.
Buddha said: “Don't accept any negativity. Until you accept it, it belongs to the one who brought it.” It's about energy, be it emotions or words. That is, the responsibility for whether to accept or not lies with us. Not “I was offended,” but “I let the offense in,” not “he didn’t speak in that tone,” but “I reacted to his tone.” Around anyone, there will always be someone who is in pain. And it is only out of his pain that a person causes pain to others - the offended ones offend, the unloved are jealous when they see how they love someone, the humiliated humiliate, the rejected take revenge, reject, etc. Therefore, if a person causes you unjustified pain, it is important to understand that now his pain is speaking to you, the root cause is not you. And from this understanding you can already react.
I’ll tell you about the reactions right away. The question is often asked: “So, spiritual person must constantly turn his cheeks, and everyone will beat him?” Here we need to separate internal and external. Internally, yes, we turn our cheeks. With the understanding that this is our lesson, it is needed to teach us something (love, understanding, humility, renunciation of pride - there are a lot of options, everything is individual), with the understanding that this is not said by the person himself, but by his pain , which no longer fits inside it and spills out. With gratitude to the Universe and to this wonderful person who teaches us so well, which means he gives us the opportunity to develop, grow, become wiser, happier. It's internal. Outwardly, you can react adequately, but there is one “but”: it is important to react out of love, from the heart. The internal must give birth to the external. That is, understanding everything described above, you need to look at your “teacher” with love and gratitude, and say all the words due to him from this state. And then there will be no conflict, no resentment, no bitterness, no harm to anyone. At the same time, you will clearly define your boundaries and will not become an object for beating in the future.
For example, a child brought a deuce. We need to react somehow. I am not a supporter of forceful methods and I am convinced that violence - whether it be by voice, physical, deprivation of something, etc. – does not bring a real lasting effect. In addition, it fundamentally harms the energy sector of both sides and spoils relations. In a situation of a two, it is important to react with love - this is the same child whom you fed breakfast in the morning and gently patted on the top of the head, he has not changed at all, just today for some reason he has a two. It is important to remove the element of conditional love from the situation - we love our children not for something, but just like that, and even if they get straight deuces, we will still love them, because true love has no conditions. And if it does, then it is not true. This means that we only think that we love, and we need to learn to love ourselves, first of all, because the inability to love is also directed at ourselves. This means that we constantly set certain conditions for ourselves, and this is already serious. This means that we are not living life to the fullest, and our dreams are unlikely to come true. If you see this in yourself, I invite you to mine.
So, we say all the right words to the child, while experiencing only love and sending only kind, warm wishes. You may be surprised to realize that in this way you can get a much greater result than the methods that are familiar to many.
And once again I will return to an important thought - we are not responsible for what and how others say, but are responsible only for what we receive and send from ourselves. The issue of sharing responsibility is central to human relations; if this were taught in school, there would be ten times more happy people on earth, there would be no offended, humiliated, infantile people, our society would be strong and self-confident. At the moment when you react negatively to someone else’s words, you take on someone else’s responsibility: “what did he say,” yes, “in what tone did he say it,” yes, “he behaved offensively,” etc. These are his lessons, his personal experience, how and what he says, we can never know what caused such behavior, we see only a tiny piece of someone else’s world, and by it we undertake to judge the whole. You have to walk a long way in someone else's shoes to understand even a little how another person feels. Therefore, there is no need to take someone else’s responsibility for the words and actions of other people. For some reason they need this. By responding correctly, spiritually, you will help the person gain awareness, and maybe even learn some kind of lesson. If you start attacking, you will not help another and will not complete the lesson yourself. This means it will definitely happen again. This means that the next lesson will come with a delay. Completing lessons is directly related to the fulfillment of desires. If a lesson is constantly stalled, then the desires associated with this experience will remain unfulfilled. Therefore, here you also need to take your responsibility and decide what is more important: staying in the usual zone and continuing to blame others for something, or moving forward and getting changes.
And one last thing. It is important not only to notice the good, but also to voice it. Just as willingly as we are used to voicing bad things. I believe that our media will also come to this someday, shifting the emphasis to the good, bright, kind that happens along with the negative. But big things start from small things, so let's learn to do it ourselves.
If you have any questions or need help, write to me.
With love,
Yulia Solomonova