Self-flagellation and self-criticism are nasty habits, aren’t they? The most unpleasant thing is that a person who engages in self-flagellation and regular self-criticism, even realizing that he is acting very badly towards himself, cannot do anything with himself, and continues to eat, blame and psychologically destroy himself.

We consider self-criticism and self-flagellation primarily in the psychological aspect, as a manifestation of extreme dislike for oneself, and not a physical understanding of self-flagellation (as it was in Christianity).

What is Self-flagellation and Self-criticism? Esoteric view

Self-flagellation and self-criticism– these are psychological programs of consciousness and corresponding energy mechanisms aimed at destroying a person’s personality (his Soul and body). This is, in essence, psychological and energetic violence against oneself.

These negative habits trigger a constant mechanism of self-destruction and in the end, most often, lead to serious diseases: from cardiovascular diseases (dissatisfaction with life in the person) to cancer (with premature and painful death).

Moreover, these are absolutely real energy systems that will cripple a person psychologically and energetically, and they work literally. For example, if a girl doesn’t like her legs, and she engages in self-criticism about this, and shows emotions of hatred and rejection towards her legs, then in the literal sense of the word, she simply tears off her energy legs. That is, we can absolutely say that after some time her physical legs will also hurt, because they are already destroyed energetically and it’s a matter of time before this negative impact manifests itself on the physical plane.

The main reasons for the formation of the habit of self-flagellation and self-criticism:

1. Not formed positive attitude towards yourself – respect and love for your soul and body. A person has no programs or habits of loving oneself, supporting oneself positively, strengthening oneself, and being invulnerable from negativity. How to love yourself -! When a person loves, values, and respects himself, he will not destroy himself, but will protect and improve himself.

2. Not being able to accept your shortcomings and your imperfections. And if a person does not know how to relate to one or another of his shortcomings, he may begin to hate himself for them and then that’s it, self-destruction begins in full swing. This, in essence, is not the ability to accept yourself as you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.

3. Inability to forgive yourself for mistakes made, and for shortcomings, respectively. When a person goes through life and makes mistakes, he accumulates more and more negativity and resentment towards himself. And, sooner or later, this negativity kills a person. Life is a big school, and everyone makes mistakes, you need to learn to go through them easily, forgiving yourself for them, quickly correct them and act again until success is achieved. How to forgive yourself -!

How to get rid of Self-Flagellation?

2. for everything for which you have not yet forgiven yourself!

3. Forbid yourself to “drive” negativity towards yourself with your responsible decisions - forbid yourself to destroy yourself. When you want to torture yourself, direct this energy to something good!

4. Start to develop - to form virtues in yourself so that you can really there was something to respect myself for.

5. Exercise for quick results (must be done in writing):

• Write in at least 10 points - what negative things you have already received and are receiving due to self-flagellation, self-criticism and a negative attitude towards yourself!
• Describe in at least 10 paragraphs what awaits you in 10, 20 years, if you don’t stop flagellating, hating, eating yourself and never learn to love and respect yourself!
• Describe what you want to replace self-flagellation and negativity with in the best possible way!
• Write in at least 20 paragraphs what will happen, who you will become, how you will feel, how your life will change when you develop respect for yourself, love for your soul, respect and care, that is, you stop destroying yourself!

This is a very powerful exercise that works flawlessly – always!

Having criticism towards yourself is a positive quality that is taught from childhood. But sometimes there is too much of it, people begin to punish themselves for the slightest trifles. Such self-flagellation plunges a person into a constant state of depression, guilt, and reproach. It may be a manifestation of an inferiority complex that arises against the background of a defect in appearance or personality traits or status in society. This kind of thinking does not allow you to develop normally and achieve goals, so it makes sense to get rid of it.

What is self-flagellation

Self-flagellation is increased self-criticism, which is expressed in accusation, repentance, condemnation of both one’s actions and the individual in particular. Sometimes it is attributed to someone else's guilt or a quick agreement on the suspicions of others. In society it is also called “self-criticism.”

The idealistic perception of the world leads people to a state of despair. Because it is compared with oneself, and the slightest discrepancy with high standards is terrifying and leads to devaluation of oneself. Failure to consider the positive aspects causes irritation.

Exaggerated criticism is often done for show. So that people around them believe that the person repents of what he has done and wants to improve. This way you can receive support, forgiveness, and praise. From which it emerges that there are no such loud words or tears inside oneself. Therefore, it is often simply manipulation.

Reasons for self-flagellation

Factors that influenced the occurrence of self-flagellation:

1. Genetic predisposition. If parents, or one of them, tend to criticize themselves strongly, then there is a high probability that the child will cross this line.
2. Upbringing. Mom and dad constantly punished the children and reproached them. When they were guilty of something, they not only said that it was impossible to do that. And they added that the child was bad. Since this is an early age, all criticism is accepted unconsciously.
3. Low self-esteem. It may be due to the factor described above, external defects, lack of achievements, negative statements from others.
4. Pessimistic view of the world .
5. Desire to abdicate responsibility. It manifests itself in infantile people who do not want to be responsible for their lives.

Main features

Those prone to self-criticism are always dissatisfied with themselves, the current situation, and life in general. He feels helpless, which depresses him even more and lowers his self-esteem. This condition makes it difficult to find a way out and get rid of constant negative emotions.

He noticed his wrongdoing and promised himself that it would never happen again. Then, by chance, he again finds himself in a similar situation, punishes himself, and reproaches himself for what he has done. Just as with bad words, he can also commit physical violence - beating, for example. Or come up with punishments.

Since such an obsession with emotions turns off rational thinking, it is difficult to look at yourself from the outside. It feels like you're moving in the right direction for self-improvement. Although, in fact, on the contrary, you move away.

It is often impossible to withstand the constant remorse of conscience, and in order to calm it down, they resort to alcoholism and drug addiction. But given the specifics of the individual, she will simply begin to reproach herself for causing harm to her health. Sometimes such negative fixation can result in psychosomatic illnesses.

Types of self-flagellation

The classification is based on the degree of criticism towards oneself:

1. Soft. Demonstrative version of punishment. In public, he actively blames himself in order to thus relieve himself of guilt. Like: “Look how I suffer. I'm really sorry!". Although in reality it is calm inside.
2. Hard. Self-flagellation is already manifesting itself destructively. It is not shown in public, it is directed inward. He really considers himself guilty, criticizes, punishes.
3. Neurotic. It crosses acceptable boundaries and becomes an obsessive form similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Self-criticism for any reason, even the most insignificant. For example, a spoon fell out of your hands. This can drag on for a whole tirade about inattention, awkwardness, that this is how your whole life will pass, no goals will be achieved.

What is an inferiority complex

An inferiority complex is the feeling that you are much worse off than everyone around you and that you will never achieve anything. Always in constant stress and anxiety. Other people's comments are taken very seriously.

It is formed on the basis of an appearance defect: real or contrived. Due to specific qualities or living conditions (for example, low salary). Low self-esteem, as a rule, is always characteristic. It is she who does not give the opportunity to change something in her life.

The independence complex can manifest itself as oppression, constant feeling anxiety. Depressive disorder may develop. Self-flagellation is another one possible variant manifestations.

How to get rid of self-criticism

In order to change the quality of your life, you should develop yourself: adjust your character traits, worldview:

1. Accept yourself as you are. This does not mean that you should not change something if you are not very happy with it. But do not set a goal as a high, unattainable ideal. Thus, there will remain qualities that can be calmly eliminated and improved over time. But the current state of affairs will not be annoying.
2. Don't compare with others. Even if someone seems successful and beautiful in everything, this does not mean that he has no shortcomings. He just hides them well. Therefore, you should not be upset that someone is better. After all, everyone is beautiful in their individuality.
3. Develop the habit of comforting yourself. Instead of blaming, you can try to say that not everything is so bad. That they were not to blame for some dubious situation. But this needs to be controlled so as not to become a person who gets away with everything.
4. To be here and now. Concentrating on actions that have already passed does not allow you to live in the present moment. You need to return yourself from negative thinking to the real world.
5. Act. Instead of sitting and blaming yourself, you should start actively correcting the situation: apologizing, figuring out the reason with someone.

Self-flagellation eats up a person, his life is filled exclusively with negative emotions and guilt, for which he must be punished. But such a position is not always truthful and deserves punishment. Therefore, the sooner you start changing something in your head and psyche, the faster the results and the feeling of lightness will be.

Self-flagellation is a person’s conscious and intentional accusation of himself for committed wrongdoings, a self-critical attitude towards one’s own personality and actions taken, which turns into forms of inflicting moral and physical suffering on oneself in order to reduce or wash away feelings of guilt and shame. It may not always have an adequate attitude and arise in the process of attributing someone else’s guilt to oneself or criticizing oneself for completely socially acceptable forms of behavior. The meaning of the word self-flagellation is synonymously comparable with self-accusation, self-torture, self-criticism, self-criticism and other actions aimed at emphasizing the negative aspects of a person and causing moral suffering under the guise of repentance or guilt.

Psychology explains self-flagellation as an attempt to cope with external conditions that do not satisfy a person’s internal picture of the world. This is one way to cope with intolerable feelings about one’s own personality and its weak or rejected sides (often such behavior involves receiving praise or encouragement from others, which is easier to obtain through self-deprecation than through real actions and achievements). Lost competition, discovery of stronger and successful people in the infantile psyche it is poorly tolerated and practically impossible to accept, hence similar behavior is born that helps to survive a fiasco, and the life principle looks like a choice of maximalist concepts, where a person has no right to lose or be weak.

An idealistic perception of the world plunges people into despair with every failure or when events turn out differently than expected. a great responsibility is constantly felt in its childish form, when the real world is replaced by an illusory one, and mega-abilities are attributed to oneself (just as children blame themselves for quarrels between their parents or accidents, with the same infantile and enormous responsibility a person blames himself for the slightest troubles or even accidental coincidences, in any non-ideality).

Self-flagellation forces one to make global conclusions, leading to devaluation of oneself completely due to a collision with minor non-ideality (or even significant, but this is still not the whole person). High demands and the inability to see the beauty in shortcomings do not allow you to get to know your real self, recognize those things that irritate you in yourself and accept yourself entirely.

Reasons for self-flagellation

Psychology defines self-flagellation as hypercriticism directed at oneself, carried out for show in order to gain approval, support or justification for one’s own actions. The mechanism is built on the fact that, directed towards oneself, it is perceived by others as sincere repentance and a tendency towards improvement, but the mistake is that ostentatious repentance is perceived as true. When a person does not wring his hands, does not throw mud at himself, but admits the very fact of committing an offense, does not loudly draw conclusions and begins to correct the situation, while recognizing positive traits that help to cope with shortcomings.

The choice of such a way of manipulating one’s own world and social relations can be formed in childhood, where there was no place for the formation of a sense of love and self-care. Under various traumatic conditions of development, mechanisms can be formed that give an understanding of love through pain (when the mother was affectionate only after complete defeat, or when the infliction of physical pain was explained by the benefit for the child himself and was done “out of love”). The experience gained in the parental family shows a person how he can be treated, and if the parents imposed moral pressure or physical beatings, then in the future the person lives according to this model, treating himself and others in a similar way.

The meaning of the word self-flagellation also has the meaning of inflicting physical suffering on oneself, as a way to get away from it by interrupting it physically or as an option for self-cleansing from wrongdoing. In the first case, individual mechanisms of the psyche work, helping to control feelings, the experience of which is frustrating for a person (when there is no experience of how to cope with pain, guilt or despair, then they overwhelm and become unbearable, and self-flagellation is always under the control of a person, therefore it is used as a destructive , but still a method of experiencing emotions). The second traces the influence of various religious and educational concepts that consider the body and caring for it to be something shameful or that prioritize physical punishment instead of acceptance and explanation. and lack of recognition lead to the idea that a person is not worthy of anything good. The feeling of lack of love and the right to receive it can lead to deep depressive disorders and misunderstanding of the meaning of existence, for which self-punishment is caused.

Polar worldview, infantile responsibility, characteristic of children and adolescents, and also persisting in some as a personality characteristic, do not allow us to accept the world and, accordingly, ourselves in the form in which it exists. There is a need to live up to ideals or destroy oneself completely, the inability to see halftones and accept negative qualities leads to the destruction of one’s own personality, in forgetting that it is shortcomings that make us unique, and mistakes constitute life experience.

Self-flagellation appears as a defense against traumatic conditions and influences, being traumatic in itself. It shines a spotlight on shortcomings for others, but leaves the main thing hidden from the person himself and does not contribute to change. The main point when dealing with self-blame is to find ways to respond and cope with emotions in less destructive ways, as well as developing a caring concept of life.

How to stop self-flagellation?

When the disadvantages and pain of self-torture begin to outweigh the secondary benefits received, the moment comes to get rid of the self-flagellation strategy, but this process is more complex than it might seem. After all, the temptation to act in a proven, albeit painful way is great.

In order not to slip away, it is worth separately analyzing what destructive moments and negative consequences you have already received in your own life, thanks to self-flagellation (if it is poorly fixed in, then make a list and periodically look at it). Also imagine where such behavior will lead in a few decades, what you will gain (nervous tics, reputation as a mourner, frayed nerves) and what you will lose (the desire to develop, achievements, friends).

Excessive self-criticism and self-flagellation continue to reduce already low self-esteem, destroying the personality. So your task is to continue to develop, to select activities that have visible results, so that you have something to praise yourself for, and not just scold yourself. Every time you want to give up and start a song about how everything is lost and you are not worthy of anything - do something aimed at (out of stubbornness, redo a report, improve your appearance, respond to an Internet troll, go to a master class or photo shoot ). The world is full of places where you will be let down, but it is just as full of places where you will be praised (any service industry from hairdressing to horse riding will add laudatory and wonderful words to your sense of self).

Another feature of self-flagellation is a focus on oneself, while the world around one does not seem to be noticed; such people are easy, but not interesting to communicate with, because they are constantly focused on themselves.

How to get rid of self-flagellation? Switch your attention to the outside world - see what interesting things are happening in it (weather, events, passers-by), ask what’s new with your friends (not for the purpose of comparing how bad everything is with you and nothing new, but with the purpose of finding out how things are going for them it worked), check it out last news and trends. In each of your attention to the external, look for inspiration and tips for development, by contacting people, you can receive adequate feedback, and perhaps discover yours that you could not see on your own.

And don't forget to analyze the situation. After all, most often the critic sitting in our head has a very specific voice (father, grandmother, teacher, first love) and says this from past situations that ended, but left their scar in perception. Essentially, if you were scolded for being restless in kindergarten, and you continue to do this to yourself as an adult, then you limit your capabilities, for example, in activities that require such vigorous energy, and this is only bad for an old teacher who has pressure and has long been not in your life. Analyze and compare your own reactions to the situation, without relying on the first emotional automatic reaction. At first you will have to control, get to know yourself and choose to take care of yourself instead of the usual infringement.

There are no ideals, try to derive benefit and pleasure from shortcomings, turn them into advantages. It is not total drilling of oneself that gives a person happiness, but the opportunity to accept oneself as tired, imperfect, angry - then a lot of freedom is born and there is a place for joy, and not just for pain.

Self-flagellation, self-criticism of the individual and self-criticism is blaming oneself for any failures that have occurred in life; religion condemns it, and psychology explains how best to get rid of it. Also, this is severely low self-esteem and uncertainty about one’s own success in life. These two words have different roots, however, in psychology their meaning is the same. The concept of self-flagellation has a religious origin: once upon a time, some believers beat themselves with a whip for committing a sin. Psychology explains exactly how to stop self-flagellation for any person prone to this action.

A synonym for these two words (self-flagellation and self-criticism) is indeed self-criticism. This psychological concept. IN modern world a person who intensively engages in it simply creates the impression of being overly demanding of himself (to outsiders). But this is just someone else’s view, but in reality everything is much more serious. Some kind of condemnation of one’s actions is typical for everyone, but there are people who are overly self-critical. They constantly reproach themselves for their failures and try to please everyone. When nothing good comes of it, they blame themselves. In general - a vicious circle.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation

What does it mean to be self-critical of yourself? This is when a person is not inclined to brag about his successes, and at the slightest mistake he shifts all the blame onto his own personality. It will be quite difficult for such a person in society, because the results are often related to the work of the entire team, and not one person. Many people are interested in the answer to the question:

Self-criticism, self-criticism of personality and self-flagellation: is it good or bad?

People approve of this trait; they tend to consider it the best incentive to success and even a component in raising children. All because they don't know about her bad qualities. It’s one thing when a self-critical person sees his shortcomings, laughs at them, tries to correct them, but doesn’t get too hung up on them, and another thing is when, due to some action or his own shortcoming, a person cannot sleep at night, loses his appetite, and is in a bad mood all the time and even thinks about suicide.
You need to engage in self-criticism in moderation. If its manifestations haunt you always and everywhere, you urgently need to fight it. Absolutely all people experience failures with varying frequency, and that’s normal. But some people don't think so. The psychology of self-criticism is such that thoughts about one’s unfulfillment and worthlessness torment a person precisely when he is left alone with himself. At these moments, with the help of negative thoughts, people undermine their mental and physical health.
Often, the cause of some diseases is self-flagellation. After all, during bad thoughts there is an increased load on the brain and heart. This is where headaches, strokes, and myocardial infarction appear. The medical list of causes of heart disease often includes stress, and it is quite possible that this is self-flagellation.
What’s bad is that a person who engages in self-criticism usually does not know how to stop doing it. In the worst case, he doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t notice anything except his thoughts, or he’s already used to living like this. For example, a mother’s child was hospitalized because she neglected to look after him. Naturally, the woman cannot come to her senses for a long time. Thoughts about her guilt and almost participation in this situation do not leave her. At such a moment, it is important to understand: if she reproaches herself, nothing will change. The time spent on self-criticism is better spent on treatment and caring for the child.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: reasons

The reasons for self-flagellation have different origins. These may be ordinary complexes about appearance, which later become an obsession. For example, a woman is dissatisfied with the size of her breasts and dreams of enlarging them. Any compliment to a busty friend, or even a comment on a photo, can not only ruin the mood for the whole day, but also become a reason for unpleasant thoughts. Many will object: this is not self-criticism, but an ordinary complex due to appearance plus jealousy. That's how it is, but not quite. The fact is that a person who engages in self-flagellation is inclined to blame even his external shortcomings for all failures.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: examples

1. So, for example, the girl described above, with small breasts, does not have a good career and salary. And so, left alone with herself, she begins to think: if I had size 4 breasts, then I would work as a model (actress, singer) or be successfully married, not count every penny, and not suffer from jealousy. Then, she blames herself for the fact that for some reason she did not find the money for surgery to enlarge this part of the body.
2. An equally common reason is envy. This view will also face the following objections:
An envious person hates another, more successful person, but not himself. After all, it is extremely unpleasant for him to watch his neighbor buy a more prestigious and more expensive car every month, while he (or she) cannot even repair the old nine. But hatred of a neighbor does not always happen; for example, an overly self-critical person will perceive this as proof of his helplessness. He will think: “here is a smart neighbor, but I’m not very smart” and find in himself other reasons for his failures.
3. Loneliness also plays a significant role in the development of this habit. If a person does not have friends and family, and with them, things to do that can be distracted, then when left alone it is a sin not to think about why everything is so bad and who caused it.
4.The cause of self-flagellation does not necessarily have to be external and mental deficiencies. This could be an unpleasant fatal incident (the situation did not depend on anyone). So, for example, a beloved and properly raised son went to prison and now his mother does not sleep at night, wailing:
- Where did I miss him?
-What was he missing?
– What did I do wrong?
“I once hit him for a mistake, maybe that’s why he became like this?”
5. The main reason development of self-criticism can be “good” friends or relatives. Among them there are those who like to constantly convince a person that he is stupid, ugly, unsuccessful in business, etc. Some constantly ridicule, others dissuade him from this or that idea and the person begins to believe in their words and really becomes what they say about him , while blaming himself for everything.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: symptoms

A person earns himself illnesses, constantly tries to punish himself for something and inexorably destroys his life. Some people say this:
“That’s what I deserve for being such and such!”
“I’ll go hungry, because it’s my fault that I’m left without money.”
“That’s what I need, so that I’m not so gullible.”
If a person is overly self-critical, he, unnoticed by himself, stops enjoying life. For example:
– It doesn’t suit me, because I have a big butt, small breasts, short neck, etc.
- I won’t meet this girl because I’m not good enough for her.
“I won’t let anyone read the book I wrote, because it’s terrible and will become a reason for ridicule.”
– I won’t meet or get acquainted with anyone until I lose weight.
Of course, such people do not notice how they engage in self-criticism and only learn about it from their relatives or on similar sites. So, the symptoms that a person is a Samoyed:
Complexes;
Self-hatred;
Comparing yourself with someone in terms of success;
Depression about how and why I am unhappy;
Dissatisfaction, and sometimes even hatred, with one’s way of life;
Loss of appetite;
Increased appetite;
Insomnia;
A constant desire to change everything, while lacking any action due to the opinion that nothing will work out;
I don’t like my appearance, I’m always looking for flaws;
My favorite thing to do is sit in the evenings over tea and remember all the failures in my life.
It must also be said that the self-criticism of women and men is different. The former often suffer because of their appearance and are prone to hysterics about this, while the latter never like the situation in which they find themselves. So, for example, a man who lives with his mother thinks:
– How unhappy I am: I can’t even buy an apartment for myself to move out.
A man who lives alone thinks that no one needs him, a married man thinks that he is henpecked.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: results

At first glance, there is nothing wrong with this character trait. People encourage her. After all, the lack of self-criticism is unpleasant, especially for others. Self-criticism is the same as pleasing everyone. Firstly: this is impossible, and secondly, this trait has many side effects, namely:
Positive emotions leave a person, and he is in a state of depression, inclined to take out his anger on others (since he has already taken out more than enough on himself). An overly self-critical person also becomes pessimistic, whining all the time, causing hostility among others.
Such people cannot be healthy, because they do not sleep and lose their appetite, and this causes various health problems.
They try to impose this unpleasant quality on others unnoticed, for example: if it doesn’t work out for me, then it won’t work out for you either.
By focusing on failures, a person completely forgets about his abilities and stops developing and demonstrating them.
It is difficult for those who constantly blame themselves for something to solve the problems that have arisen.
He focuses on his shortcomings and those around him really begin to notice them.
A person who has a strong sense of guilt easily becomes a victim of a manipulator, who, in turn, constantly uses him.
To avoid all the above troubles, you need to end this bad habit once and for all.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: how to get rid of

Before answering the question: how to stop self-flagellation and how not to engage in self-criticism, you need to understand the reason why this habit appeared in your life. If you have become her: a friend, husband, or relatives, you should seriously talk to them about this topic. When all attempts are in vain, it is advisable to limit communication with such people. There is no need to leave your criticizing relatives, but you can live separately or see each other less often.
If your plan does not work out, you should look for another way to achieve success. And in order to tune in to the right mood, it is advisable to avoid excuses and practical advice From friends. There are two options: either not tell anyone anything, or firmly insist on your position. After all, an adult can do whatever he wants within the framework of the Criminal Code. So, can someone really influence his decision-making with his excuses and criticism?
How can you stop engaging in self-criticism if it is directly related to complexes and personalities that aggravate them (at work, strangers)? Very simple. You should learn to fight back in the same way, while looking unperturbed. For example: Having heard a joke about small breasts or a fat butt addressed to you, you can respond with no less sophisticated teasing. The reason may be: a gross speech or spelling mistake in words, the expression on the face of a wit, the topic of jokes, and even the appearance of the offender. It is important for Samoyeds to remember that ideal people It doesn’t happen and everyone has flaws.
When looking in the mirror, you need to look for your strengths, not your weaknesses, to love your body (face) and remember that not everyone likes modern ideals of beauty. You can conduct training in front of a mirror as in the old famous movie: “I am the most charming and attractive.”
It is very important to look not only for the advantages of appearance. It is advisable to focus on inner world, because it has long been proven that beauty is only an addition to intelligence, charm and a sense of humor. People who have all these qualities often feel great even without breasts of the fourth size, huge blue eyes, feet from ears. But a beautiful appearance, without a mind, is something funny and arousing pity.
Communication with friends (not those who develop complexes) helps a lot.
You should take on those things that you can do. For example: there is no need to pledge all property in favor of some business. It’s better to spend only part of it on courses or learning a new business; this will allow you to earn more in the future. Before acceptance important decision it is necessary to calculate all the pros and cons.
If you fail, you should not give up. Here many will think: “It’s easy to say, but how to get rid of it if there is no one else to blame for the loss of property (for example)? Even from such a situation you should look for a way out; there is no time to reproach yourself. Friends, relatives, help from the state.
Quite selfish advice, but often more than one person is involved in the actions committed, and therefore there will be nothing terrible if a share of the blame is fairly assigned to the accomplice.
As for inaction or mistakes in fatal incidents and as a consequence of an endless feeling of guilt, you need to treat what happened as life lesson. Just sit down and ask yourself:
– What was the need for what happened?
– What mistakes did I make?
– What is the use of all this?
In general, the point is optimism. Everywhere you need to look not for negative, but for positive aspects, and then success will not be long in coming.

Self-criticism, a person’s ability to feel guilt and shame for some of his ugly actions, prevents him from repeating similar mistakes in the future and helps in improving his personality. But sometimes the feeling of shame and remorse is elevated to some excessive degree, leading to self-criticism and causing constant moral discomfort. Such emotions are destructive in nature and it is necessary to get rid of them without wasting time.

Self-flagellation is called excessive tormenting of oneself with accusations, which can lead to moral oppression of the individual and mental disorders. Self-deprecation is conscious and intentional in nature when a person is aware of causing himself suffering and sticks out his negative sides.

Reveling in self-flagellation, he may begin to attribute someone else's guilt to himself, overly criticizing his actions.

Note! A heightened sense of remorse experienced over a long period of time can worsen physical health.

People with a vulnerable mental organization who idealize the picture of the world are prone to self-flagellation. And when your own personality does not match the created one beautiful picture, it reveals many flaws that are difficult to accept, weak person begins to engage in self-abasement instead of taking real steps towards getting rid of vices.

Often, self-flagellation is demonstrated by such people in order to receive encouragement or praise from others. Mental infantility does not allow one to survive with dignity the defeat in the form of lost competition to more successful and strong personalities. Every failure is accompanied by despair and cruel self-criticism.

Such an undeveloped personality demonstrates childish behavior. An illusory perception of the world forces one to attribute hyper-abilities to oneself and experience increased responsibility for current events. So, a small child may blame himself for his parents’ divorce or an accident. Any imperfection in the world, manifested in minor troubles or negative accidents, is perceived as one’s own defeat and is subjected to severe self-criticism.

By engaging in self-flagellation, a person becomes fixated on his own imperfections, not allowing himself to see the mass in himself. positive qualities. Without accepting his true self, he cannot move further towards self-development and self-improvement.

Signs

Over-criticism of oneself, demonstrated ostentatiously in order to gain support, sympathy and approval from others, is a weakness designed to justify one’s own low actions. When a person shows anger at himself, it is perceived as an act of repentance. But in this case, an ostentatious admission of guilt is taken as sincere. But a truly repentant person with a strong psyche will not play to the public, but calmly admits his guilt, goes and corrects what he has done, understanding and recognizing the positive aspects of himself that help in the fight against shortcomings.

For comparison, signs of healthy self-criticism develop when a person adequately evaluates his actions and analyzes them as follows:

• I have difficulties with an unfamiliar subject or situation;
• I didn’t put in enough effort to solve the problem;
• I underestimated the difficulty of the situation;
• I have formed the wrong idea about the problem, and so on.

Such an analysis and approach will allow you to improve yourself, change and adjust your attitude and actions in the future.

When a person prone to excessive self-deprecation is faced with a problem, his thoughts develop differently:

• I am not capable of anything;
• I am much worse than other people;
• I'm not interesting to anyone;
• I am not able to fix it;
• I myself am to blame for everything.

Psychologists call self-flagellation spiritual masochism. It has long been known that a negative mental attitude and black thoughts can significantly worsen a person’s physical health. It is difficult to achieve the desired result, constantly engaging in self-criticism, if even the slightest bit of what was planned is not immediately achieved. In the end, the whole thing ends in whining and giving up, as well as even deeper dissatisfaction with one’s own actions.

Causes

Many mental problems are formed in childhood, including the tendency to self-flagellation. Gaps in upbringing and incorrect behavior of parents towards a child form a distorted worldview and an incorrect understanding of their place in life.

So a mother, criticizing her son or daughter, only ruins their self-esteem. Or even worse, when the educational process includes physical punishment through pain. When it is explained to a child that he is being punished out of love and for his own benefit.

Growing up, such children continue to live according to the model of their family. They just don’t know that you can get love not only through self-flagellation and pain.

The main reasons for self-flagellation are:

1. pathological self-doubt;
2. an established inferiority complex;
3. constant disbelief in the prospects of one’s capabilities and underestimation of one’s own abilities;
4. inability to quickly adapt to changing circumstances;
5. fear of making the wrong decision.

A person who has a tendency towards self-criticism can very quickly destroy himself and his life. Gradually, such a person develops a persistent need for constant self-abasement, which leads to unnecessary suffering and self-destruction.

Possible consequences

The negative experience that a person receives in his parents’ family, where he was humiliated and beaten while raising him, forms in him the need to experience pain and a sense of guilt. And by demonstrating them, he expects to receive love and sympathy from those around him.

In more severe manifestations, self-flagellation through inflicting physical pain on oneself becomes one of the ways to survive severe mental pain, drowning out one another. Or, with the help of physical suffering, a person, as it were, goes through the path of self-purification from his own shameful offenses.

Psychologists say that the infantile personality is not able to cope with the strongest emotions of guilt and despair, which he cannot control. Such a person resorts to self-flagellation as a way to experience negative emotional outbursts, because such a method, despite all its destructiveness, is always under control.

Self-doubt and low self-esteem lead a person to believe that he is not worthy. better life. He sincerely believes that he has no right to receive love and recognition. Hence deep depressive states, lack of meaning in one’s own existence and constant punishment of oneself for far-fetched offenses or the guilt of others.

Thus, a teenager with a polar perception of the world yearns to live up to recognized ideals. And if he does not see such a correspondence in himself, then he destroys his personality by using various ways, up to suicidal elimination. Such children do not understand halftones. They are unable to accept their negative sides. They are unaware that mistakes are experiences necessary for self-improvement, and shortcomings are signs of a unique personality.

Often a person who constantly torments himself with spiritual masochism remains alone. The contradictory and destructive nature of the emotions he experiences is a direct path to severe, prolonged depression and personality destruction. Without professional help According to specialists, such people go on drinking bouts or become seriously ill.

How to stop self-flagellation?

Spending the allotted time on endless self-flagellation is a crime against nature. Blaming yourself for all the sins of the world without analyzing your misdeeds and mistakes is pointless, and besides, it is fraught with a deterioration in your well-being.

Note! Those who practice painful self-criticism fail to understand that the personality they possess is priceless. Her uniqueness is based precisely on imperfections: both in appearance and character.

When you make a mistake, you should analyze it, draw conclusions from it, and then correct it, if possible. It happens that nothing can be corrected, then a mistake is a necessary experience with the help of which a person matures, grows and never makes the same thing again.

Most Samoyeds do not care how serious the reason for self-flagellation is. Sometimes all they need to do is get into trouble in public, stretching out ridiculously on the ice, or saying something stupid that will make those around them laugh at them. The most insignificant reason will become a catalyst for a protracted attack of self-flagellation.

To stop mocking your own psyche through self-criticism, self-blame and self-deprecation, you can use some tips:

• remember the existence of a sense of humor that helps out of the most ridiculous situations, and learn to laugh at your mistakes;
• to increase self-esteem, praise yourself more often, choose an activity where results can be achieved quickly;
• use your imagination and think about what consequences can come from engaging in senseless self-torture, acquiring problems with physical and mental health - a dubious reputation as a bore and a crybaby, losing the few remaining friends;
• constantly, preferably daily, take actions the consequences of which will be self-development, improving yourself externally and internally (anything will do: courses and master classes, changing your image, learning languages, and so on);
• give up the habit of withdrawing into yourself, begin to notice the world around you, look for positive moments in it and concentrate on this;
• start to please yourself every day and take care of yourself, disconnecting from the annoying voices from childhood that once tried to manipulate, humiliate and constantly criticize;
• try to get along with your shortcomings, gradually turning them into advantages;
• If you cannot cope with the habit of self-criticism on your own, you can always turn to professionals for competent help.

The ability to rid yourself of negative tinsel that tends to stick and poison your existence comes with life experience, through a series of trials and errors. Life is not ideal, but everyone has the power to bring it closer to their best embodiment, finding a piece of joy wherever possible.